


Basic Education

by ChingKittyCat



Category: Baldi's Basics (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Gods, Imported, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pictures, Unconventional Format, Written as a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-05-29 16:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 57,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChingKittyCat/pseuds/ChingKittyCat
Summary: "Do you think god stays in heaven because he lives in fear of what he's created?" -Spykids 2-RP Blog turned archived fanfiction. Odd formatting and pictures due to the fact that this was a joke roleplay blog. Not every single bit of the blog will be shown here, just as much as needed in order to get the plot across. If you desire to read the entire thing,then visit it yourself. Appologies for the use of small text at first. Art credits arehere.





	1. 5/8 - 5/22

 

[lucifcrux](https://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://lucifcrux.tumblr.com/) has entered the school!

 

> ᴮᶫᵃᶜᵏᶰᵉˢˢ, ᵗʰᵉᶰ ᵇʳᶦᵍʰᵗᶰᵉˢˢ⋅ ᴸᶦᵏᵉ ᵇᵉᶦᶰᵍ ᵖᵘᶫᶫᵉᵈ ᵒᵘᵗ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵘᶰᵈᵉʳᶰᵉᵃᵗʰ ᵃ ʳᵒᶜᵏ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃʸ'ˢ ˢᵘᶰ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᶦʳˢᵗ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ, ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃᶫᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵇᶫᶦᶰᵈᶦᶰᵍ⋅ ᶜᶫᵒˢᶦᶰᵍ ᵒᶰᵉ'ˢ ᵉʸᵉˢ ᵗʰᵉᶰ ᵒᵖᵉᶰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᶦᶰ ᵃ ᵗᶦᶰʸ ᵇᶫᶦᶰᵏ ᵒʳ ᶜᶫᵉᶰᶜʰᵉᵈ ˢʰᵘᵗ ᵗᵒ ʰᵉˢᶦᵗᵃᶰᵗ ᵒᵖᵉᶰᶦᶰᵍ, ᵉᶦᵗʰᵉʳ ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ ʳᵉˢᵘᶫᵗ⋅
> 
> ˢᶦᵐᵖᶫᵉᶰᵉˢˢ⋅ ᵁᶰᶰᵉʳᵛᶦᶰᵍᶫʸ ˢᶦᵐᵖᶫᵉ, ᵗᵒᵒ ˢᶦᵐᵖᶫᵉ⋅ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ ˢᵒ⋅⋅ ᵁᶰᶫᶦᵏᵉ ʳᵉᵃᶫ ᶫᶦᶠᵉ, ˢᵒ ᵐᶦˢˢᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵗᵃᶦᶫ ᵒᶠ ᶫᶦᶠᵉ⋅ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵒᵘᶫᵈᶰ'ᵗ ᵇᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᵈᶦᵈ ᶰᵒᵗ ᶜᵃʳᵉ, ᵃᶰᵈ ʷᵃˢ ᵃᶰʸʷᵃʸˢ, ᵃᵍᵃᶦᶰˢᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵈᵈˢ⋅ ᴬ ˢᶜʰᵒᵒᶫ ᶦᶰᵗᵉʳˢᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒᶰ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵉᶰᵗʳᵃᶰᶜᵉʷᵃʸ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ˢᶦᶰᵍᵘᶫᵃʳ⋅⋅ ᴹᵃᶰ⋅ ᴾᵉʳʰᵃᵖˢ ᶦᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵗᵒᵒ ᵍᵉᶰᵉʳᵒᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵃᶫᶫ ʰᶦᵐ ˢᵘᶜʰ, ᵇᵘᵗ ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ˢʰᵃᵖᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵃᶰ⋅

> “ᵂᵉᶫᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ˢᶜʰᵒᵒᶫʰᵒᵘˢᵉ﹗” 
> 
> ᵀʰᵉʳᵉ'ˢ ᵃ ᶜʳᵃᶜᵏᶫᵉ ᶦᶰ ʰᶦˢ ᵛᵒᶦᶜᵉ⋅ ᴺᵒᵗ ᵒᶰᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʰᵘᵐᵃᶰ, ᵒᶰᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᵐᶦᶜʳᵒᵖʰᵒᶰᵉ ᵖᶦᵗᶜʰᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵐᵃᵏᶦᶰᵍ ᵃ ᶫᶦᵗᵉʳᵃᶫ ᶜʳᵃᶜᵏ⋅ ᴵᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵍᵒᶰᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵉˣᵗ ˢʸᶫᶫᵃᵇᶫᵉ⋅ ᵂʰᵒᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʷᵃˢ, ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᶠʳᶦᵉᶰᵈᶫʸ⋅
> 
> ᴬᶰᵈ ᵃʷᶠᵘᶫᶫʸ ᵘᶰᶜᵃʳᶦᶰᵍ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵐᵖᵉʳᵒʳ'ˢ ᵃᵖᵖᵉᵃʳᵃᶰᶜᵉ ᵒʳ ᵃᵍᵉ⋅

 

 

> It wouldn’t have felt so  **odd**  seeing as the imperial often jumped from his own realm into another for a bit of  _somewhat_  casual exploration. However, here, the air felt of something completely _sinister_ , an aura that managed to make both Mateus and the translator that accompanied him slightly unnerved and more on guard than usual.
> 
> This….man(?) before them was quite an odd sort as well, and the blonde had to blink a few times to confirm that what he was seeing was indeed  _real_. Wanting to tread carefully, he decides to humor the other, composing himself enough to put on an innocent mask.
> 
> [ ♛ ] –  **“A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”**  There’s a slight hint of nervousness within his tone, but he manages to keep himself together as he and the translator begin to look around, both trying to figure out where to start in this strange place.

ᴰᵉˢᵖᶦᵗᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳᵉˢᵉᶰᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵐᵃᶰ ʷᶦᵗʰᶦᶰ ʰᶦˢ ˢᶜʰᵒᵒᶫ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᶦᵐᵖᶫʸ ᵈʳᵉˢˢᵉᵈ ᵐᵃᶰ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᶰᵒᵗ ˢᵉᵉᵐ ᵗᵒ ᵐᶦᶰᵈ⋅ ᵀʷᵒ﹖ ᴼᶰᵉ﹖ ᵀʰʳᵉᵉ﹖ ᶠᶦᵛᵉ﹖ ᴺᵘᵐᵇᵉʳˢ, ʷᵉᵃᶫᵗʰ, ᵖᵉᵒᵖᶫᵉ﹖ ᴵᵗ ᵈᵒᵉˢᶰ'ᵗ ᵐᵃᵗᵗᵉʳ⋅ ᴼʳ ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ᶦᵗ ᵈᵒᵉˢ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶰᵉ ˢᶦᵐᵖᶫʸ ʷᵃˢᶰ'ᵗ ᶫᵒᵒᵏᶦᶰᵍ ᵈᵉᵉᵖ ᵉᶰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶦᶰᵗᵒ ʰᶦˢ ᵍᵃᶻᵉ﹖ ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᵘᶰˢᶜʳᵘᵖᵘᶫᵒᵘˢ ᶫᶦᶰᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵛᶦˢᶦᵒᶰ ʷʰᶦᶜʰ ˢᵗᵃʳᵉᵈ ᶦᶰᵗᵒ ᴹᵃᵗᵉᵘˢ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᵃ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᵘʳᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ᵉʸᵉᶫᶦᵈˢ⋅

ᴮᶫᵃᶜᵏ, ᵉᶰᵈᶫᵉˢˢ, ᵃᶰᵈ ˢᶦᶫᵉᶰᵗ ᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃᵇʸˢˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖᶦᵉᵈ, ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵉᶫᶫᵒʷ ˢᵗᵒᵒᵈ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᵃˢ ᑫᵘᶦᵉᵗ ᵃˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ʷᵒᵘᶫᵈ, ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᶦᵐᵖᶫʸ⋅⋅ ᴸᵒᵒᵏᶦᶰᵍ ᵘᵖᵒᶰ ᴹᵃᵗᵉᵘˢ⋅ ᵀʰᵒᵘᵍʰ, ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʳᵃᶰˢᶫᵃᵗᵒʳ'ˢ ᵉʸᵉˢ, ᶦᵗ ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ'ᵛᵉ ˢᵉᵉᵐᵉᵈ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᵀᴴᴱʸ ʷᵉʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᶰᵉ ᵇᵉᶦᶰᵍ ˢᵗᵃʳᵉᵈ ᵃᵗ ᶦᶰˢᵗᵉᵃᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵐᵖᵉʳᵒʳ⋅ ᴮᵘᵗ ʷʰᵒ ʷᵃˢ ᵗᵒ ˢᵃʸ﹖ ᴼᶰᶫʸ ʰᵉ ᵏᶰᵉʷ⋅ ᴮᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᶰᵒᵗ ᶦᵍᶰᵒʳᵃᶰᵗ⋅ ᴾᵉʳʰᵃᵖˢ ᵗʰᵉʸ'ᵈ ᶫᵉᵃʳᶰ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵇᵉᶦᶰᵍ ᵃ ᵖᶫᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵏᶰᵒʷᶫᵉᵈᵍᵉ, ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜᵒᵘᶫᵈ⋅

ᴮᵉʰᶦᶰᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃᶰ ᵃʳᵉ ᵗʷᵒ ᵇᶫᵘᵉ ᵈᵒᵒʳˢ, ᶰᵘᵐᵇᵉʳᵉᵈ⋅ ᵀʰᵉʸ ˢᵗᶦᶜᵏ ᵒᵘᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᶜᵒᶫᵒʳ ᵃᵐᵒᶰᵍˢᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᶦᶜᵏᶫʸ ʸᵉᶫᶫᵒʷˢ⋅ ᵀʰᵉʸ'ʳᵉ ᵒᵇᵛᶦᵒᵘˢᶫʸ ᶦᵐᵖᵒʳᵗᵃᶰᵗ⋅

 

 

> Now that miffed him ever so  _slightly_. The other creature could have enough decency to respond, but rather, it stares onward, as if boring holes  **directly**  into his soul. Unnerving, but Mateus would not drop his mask so easily.  No matter what this creature  _thought_  it was, the emperor wasn’t going to allow foul play (  ~~but what would it even do?~~  ), lest the other wish damnation upon his very being by the master of Hell  _himself_.  
> 
> 
> It is then that he’s snapped away from his thoughts by the translator, who points out the brightly colored blue doors. They suggest trying them, as they may hold clues as to what this dimension might be, and even get them away from the unblinking being before them. This **wasn’t**  a bad idea in the blonde’s mind, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take of the stares.
> 
> A moment passes before they begin to move towards one of the doors, taken by surprise as it slides open, revealing the room inside.   
> 

**I** t’s a square room full of square objects, perfectly cut and perfectly even. They are untextured. They are insanely plain. So plain that they should not exist. They were not rendered for even remotely human dimensions. They were made for something lesser, easier to understand.

 **M** addeningly so.

 **A** t the end of the room there is a blackboard. There are desks. There is a large rectangular desks, foliage contained in pots to decorate barren borders of the room. This is a classroom.

**A** nd in this classroom there is something to be learned. Floating in ways defined as erratic, up and down in jarring turns. A book. Pink. Demanding attention with both its movements and its color.

 **T** he man in the hallway says nothing. He stares at the backs of the students with his dilated iris-less eyes.

 

 

> As _if_  the man creature with the endless void of a stare  _wasn’t_  enough to unnerve both the emperor and his accompanying translator.
> 
> Widened lavenders focused on the almost (  _seemingly_  ) excited book bouncing up and down midair on the desk, and with some hesitation, towards the other being itself again.  _It was still staring, unblinkingly, not a single muscle moving_. Mateus quickly turns away, focusing back on the book at hand.
> 
> The object was beckoning the two to come close, both he and the translator could feel it, and without hesitation, moved closer and closer until their  _knees_  were practically touching the desk the book was hovering above.   
> 
> 
> They then look at each other, taking a moment to discuss whether or not it was an actual _good_  idea to touch the damned thing.  
> 
> 
> [ ♛ ] –  **“I’ve never seen something move so _erratically_  before.”**  
> 
> 
> **“Agreed, sire, but should we at least investigate it? You know if it contains foreign text, I’m more than happy to translate it.”**  
> 
> 
> ** “Yes….I know this well. However, I’m not getting an exact pleasant feeling from  _any_ of this.”  
>  **
> 
> **“I understand, sire, but _please_.”**  
> 
> 
> Mateus is silent, internally trying to push aside whatever fear was building up and keep up this composed mask. His eyes were still focused on the book.  _The blasted thing_.   
> 
> 
> **“….Fine.”**  
> 
> 
> Without another word, the imperial reaches out to touch it.  
> 

[  **Only** ] a single touch and the emperor alone had been whisked away. Or at the very least, his vision had been put into a completely different place. Perhaps his body stayed in the classroom whilst this happened, perhaps it didn’t.

A large screen, two large windows and four smaller on the left side. There, on the very bottom left window, was the familiar man.

 

As happy as ever, despite the sudden new location and circumstance. Seems this was normal to him. A very normal process.

_“Now it’s time for everyone’s faavorite subject; math!”_

On the biggest screen there’s a simple question. So simple a child could answer it without any issue.

_“Answer the three questions correctly, and you might get something special! Just type the correct answer into the empty Box! Press the Enter key on your keyboard when you think you have the Right answer!”_

He leaves no room for breath and he speaks in a froggish voice most strange on the ears.

_“Problem one. Two. Plus. One. Equals?”_

The best way to describe him would be ‘robotic’. Forced through a routine of code and other such nonsense. He was far from.

 

> The scenery change put him in a very understandable, yet _unexpected_  panic.   
> 
> 
> If Hell was condensed within a black void with no end in sight, this was it. His legs felt frozen, as if stuck in place, yet he could move his hands and arms just fine. Without his translator, however, he could  _not_  understand what was said, and that brought even  **more** panic onto Mateus.
> 
> However, he  _could_ read numbers (  _thank the heavens_  ), and it didn’t take too long for him to figure out that the man-creature wanted him to  _solve a math problem_. He scrunched his nose.
> 
> A math problem? Of  **course**  it had been communicated that this was a school-house, but why in the hell was Mateus tasked with such a  _simple_  problem? Not only that, but he _wasn’t_  even expecting math, in fact, he (  ~~probably~~  ) didn’t even _know_  what to expect.  
> 
> 
> _Two plus one was **three**_.  
> 
> 
> He’s slow at first, but Mateus manages to answer the equation despite the obvious incompetence he showed with technology.  _The enter key is pressed_.  
> 

_“Wow! You’re amazing!”_

[  **Considering** ] he’s still smiling in his little window down there and a affirmed green checkmark has appeared in the top left box, the emperor has gotten this answer correct. How absolutely miraculous.

A new problem has appeared, another test of the man’s resolve and smarts.

 

_“Quesstion two,”_  he said in his terrible monotonous frog-voice, “three. Minus. Four. Equals?”

Best of luck, emperor, this question deals with impossibility in it’s most simple form.

 

> Three minus four? That was easy, it was  _negative one_. This **lack**  of a challenge was rather mundane to Mateus, and with a bored expression, he inputs the answer and hits the enter key once more.
> 
>  
>
>> **_-1_  **  
> 
> 
> Was this all there was to this realm? Surely it hid something  _more_  besides elementary problems, secrets that _lurked_  among the brightly colored, yet dull looking environment. The emperor wouldn’t have issue then, and he would appear much  **more**  entertained than he is now.
> 
> He awaits the third question, and it would undoubtedly be as easy as the previous two.

[  **Well** ] , the emperor expected correctly. This next question was just as easy as the other two. Not even saying that sarcastically or anything.

 

_“Fantaaastic! Problem threee! One. Plus. Nine. Equals?”_

Man this boring task sure was killing the atmosphere, wasn’t it? Well, that’s a good thing, made it so that way the tension was lessened and one could be put more at ease.

Attempts to lower guard were more than obviously being made here.

 

> Killing the atmosphere was one thing, but  _insulting_  his intelligence was another.   
> 
> 
> Blonde eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the third, last question with absolute  **hatred** burning in those once calm lavender hues.  _One plus nine_.  ** _ONE PLUS NINE_**. Had Mateus not been bounded within this void, he would have used his magic by now to completely annihilate the green device before him.   
> 
> 
> What a shame.
> 
> Rolling his eyes, Mateus inputs the final answer with much disdain, something being muttered under his breath as he did so ( likely an insult towards the bald creature ).
> 
>  
>
>> **_ 10 _ **
> 
> _“WOW, YOU EXIST!”_  
> 
> 
> …Wait, _what_? What the hell was that supposed to imply? Of  **course**  he existed, even if he felt  _otherwise_  on some occasions, so for the device to simply state the obvious in response for the correct answer being put in was rather…strange to say the least.
> 
> (  _ ~~The real question here is how was he even able to read that?~~_  )  
> 
> 
> Before he could think much else of it, Mateus was whisked away from the void, back right in the classroom as he had been with the translator minutes before – and his aforementioned companion looked quite  _relieved_  upon seeing the emperor himself again – and the book that once was floating above the desk in such an excited manner was now gone.  
> 
> 
>  
>
>> _“You did great, come here and get your prize!”_  
> 
> 
> Mateus  _didn’t_  need his translator to repeat that one, the voice alone was enough to compel him, and this time, he was a little less hesitant than before.

[  **Draw** ] the elk into his trap and ensnare it, should it be elk. Should it be prey, he will approach and kill it like the whelp it was. Should it be, should it be. Don’t be an idiot now, emperor. He’s done this many times before you, and he will continue to do after you’ve long since gone, should you be an idiot.

 

_“A shiiiny quarter!”_

He continued on as the shorter receeded into the hall. His mouth did not move as he listed off instructions. How to use items, how to pick them up. Information so basic.

How boring a routine this was.

Just take the quarter and get on with it.

 

> Nose was scrunched as he approached the being again, taken by surprise at first by the small, round object being suspended in the air in-front of him and the man creature.  
> 
> 
> **“Sire, I do believe that to be-”**  
> 
> 
> [ ♛ ] –  **“Silence. I know what it is, I do not need to be _told_.”**
> 
> It was  _obviously_  currency, it wasn’t too different from the Gil that they used within his realm, it all had the same purpose anyway – to be  **exchanged**  for goods. However, this wasn’t what irked the emperor, but rather, why was  _ **this**_  the prize for solving such elementary problems?  _A single coin_?
> 
> He’d ask, but Mateus was sure he could figure it out for himself (  _ ~~typical~~_  ).
> 
> Without a single word to the creature, Mateus snatched up the coin and held it tightly in his palm for a moment before handing it to his companion to pocket for later.   
> 
> 
> ** “So, your majesty…where to now?”  
>  **
> 
> ** “To the other door of course.”  
>  **
> 
> **“….But sire, wouldn’t it just have the same thing within it? That creature said that this was-”**  
> 
> 
> The emperor makes a motion with his hand, gesturing for the other to close their mouth. He wasn’t  _stupid_ , he knew very well that it was likely going to look the same as the first room, but his curiosity was beyond piqued (  _ ~~beyond doomed~~_  ), and Heavens forbid that Mateus did not end up checking  _all the rooms available_.  
> 
> 
> Heels click against the linoleum flooring as he enters the next room with his companion close behind. The book was there, waiting.   
> 

[  **The** ] terrifying beast-man simply watched as the emperor and his little tag-along went into the next room to do the next questions. No more commentary except for instructions on how to use the coin he’d rewarded this student with.

This book, upon being touched, was exactly the same as the last. The questions easy, the solutions probable to anything that’s made it past kindergarten. Which, chances are the emperor did after his second try and a bit of tutoring.

Then comes the question.

On the thinkpad, the third question, the last. The screen showed a jumble of numbers, maybe even some letters, in a form unreadable and chaotic. Unmoving but still displaying a terrible bit of anarchy-like writing.

Waiting for any sort of reading from this man proved to be as helpful as one would expect.

A cacophony of blaring noise and static came from his mouth as he read the question out loud, only sounding ‘normal’ when he came to a ‘plus’ and ‘times’. Then, he was quiet.

 

And all expectant.

 

> It had gone all as he had expected for the first two. Simple, elementary questions that took little to no time to figure out. He felt confident, as if nothing could go wrong.   
> 
> 
> Then the third question came, along with a piercing ambience that boomed into his eardrums, and Mateus could not help but let out a pained cry.  _His poor ears_ , he didn’t even  _hear_  what the damned creature had said in betwixt the sudden screech. Even when it finally stopped, he could feel his ears ringing, his whole being  _shivering_.  
> 
> 
> It took a few moments for the emperor to recover and gather his bearings after such an assault was made onto his eardrums – oh heavens, he hasn’t shaken like this in  _years_ , and while it almost brings up unpleasant memories of the past, he’s quick to shake them off. Standing here in this void and freaking out wouldn’t get him anywhere.   
> 
> 
> _~~ Bottle them up. ~~ _
> 
> He eventually looks down, only to be greeted by…. **nonsense**. The third question was a scrambled mess, numbers and signs overlapping each other and making it  _impossible_  to decipher. Eyebrows furrow, trying somewhat to make out what was presented, but to no avail.  
> 
> 
> [ ♛ ] –  **“How is anyone supposed to _answer_  this…?”** Mateus muses quietly to himself, clawed fingers hovering over the keypad as he struggles to figure out what to input into the device before him. It felt wrong to just guess, but he had no choice here.
> 
>  
>
>> **_41_  **  
> 
> 
> Mateus already knew he was wrong once a red X filled the third box, but he suddenly felt uncomfortable soon as his eyes adverted to the creature sitting in the lower left corner of the device. His smile turned into a frown, thin brows furrowing as he seemed to look at the emperor with  _more_  than just disdain.
> 
> _Oh dear_.

[  **More** ] than disdain indeed. Look at the pure, unadulterated desire for murder in those eyes of his, emperor. Look at them. Are you looking? Because the harsh and sudden silence that filled the air was putting a mighty big focus on these angry orbs of his.

Then suddenly, the notepad is gone. The miserable failure was put back to the classroom, with his translator. It’s all but a horrid silent in the school now. There’s a pressing, pressing, something. Like the air itself was filled with the flight or fight activating chemical.

There’s a not-so distant smack. It sounds like it’s in the same room. From all directions, it’s impossible to tell which way it came from. But it continued. Slow. Rhythmic smacking of tool on hand.

 

Something threatens the two.

Considering the recent display, it’s very easy as to guess who that might be.

 

> Smack  _. Smack. **Smack**._
> 
> The noise of wood slapping against flesh startled Mateus, and he whips his head around towards the door. The noise, it sounded so close, so  _loud_. If the translator was saying something to him in regards to it, the emperor wasn’t listening – in fact,  _he was in the middle of a panic attack_.
> 
> Not many things made Mateus quiver.  He had his fears, but they were fears that were never disclosed to anyone, as doing that would expose him for a world of hell, and with information as sensitive as that, would be an easy way to _weaken_  him without physical contact.
> 
> A ruler smack  **wasn’t**  something he would normally fear, but it invoked something _unsavory_  deep within that caused him to sweat, slightly shiver, and worst of all, it froze him in place. It triggered memories that this time were _impossible_  to shake off, and all Mateus felt he could do was attempt to use his magic to protect himself and his companion.
> 
> **“Your majesty–?!”**  
> 
> 
> The translator’s pleas fell upon deaf ears as a sigil lit up beneath their feet, a pale purple light emitting from it as it created a barrier between them and the damned door.
> 
> Little did Mateus realize though, was that this  **wasn’t**  going to stop the man-creature. Or his smacking.  
> 

[  **The** ] noise came not closer, nor did it get farther. It stayed consistent. Loud. In the ear of both, improbably. Its rhythmic beats continued, and continued yet more. It kept that way for mere seconds that elongated within the mind to seem like agonizing minutes or longer.

Then he appeared before the door. It opened like something much like a regular door, sliding into itself in an instant as he stood in the doorway. That piercing gaze of his, still lacking constriction or further dilation. Yet, from the void of his eyes, there was clear malice and sinister, violent intent.

The face of a creature uncaring for faction, for backstory or for history. Of something that desired not to learn of who he so briefly taught before they were exterminated dutifully. Murderous apathy of the highest degree. All because Mateus was, in the shortest sense, an idiot.

He stood there. Ruler up at a perfect ninety degrees.

Then it came down upon his hand with another mighty smack. As soon as it did, he moved. He moved towards the emperor and his translator.

He phased through the barrier like it were nothing more than any other patch of air in this place.

 

> _Damn it all! Damn it all to **hell**!_  The beast had phased through his magic as if it was _nothing_!   
> 
> 
> Panic was clear on his features now, bile building up in his throat from the intense stress. Mateus knew this realm held something  _bad_ , he should’ve turned back when he had the chance – what a  **fool**  he had been for being ensnared into a trap such as this!
> 
> As the beast got closer with every smack, the emperor and his translator backed away from it until their backs hit the edge of the desk. It was hard to keep a tight grip on his scepter, and the sigil beneath them began to flicker from his loss of focus upon it.
> 
> Smack.  _Smack_.  _ **Smack**_.  
> 
> 
> It was now a few inches away from them, and his flight or fight instincts kicked in immediately. With a fast, swift movement of his arm, Mateus attempts to push the creature back – and in an instant, everything seems to go  _still_ , not even the echoes of the smacking wood to flesh could be heard.
> 
> Then, Mateus hears a crack. And then another. And  _another_.  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [ ♛ ] –  **“ _UNGAAAAAAAHHHHHHH–!_ ”** Lavenders widen as he lets out a screech that echoes throughout the room (  ~~even perhaps the halls?~~  ), watching in horror as his arm begins to contort, breaking the bones within before disappearing completely.  ** _What the hell was happening?!_**  Even touching this THING had it’s own  _consequences_?!
> 
> It was so hard to think, so hard to  _breathe_. He could almost feel his eyes roll to the back of his skull as the pain suddenly spread throughout his body – from his other arm and right down to his  ** _legs_**. He began to feel weak, and it wasn’t long before he dropped to the floor, his entire being contorting into something… _smaller_.
> 
> ##  _Clack._
> 
> In the emperor’s place, was a small brown wooden snake, adorned with purple markings akin to the aforementioned man, with black painted eyes and a soft cloth tongue. It makes a single clack noise, then another.   
> 
> 
> _The Lord Master of Hell himself had been reduced to a wooden toy_.
> 
> The clacks immediately become frantic, and he immediately tries to lunge at the man-creature.

[  **As** ] this man reduced down, as he became nothing and something new at once, at pain and expense of his old body, this creature had stood still and watched idly. Watching.

 

All the worse, it seemed pleased as well. Its lips turned back up as the emperor howled like some dying animal, desperate for whatever afterlife awaited them rather than the agony that currently enraptured it.

He cared not for the new attempts at attacks (as they simply fazed through him), and he seemed to care not for the translator either. The snake, much in line now unlike the remaining human, was much more akin to him and the proposed aesthetics of these walls. Looked like it really fit in now. The brown colors would blend well with the floors.

The ruler vanished from his hands within the mere forced blink, like it was never there in the first place.

_“Wooow! What a cute little toy! Hopefully no one trips over iiit!”_

He remarked in that same, fish-like voice. Then, he promptly slid out the room to the hall he’d come from. The notebook that once vanished now reappeared, hovering frantically above the desk once more.

Have fun, dear translator.

 

 

Anonymous asked: You’re a terrible creature. You know it’s impossible to answer the third answer on your little think pad because it’s all glitched and jumbled, right? So here you are, getting out a ruler and doing god knows what to a student. Some teacher you are.

  


"All my questions are appropriate for the grade level of the student."

He is firm in his twisted voice, ruler in hand. Perhaps a reminder of what can be done, what he is willing to do. Perhaps for intimidation; a warning of what comes when failure and sin dares show itself.

 

 

Anonymous asked: Would the death note have any effect on you?

  


Can an unfathomable, infinite creature die? Can something immortal, something beyond comprehension and without the rules of time nor dimensions and space die?

What do you think?

 

 

Anonymous asked: Watch out Baldi, you are not immortal once you get fangirls.

  
  


 

 

[nineknife](https://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://nineknife.tumblr.com/) asked: "Ah. I need... Two notebooks to pass?" She points to the yellow doors, that smile still on her face. "Well. I know my world, and others, quite well. So what if I just--" She makes an odd movement against the doors, before suddenly, she's on the other side. As if she just... Clipped through them. "Curious. Seems like I didn't need the notebooks at all..." Her grin widens. No fear was shown.

 **W** hat? What?

 **W** hat? What? What? What? What? What? What?

 **T** hat’s impossible. It’s not feasible. It’s not something that can happen. It isn’t allowed, and it never should be. Nothing like this should happen. In laws of space, in laws of time, they discourage and prevent. But they hadn’t here, and they didn’t here. Rules so clearly broke, space and mass so easily passed.

 **B** ut he is not one detered by failings, and he is not one unprepared for impossibility; such illogical and mind crushing things. He is not one ill-prepared, he is not one who shied being proactive. For the child on the other side of the doors he stared at like a dead fish, his gaze did not falter nor show any shock at what she might think was an accomplishment.

 **H** e slid and did the same, sliding through the door to her. Though he was allowed to; she was not. He was prepared, and in perfect and matching movements of mouth, he spoke.

_“Are you lost?”_

**T** hat same froggish voice.

_“Here, let’s go to the next notebook togetheeerrr!”_

**H** e did not touch her. He did not move his arms, nor did he make any solemn or slight of hand. As if a magician or some force or way of magic, he pulled her back through the door, ‘clipping’ again, then dragged her. 

 **N** o touch. Nothing physical. A pull. No wind. Nothing. Just pulled. Forced. Nothing more than that. As if she were sliding across the floor just like he had, no need for her legs was necessary as she was dragged.

 **T** hen she is infront of the blue door, and the force stops. He returns back to where he’d been earlier through meants of a blink-you’ll-miss-it means of transport.

**F** or he is smart and capable, he cares not for her antics.

 

 

Anonymous asked: WHAT IS THIS BLOG

  


 Anonymous asked: Are you a cryptid?

 

 

[  **Was** ] he? A cryptid, an instance of legend brought about through whispers of horror and ill-meant shadows? Something that was seen but unseen, something interpreted as danger but perhaps wasn’t? Something existing and not existing at the same time; something horrible and something mysterious?

_“…”_

That is to assume he is not real. Boldly stating that he does not exist. That he poses no threat and cannot hurt even if he so desires. Which as the ignorant fully know, is far from truth. As his ruler knows, as any one attending this school knows. 

He is no cryptid. For he is a threat full and real, capable of being reached out to and touched. And that makes him far more threatening than any blurry-pictured myth that ever supposedly existed.

 

 

Anonymous asked: What's outside?

[  **Outside**  ] …

_“All the fun is iiinssiiide! Don’t worry about what’s out there until the end of the school day!”_

Outside. Somewhere other than this, something, somewhere. Uncertainty. A gamble, a place where no child should be. A place he most certainly does not belong, nor will he entertain the thought of. 

He will not think such idiotic thoughts. 

 

 

Anonymous asked: Do you ever go outside, Baldi?

[  **He** ] is still. He is unmoving in his spot from the front of the entranceway, where he always was waiting for students. From there, from there.. From there and only there, nowhere else.

There’s windows. Two. There, outside. Unattainable, between wall and glass. There.  _Right_ there. Somewhere he cannot go, and he will never go. Is it tragic? Is it?

It’s heavier on the heart to have something then lose it than to never have it in the first place. If he’s had it.. That was in his memory, and his alone. But the question is enough to stir him. Perhaps it’s telling. Perhaps it’s not.

It summons the crackles of electiricity and mechanics into his very voice, of speakers doing something wrong and snapping. He repeats what he’d said before, either from loss of words or from.. Something else.

_“AaAaAaAAll the fun is iiinssiiide! Don’t worry about what’s out there until the end of the school day!”_

Was there something to be told here? Maybe. Was it worth it? No.

 

 

Anonymous asked: Damn, what kind of lipstick do you use?

“ _Lips_!”

 

 

 

[badlette](http://badlette.tumblr.com/) asked: " UGH !!! Don't patronize me with BASIC math problems. I'm WAY smarter than most my age. Give me a challenge already!! "

[  **He** ] cares not for her egotistical tone. If she is smart she is worthy of such a thing, as she claims to be. He will test, and he will determine her true knowledge just as he’d done to thousands before. If she is as she says she is, she will take her problems as he delivers unto her.

_“Question three;”_

The thinkpad displays nothing less than gibberish. Of numbers and problems overlayed ontop of eachother in a terrible, indiscernible mess. This is what she’d asked for, and even she did not ask for it, she would have received it anyways.

He will read it for her.

From his moving mouth comes sounds of electronic screeches, of loud buzzing white noise. Of audio corruption and static, it pours from his toothless maw like it were as simple as saying ‘hello’. It is eargrating and nothing short of a cacophony of blaring noise.

It stops for a second.

_“plus,”_

Then continues. Then stops again.

_“times,”_

Then continues. Then stops.

And he’s silent, expecting an answer. 

 

>    Yeah, that? 
> 
>   That’s the face of someone who knew they sort of  _had_ this coming. Quite honestly, the girl was amazed that her ears hadn’t bled from that. It did succeed in finally snapping her out of her own world though, reminding her that she was a kid. Eggette started to open her mouth to say something, but then quickly closed it again trying to process everything going on. This became worse than the nightmare she had with Sonic trying to educate her … on  ** _elephants_**. The prior five questions had been laughably easily, why did she have to be cursed with something practically unanswerable?   
> 
> 
>   “ Before I answer,  _uh .._  ” At least it didn’t seem like she was in immediate danger. He was still smiling and smiling meant kindness, right? “ Could I get some .. scratch paper to work on this? ”  
> 

_“…”_

[  **A**  ] smile was friendly, wasn’t it? Here he was, still smiling and staring at her from the bottom left of the Thinkpad’s black window. There was no paper here, there was no way to exit this until she completed the last question. 

So he stares, and does not move a muscle. His judgment was silent, and so was he. 

The answer was probably no.

 

 

 

> [c0nsumingvirus](https://c0nsumingvirus.tumblr.com/) has entered the school!

[  **One** ] of normal body would find this plane of existence bland. Sight, smell, taste. Bland. There is nothing here that is not of the same texture, of the same shadowless sight. Light’s scrutiny is harsh here, yet still everything is visible and not blinding.

To eat this place is to eat sawdust and tasteless dust. It is nothing if unpleasing. 

“…”

He watches her consume desks from the hall. To rip apart the very fabric of his reality like it were nothing but a plaything. He stands there, placid. It’s more than obvious he has seen this more than once, as it has lost all it’s shock value on him. That or he is unshifted by even the most ludicrous things. 

Both, considering his content, were fully possible.

His stare was void, and his voice the same.

 

>  Eat. Eat. Consume. That’s all that she could think of.
> 
>  She didn’t know how she got here, but she didn’t care, as she tore into the school desks and papers, her green tongue lashing out as she shoved the pieces into her mouth like an ungodly beast, hungry for anything. The virus made a few smacking noises. There was no value to these items. She could barely ‘taste’ anything. Compared to normal desks? This was odd. It was like drinking water, but somehow that water did not help you get hydrated at all. She drags her claws against a wall, before he finally notices _him._
> 
>   “…”
> 
>  The desk leg that was poking out of Kir’s mouth slid out, awkwardly, as her plug of a tail perked up. What was that? Looked like some 3d objects just thrown together, in order to create some semblance of a living creature. She licked her lips. She wondered if he was worth biting into, or if he’d just taste like dust.
> 
>  She got on all fours and began to approach, in silence. This should be easy, he looked like clipart from the 90′s.

[  **Should** ] she expect fear? Should one expect water from a planet with no atmosphere? She recieves no fear. She receives nothing that indicates shock. All she gets is his ever impartial stare, even as she approached. He cares not for her display, and not for how she walks.

 

All he does is look upon her, nothing more. He allows her approach. He allows this to happen. Does he know? Is he ignorant? He is far from. He is far, far from ignorant. 

There will be pain and fear. But it will surprise her who it will infest.

 

 

>   “…Huh.”
> 
>  A soft murmur escaped her jagged mouth as she was now mere feet away from the other. Normally someone would ask what she was, or why she was here. At the very least, they would… Move a bit. Sure, not everyone ran away screaming, some actually got out a weapon, or at the very least, put their fists up. Useless motions, but still something. Was she disappointed? Not quite. Unsettled? Somewhat. 
> 
>  She shrugged. Maybe this was him just accepting his demise. People took it different ways.
> 
>  She stands up at her ‘full’ height, her ears barely managing to allow her to match Baldi’s. Maybe she wasn’t intimidating enough, but she didn’t feel like going through the effort of spooking him. So, she just casually leaned forward, towards the others right arm…
> 
>  …And  _bit_  into it. It was quite a harsh bite, mind you.

[  **Pain** ] is something lesser than knowledge. He is the ladder. Thus he is incapable of it. He is wisdom. He is scholar; he is a concept put into form. He cannot be consumed, he is the one who eats. No festering virus would ever take him and hurt his form, nor would anything lesser than pure information ever do so much more than fail to faze him.

 

Which was why he smiled and made not a single noise nor movement of agony. Because it was not he who’d made a mistake, it was not he who was worthy of torture and hurt. It was her, and his very existence made sure of it. 

There was nothing. Then as she held onto him, something to the sinister effect of horrible poison took over. Like biting into a wild berry and suffering the consequences. This berry, this ill-meant fruit of knowledge that he was, harbored the tearing forces of mutilation underneath it’s skin, and lashed out fully against her as she held.

He was transforming her into something more worthwhile. Something better; something to fit this school and its purposes. His purposes. She will not be let free of her own bite until it’s agonizing completion comes upon her. Something of invisibility forced her jaw locked until then.

 

> Agony.
> 
> She did not think of the possibility of the other being dangerous – Could anyone? The other just looked like something a 3-D artist would throw together as a joke and post it online so people could Photoshop it into silly things. Her confusion at the other not at least yelping out in pain was cut short by what seemed like every line of code in her body feeling pain. Things jumbled and tried to piece itself together into something she wasn’t.
> 
>  Pain. Pain pain pain. Her yellow ‘skin’ sunk into her actual form, her disguise melded with her true form in ways that were obviously not supposed to be possible. She screeched, flailed, tried to pull away, but she couldn’t. This was a pain she had not experienced before. It did not feel like the burning of fire, the sting of ice, or a sword stabbing right through her. It was all of those things at once.
> 
> “WahATaA aRE Y oU  DOI NG GG A AA A A 01100001 01100001 01100001 01000001 01000001 01000001″
> 
> Suddenly, it was over. Something lay on the floor. It was small, and rather goofy looking. The polygons on it twitched as its beady, tired looking eyes shot open, a large amount of glitched, garbled sound effects emanating from it.
> 
> “[!? ?!?! ?! ?! ?!? !?!?? !! ?!?](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D2L9iIE9dXb0&t=YjU0MTJiZWJjOGZlOGNkNGE3Nzk4YWU0YWQ1ZjBhYWJlMzViZGQxZCxuMTNtTTU0cg%3D%3D&p=&m=0)”
> 
> Every school has some sort of vermin skittering around. The rat made long electronic hissing noises at Baldi, as he now much taller than it. What did he do.  _What did he do_. The rat ‘skittered’ backwards, glitching terribly as it attempted to revert back to what it should normally look like.
> 
> “I have as many polygons as an early PlayStation game!” The voice wasn’t hers. It sounded like a bad text-to-speech female-like voice, with a slight distortion. “What the hellllLL LLLL lLllLlL did you do!? Did you somehow chANNNNGGGGEE my forMAT? ImPOSSIBLE! IMPOSSIBLE!  **CHANGE ME BACK.”**

[  **As** ] she dropped off him, his arm was completely fine. Free of any signs of damage and as if nothing had even happened in the first place. Free of pain, free of transmogrification, unlike her.

_“Ew, a raaaaat!”_

It’s most definitely a taunt that comes from his lips. He made this happen, now he jeers at her.

 

Since when did he have that in his hands.

 _“Guess IiiIiII’ll have to get rid of it myself!”_  


 

Anonymous asked: Gives Baldi a cup of dirt.

[  **It’s**  ] in his hand. His head does not crane down to look at it, but he has it. His fingers, long and in their lack of detail or webbing, have the cup within his grasp. The dirt contrasts the surroundings. It contrasts him. How detailed it is, how.. Real it is.

In his grip, it’s slowly shifting to be more like him. Could he control that? Could he not? Who knows.

 _“Tttth-theee best food-”_   Normal at first, then he grasped.. Tightly into the cup,  _“is braaain food! I don’t need this when I eat tasty knowledge for breakfaaast!”_

His fingers unlatch after a moment of unwilling silence. The cup clattered onto the floor, spilling it’s contents. As soon as it touched down, the container and the dirt became like the surroundings. Plain. Simple.

Inedible.

 

 

Anonymous asked: Wait, what? [What's the Sonic the founder of, Baldi](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174143979987/baldis-basics-im-sorry-but-sonics-schoolhouse)? You know him?

_“You don’t think the principal or I made this schoolhouse, did youu?”_

[  **Why** ] would he ever do that. Found this place. The question to him implies this certain amount of assumption. Assumption that because one owned something that meant they were it’s founder. 

Perhaps it’s egotistical to claim ownership over an entire school yet not be the one who had hands in creating it in the first place. But it really is his; he is the only teacher and scholar. 

This place was made for him. In a twisted sense of the word, it was a  **gift**.

_“Maybe you’ll get to meet one of the founders one day, if you’re a gooood student and you do aaall your questions!”_

He hasn’t been here since this place had been created in inspiration of his image. Nor has the other man who made these walls, floors, and everything else. He won’t be back any time soon. 

Neither of them will.

 

 

Anonymous asked: Why are you even called Baldi??? You have that one strand of hair on your head. You’re technically not even bald. Borderline bald, yes, but not bald.

_“It’s a nicknaame the students like to call me!”_

[  **Name** ] of jeer, name of mockery, turned one of fear and reverence.

 

 

Anonymous asked: hey, baldi! i'll give ya a solid 5 bucks (five BUCKS, you can buy a ruler with that) if you don't make me do some certain math problems.

[  **Money** ] has no permanence to him. He gains nothing from greed, from wealth and it’s storage. He’s not a man of accumulation, nor is he a man to be bribed with such petty, sinful things.

_“Do yooour homework every day! It’ll pay off more than what you’re trying!”_

There is no venom in his tone, but ones who knew him well enough (which is to say, essentially no one) would be able to tell he was offended by the offer of cheating and skipping over problems found too difficult.

 

 

Anonymous asked: Is the problem supposed to look like this...?

“…”

[  **His** ] silence and his smile is telling. Like he knows it’s meant to be that way, that it’s supposed to look like this. He is expectant, he is knowing, and he waits only for an answer made not with words, but with fact.

If it is proven to be true, to be virtuous, only the test would tell.

 

* * *

 

[  **Why** ] does it appeal to him? Why wouldn’t it, really?

There’s nothing about this school that isn’t built to last. The architecture, the design, the dimension. Everything was meant to stay and to be permanent. Permanence, permanence, something that he was and this school was; something that would be inescapable. 

Permanence. Eternity. Hunger for more, hunger for what was out there in the most physical, guttural and shifting way possible.

He’ll get there. Yes. It’s just a matter of time. 

_School always gets out for the summer, doesn’t it.  
_


	2. 5/22 - 5/24

 Anonymous asked: [CURRENT STATE SAVED]

  


_**“Cheating?”** _

[  **There’s**  ] only one thing worse than a blatant and proud sin. One trying to stave off punishment and retribution under the guise of perfection and clean accord. It’s a lie, and he did not take kindly to those.

With his device of rapture, he approaches the stranger at speeds accelerated by rage, and with no hesitance, casts them into an abyss where only a single fidget spinner would be their company.

 

Anonymous asked: [STATE LOADED]

  


[  **No** ] introduction. No repeat.. Except for in outcome.

 

Anonymous asked: Cheating isn’t a sin if you don’t get caught~

  


[  **It’s**  ] apparent he does not like the stranger’s extremely flawed logic.

 

Anonymous asked: All it takes is a single keystroke for me to terminate this program.

  


“…”

[  **There** ] is no fear in his eyes. There is no fear in his motionless body, and no fear in his mind. To be threatened with death was something impossible for him. He could not die, and he could not die here. He was a creature of knowledge, not of matter, and he could never be terminated due to his very concept and state of being.

He would not be consumed by death. He was the one who ate.

His smile was a taunt, a thing to say ‘go ahead and try’. He knew the outcome. He knew what would come of it, like all other things did; nothing.

 

Anonymous asked: Shhhhhh it’s ok just let me vore you

  


[  **He** ] was not the one to be consumed. He was the one who ate.

 

Anonymous asked: That’s even better lemme munch munch on those insides

  


…

[  **If**  ] there were a guidance counselor here, he’d send this student to them. But there isn’t. So he won’t.

 

Anonymous asked: Skool is 4 chumps

  


_“Keep thinking like that and you’ll-”_

[  **His**  ] voice twisted with sounds of cracks and corruption, of audio gone wrong and twisting itself to sound horrid. His anger, that was it. With no adjustment in face nor of tone, it’s crackles and shifting was his venom, and it showed itself loudly in his speech. It obscured anything he was saying.

_“Hahaaa! Stay in school and always do your homework! We wouldn’t want that to happen!”_

His disdain was clear, unlike the words he spoke; corroded by noise of pseudo electricity and distortion.

 

Anonymous asked: hewwo?? baldwi? may i pwease bowwow a qwater? .w.?

  


_“Answer three questions on a Thinkpad correctly and I’ll think about it!”_

[  **He**  ] couldn’t just hand out prizes and affirmations for free. There had to be an exchange, something worthy. No borrowing. 

 

Anonymous asked: im from the discord and I will eat your family guess who I am sucker

  


“That’s silly!”

[  **You**  ] can’t eat something that doesn’t exist.

 

Anonymous asked: Does your hand ever start hurting after slappin' that ruler on it so much and so hard?

  


_“I don’t slap my ruler often, so no!”_

[  **Beings**  ] of his stature are incapable of such things. Pain is lesser than him, and it cannot sully him in physical or any other forms it pricks at. In that way, amongst others, he was lacking.

 

Anonymous asked: baldi is the super gay

  


_“It’s not time to be learning about that sort of thing!”_

[  **It’s**  ] something he did not care about. It’s something that did not concern him in any way, shape, or form. There were truths, but this was something amongst truths of sexuality or romance. 

They were ever-shifting, they were ever-developing. They were not true virtue, true fact due to their liquid forms and constant change. They did not matter in the grand scheme, nor did his opinions on them matter either.

_“Wait until health class and you can learn all about iit! For now, it’s time for the best class; math!”_

A class that did not exist and would never; health. Numbers were fact, health and body were not. They were variable, they were ever-changing, and they mattered less than cold solution.

It would be hypocritical to teach a class of health anyways.

 

Anonymous asked: Has anyone actually passed your class?

  


_“No one has ever passed without a hundred percent, haha!”_

[  **Absolutely**  ] no one.

 

[noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/page/14)

   “Maybe people would be able to pass your class if you weren’t a  **sausage-lipped idiot** ,  _teacher_.”

 

Anonymous asked: Have you ever tried to stop a student from eating chalk?

  


_“Don’t eat chalk, it’s not good for you!”_

[  **That’s**  ] a yes, then.

 

Anonymous asked: I’m so sorry for what your eyes have seen Baldi

  


[  **Dilation** ] was enlargement of the pupils through means of chemicals. His large pupils, that’s what those were. They were meant to symbolize happiness in the most basic form possible. They never stopped being large, ever.

He would get angry, he would be displeased, but they’d never shrink.

Perhaps it’s because he knew something others didn’t. Or maybe it’s because he’d seen this all before and had been expecting it. Maybe his eyes worked differently than what creature he was meant to represent.

It’s hard to tell what these eyes have seen, or what could possibly shrink them, or if there’s been any time they’ve been smaller than at the very least 70% of his eyeball.

It was hard to faze him.

He was not worth pity if he was not truly affected by what he saw.

 

Anonymous asked: yo ur head is gonna blind me man you gotta put a hat on

  


_“Maybe I’ll get one after schooool..?”_

[  **Big** ] maybe. School hasn’t been out for over twenty years now. Neither has this class ended.

 

Anonymous asked: Don’t do school stay in drugs.

  


_“Wrong!”_

[  **There’s**  ] his ruler. It’s not being used right now. It’s just here for intimidation. Here to be a warning to stop this stupid joke before it goes any farther.

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi, can you give me more problems to solve?

  


_“Suure! If you find more notepads then I’ll give you more problems!”_

[  **Go** ] on trial and receive your dues. More problems to solve, more tests of purity, potential and just punishment was to be had if the accused found guilty.

 

Anonymous asked: Dad

  


_“Hahaa!”_

[  **Nothing** ] more than a laugh from him. A father figure? Him? How humorous. Really did tickle the gut. Children were to have utmost respect for him. They should not be calling him a father, but something more. Teacher. An authoritarian figure capable of overlapping a parent’s commands.

 

[rockosarthouse](https://rockosarthouse.tumblr.com/) asked: Mr. Baldi, what do you think of the principal?

  


_“He sure loves his hallways, haha! Don’t let him see you running in the halls or he’ll give you deteennntion!”_

[  **A**  ] colleague. One underneath him in strength and wisdom but ally nonetheless. Capable of ensnarement of the most advantageous kind; containment in a room he was capable of easily going to.

A lesser, second to him. A useful one. He would be able to do without if the principal were gone, and it would not emotionally sway him if he up and disappeared one day. 

The principal might’ve been seen as a leader in this school because of title, but anyone who went here knew who the real authority was.

 

[teabutshort](https://teabutshort.tumblr.com/) asked: Heya! Why do you get so angry when someone gets a problem wrong?

  


_“Because-”_

[  **Static** ] and corruption pours from his talking mouth and overshadows his words with their distortion and noise. Nothing is discernable like this, it’s like the audio equivalent of black writing being blotted out by a black marker.

_“and that’s all! Now, lets get back to doing some maaath!”_

 

Anonymous asked: Mr. Baldi, can I stay during lunch to help clean off the chalk boards? Also, I finished all of my math homework!

  


_“Wow! That’s fantastic!”_

[  **Studious** ] and kind? Truly one of the best of the best, aren’t they? Generous enough to try and wipe off the chalk boards as well. Perhaps this student fell in line with his ideologies. Or perhaps they didn’t, and only time would tell when they eventually angered him. That always seemed to be the case.

_“Of couurse you can! Just don’t wipe off the P.L.U’s! Hahaa!”_

 

[crxcxdile](https://crxcxdile.tumblr.com/) asked: “Mr. Baldi, I’m quite impressed with how you discipline your students. Have you considered other methods of punishment besides your measuring stick?”

  


_“Keep doing those math questions and you won’t have to worry about it!”_

[  **Retribution** ] and justice came in a form most unusual when it came to him, and struck unnerving terror with just a single smack against his hand. There was no blood, there were generally no wounds. There was nothing between the ruler and the one disciplined, and that’s what it made it so effective.

Not like there’s anything else around here to use except his hands. And he’s not going to go around slapping children with those. It’s unprofessional and just.. Silly.

 

[projectioniist](https://projectioniist.tumblr.com/) asked: "What is a.. school? Sounds familiar, and I prolly knew about it before, but I've long forgotten it."

  


_“This is my schoolhouse! It’s where we all learn togeeeethher!”_

[  **Helpful** ] . Very telling. It appears like he is unphased by the man’s appearance or lack of knowledge. Well, one of those things won’t stay so monotone and plain in tolerance if this fellow proves himself to be a sinful ingrate.

But he likes to be optimistic. He doesn’t hope for it.

 

Anonymous asked: "Mister, I... don't really like the vibes from your... uh.. schoolhouse. Could you please just... point me to the exit?"

  


_“Press escape to pause if you need a break!”_

[ **There’s**  ] no escape to be had here.

 

Anonymous asked: y'all got toes?

  


[  **Leave** ] or die.

 

Anonymous asked: My keyboard failed? In the middle of the first problem!? Come on!

  


[  **It’s**  ] none of his concern why failure had come. It’s only his issue now to deal out punishment. Failure is failure, regardless of context, and it’d visited and shown itself in his halls, and to his eyes. There is nothing worse than it, and his wrath is plain and clear.

Everything is silent now. His reckoning is stalled only by curiosity to see what other things this person will undoubtedly fail at as well. He wants to gauge how mad he should be, and how forceful and devastating he will be.

 

[royalraaainbow](https://royalraaainbow.tumblr.com/post/174170035863/bxsiceducxtion-you-know-what-tf-this-is): 

>      **This was not right. This was not normal. This was not what he wanted.**  He didn’t know how he got there, but what he knew was that he needed to get  **out.**  He felt… powerless. He had very rarely ever felt this way, but out of the limited times he did, none of them were quite like this.
> 
>      Of course, the first thing he was faced with was his surroundings. The simple and untainted geometry on the inside would normally be pleasing to him, but both the unprompted situation that brought it to him in the first place and its oddly static-like nature to it only gave off an extremely negative aura. Despite this, if there was one thing that confidently stood out, it was…
> 
> **…him.**  Despite looking like some cheap, simulated three-dimensional sprite, there he was, standing prominently at the intersection of the two hallways as if nothing was unusual. But that statement couldn’t be farther from the truth. The height advantage that he had over the royalty was not something he had experienced in an eternity, but he hated every moment of it. Hell, the stranger was even  **smiling.**  While a gesture like that would normally be one of friendliness, the extremely uncanny nature of the whole situation only communicated the opposite.
> 
>      The presence of this man alone told the King one thing, and refused to let him forget it: He didn’t belong here. He didn’t belong here.  **He didn’t belong here.** An unending sense of dread infiltrated his mind, and wouldn’t stop until he was safe.
> 
>      Safety… was that even  **possible**  in a place like this?
> 
>      His eyes didn’t dare to look away as his hand fumbled with the door marked as an exit. A futile attempt, as it didn’t budge at all. Would it even open? Was it a cruel  **joke,**  teasing something that doesn’t exist? Even if escape  **was**  possible, what would happen then? The windows to the immediate sides of the ‘door’ only showed a bleak void.  **Nothing.**  He would be doomed to wander forever, that’s what.
> 
>      But that option, oddly enough, seemed more favorable.

[  **His** ] arm waved in a way most un-human, but the gesture most likely meant the same thing. It was disconnected at the elbow and it was more flailing than anything, making it very clear this man wasn’t a typical one. If that wasn’t apparent from his otherly appearance and face.

_“Oh hiiii! Welcome to my schoolhouse!”_

He is uncaring of the smaller’s fear. Whether he even knows it’s there in the first place is something no soul but his hollow self knew. Considering his nature, it’s more than likely he knew full well he was inciting paranoia at the moment. But that’s a permanent unknown for the ‘King of all Cosmos’, isn’t it?

A maddening creature he was, most likely feigning positivity just to keep a facade of potential safety. Considering his wrongness and his general atmosphere, there was more than likely something terrible about him. 

…

His silence after his greeting did nothing to ease pricking thoughts.

 

>      Heavy breaths escaped him as soon as he had come to the conclusion that the only way forward would be to face this man. With the good look and listen that he got before, it was extremely evident that this man wasn’t normal. Whether or not it was possible to even _exist_  in such a state… was not a question the King expected to ever ask himself in his life.
> 
>      His hands hesitantly slipped from the doorknob, shoulders stiffening as he faced the stranger once more.
> 
> **“…This—this _must_  be a mistake.”** The simulated calmness didn’t exactly work as well as he intended. He knew that he was lying to himself, and it must have shown.  **“This is… a schoolhouse, yes. For _children._  And as you can see…”** An unsteady hand sent itself to his chest.  **“…We—We are _not_  a child. We request a  _proper_ exit.”**

  


_“You’re never too old to leeaarrnn!”_

[  **College** ] and university existed for reasons like that, as it’s apparent this man was unaware. If this new student was caught being improper under his eye, he would have to teach them a few things other than math.

_“Stay in school!”_

Good morals, good lessons, the smile and positive attitude through strange monotonous voice responses. Perhaps at a different time they would’ve been taken without fear, but considering the situation and what they could possibly imply..

Well. Hopefully they meant nothing more than just reminders.

 

>      It wasn’t that the King wasn’t aware of something like a college, no. Of course not. But if this place were to be labelled as a  _school,_  it certainly didn’t seem like something of his level on first impressions alone. The vibrant blue and yellow plastered on the doors behind the stranger only communicated something like a kindergarten facility at best, though what the rest of the building held was still a mystery.
> 
>      His hand lowered from his chest as his other balled into a fist. His fear was slowly melting into anger, something more typical from him, yet he still remained cautious. The other had power over him, and he was sure of it, as much as he hated to admit it. It would be best to try  _not_  to get into a violent conflict with that kind of knowledge, but knowing his impulses…
> 
> **“…We—We understand, but We are not _looking_  for further education right now. All We ask for is an  _exit.”_**

  


_“…”_

[  **Unblinking** ] . He stares through the king and his gaudy appearance with no venom nor scrutiny, it’s vacancy and absence of seemingly all judgement whatsoever should be comforting, but his inhumanly eyes provided no safety despite their propose of softness.

His silence and gaze offer no answer. Only expectancy. What does he expect from the king? Movement, progression to be precise. Or confusion. Either works, but until shown something, he will remain quiet.

He cared not for violence hinted by the balling of this student’s fist, nor for any anger broiling.

 

>      …The unsettling silence didn’t do well for the newcomer.
> 
>      His brows furrowed at the lack of any sort of response. He would never get used to a situation such as this one, and as such, his patience was wearing thin. A sharp exhale escaped him, taking a moment before beginning to pace in the other’s direction.
> 
> **“…We would like an answer to Our request.”**  His typical tone had already began returning. It was only a matter of time before his own ego got the better of him, even in a serious predicament, and it seemed that it happened rather quickly in this case. Was he doubting his assumptions about Baldi  _this_  quickly? It was… very possible, knowing him.

  


[  **Want** ] a response, but not need one. So you’re not getting one, Kingy. Instead you’re getting more empty silence and a still vacant-stare from him, just like everyone else. 

You are no higher than him, or anyone else who entered this place. Physically and in title. You were entitled to nothing except learning, and he will give you nothing but learning.

He’s letting the other’s anger get the best of him. So he can learn what happens when you try your luck against something bigger and in more command than yourself.

So.  **Try**.

 

>      Another string of silence? In the presence of  _royalty?_  No. This would not do. He did not _care_  about what kind of power he previously assumed the other to have. He did not  _care_  if he was potentially putting himself in danger. He was the  _King of All Cosmos._  Anyone with the possession of a title such as his shouldn’t have to obey what another commanded. He would not accept such a fate.
> 
>      …Seemed like he had fallen for it, hadn’t he?
> 
>      Another sharp exhale broke the silence before a swift hand reached and grabbed at Baldi’s arm in a fit of rage. A… surprisingly  _easy_  task, with no semblance of resistance whatsoever.

[  **Idiocy** ]. But really, who would expect something to happen just with a simple bit of physical contact? He let it happen, and decided he’d help the process too. This student seemed like they really needed to learn some respect for others, so he clamped to the arm with an invisible force and kept it held to him.

Nothing happened for a second.

Then the mutilation began. Not in a typical sense. No flesh was being ripped to shreds, nothing was burnt and nothing boiled nor dripped, it was being transformed. 

Torn asunder was the King’s form, starting at the fingers and climbing up the wrists in long strands that moved up like hungry maggots. Fighting through the king’s flesh and feeling nothing less than rending and eviscerating as it went. Destroying his arm down to nothing until it got to the shoulder.

But it didn’t stop there. It continued to the rest of his body.

Receive what you apparently desired most, King; a makeover and brand new way of looking.

 

> **Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. This was a horrible mistake.**
> 
>      It only happened for a few moments, but the King would never wish such a punishment on even his worst enemy. At the terrible sensation, his hand desperately tried to move and get  _off_  from the other’s arm, only to no avail. All he wanted at this point was to  _get away_  from the pain,  _away_  from the agony, but he was glued to it. He was defenseless.
> 
>      He could feel his hand twisting multiple times over, and then his arm, getting thinner and thinner, more and more brittle. Something that could be snapped extremely easily, yet didn’t (at least, at the moment). There was no hesitation as the pain did the same exact thing to the rest of his body, mangling it until he couldn’t even be recognized as a human-like figure anymore.
> 
>      Oh, but of course, it wouldn’t just end like that. With no time to process what had just happened, a new wave came from what couldn’t even be considered his hand anymore. But were those _… pine needles?_  The foliage burst out from inside of him and crawled up what was left of his arm, encasing it completely and showing no sign of stopping as the previous pain had done before.
> 
>      Before long, it was over. It ended. His new form was oddly familiar, but it certainly wasn’t anything typically  _sentient…_
> 
>      …A pine tree, with a prominent star on top.  _How fitting._
> 
> Somehow, he was still alive. He could still think, despite the seeming lack of a brain. He still had his senses, despite the lack of any sort of organs to perform such tasks. He could still process emotions. And he could confidently say that he was  _terrified._
> 
>      Exhausted and sharp breaths emanated from the tree. His entire… ‘ _body’_  was still aching, and he wasn’t sure if it would ever be relieved. Could he even move? He was too weak to try.

  


_“Wow, aren’t you a sight_   _!”_

[  **He** ] remarked, his voice praising as he looked over the new staff’s form. A christmas tree, albiet under decorated, adorned with a star. It was larger than him in width, but did not surpass his height.

He could feel the ego from here. The swell of form would come along with a egotistical outlook. Plus, being a christmas tree; one beloved plant that many bought to decorate and make proud looking, such things would probably come natural to this new member.

_“Haha! Go have fuuun!”_

Another member to add to his little gang of helpers was a merry occasion. One he would not celebrate externally in any other way than a smile and usher.

Have fun trying to walk, new friend. Have fun being trapped within these walls with him and everyone else.

It’s going to get boring.

 

Anonymous asked: B a l d i m o r e f r o m b a l t i m o r e. O w O

  


_**“Say that again, if you will.”** _

[  **His** ] voice was not froggish. It sounded almost.. Normal. As normal as someone of his being can achieve.

Alas , despite his request, the school’s walls rumbled and made noise of clatter and defiance. He stood smiling with eyes even more widely dilated than they normally were, so much so as to eclipse the entire whites of his eyes with their darkness.

Before anything could be muttered, an incineration began. Not from the man who’d requested a second saying, but from the very building itself. Not with flames, not with lasers or anything so physical and feasible to the eye. It was just incineration, down to bone, then down to dust.

The stranger who’d spoken his name was no more.

Despite his clear wishes against, an act had been carried out. Dissapointed but not surprised whatsoever, his act of smiling and waiting came back to him immediately after a second to sulk was had.

 

Anonymous asked: Damn, must hate your name a lot huh.

  


_“…”_

[  **He** ] looks like he wants to say something.

He doesn’t.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you wear chapstick??? How do your keep your lips... like that.

  


_“Do your homework every day!”_

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi you ok there my dud, don’t tell me you had any of that weed number

  


_“The only things I get high on is the test grades! Don’t do drugs!”_

 

* * *

 

[  **A**  ] forever vacant stare looks out the door’s windows. The unshifting void, their colors never to change. But he knows when time comes and time goes, he knows what time it is and what time it will be.

Another summer encroaches. 

 **Exciting**.

 

* * *

 

[grimbarkedwoofss](http://grimbarkedwoofss.tumblr.com/) asked: does baldi is gay?

  


_“It’s not time to be learning about that sort of thing!”_

[  **He** ] speaks the exact same words that he did when he was previously approached with [this question](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174167985843/baldi-is-the-super-gay).

 

Anonymous asked: father... its been 20 years, where have you been?? its me, your child

  


_“It’s not very nice to impersonate people! Don’t do that!”_

[  **He** ] has no child. He is father to none, teacher to all. That’s it.

 

Anonymous asked: What would you do if someone plucked your one hair? Die?

  


_“Hahaha!”_

[  **It’s**  ] funny to think those of the finite flesh believe they can harm the infinite. Or believe he is even capable of simple mutilation such as that.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you ever use the Pad yourself whilst between students?

  


[  **More** ] static censors whatever he is saying. His mouth moves in such a way that it always did; with lip movements that matched nothing except opening and closing.

Is he doing this on purpose? Questions, questions.. But this wasn’t Baldi class, was it. It was math. The answers didn’t matter much here, did they.

 

Anonymous asked: What if one of them double-crossed you?

  


_“They’re all my friends!”_

[  **Allies** ] . Not. Friends. Allies that respected him, allies that assisted him. Things that feared and listened to him. They were no friends, at most they were tools. Sometimes they were even more hurtful than helpful.

They would never double-cross him. They would have nowhere to hide from his wrath if they did. In places infinite, there was infinite time for pain and hurt to writhe in their lesser bodies. 

They knew that full well. He did too.

 

[noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/post/174183843693/bxsiceducxtion-another-go-another-round-of)

 

 

>   Another go. Another round of dealing with this teacher.
> 
>  She completely ignored his introduction, going straight to the first notebook and getting all of the answers correct, as usual, and snatching the quarter that hovered into the air next to Baldi, ignoring his explanation on how to use items. She knew by now. But she had a plan this time around. Of course, she got the second notebook and answered the next two questions right and had to get that jumbled answer wrong, watching the ‘man’ slowly frown, and everything going quiet except for the distant slaps of the accursed ruler.
> 
>  Time for plan number… God, how many things has she tried?
> 
>  Making sure to avoid him and the rest of the… Residents of the school, she made a beeline to the soda machine. She carefully placed the quarter into the slot that would allow her to get some Bsoda, but she jiggled it back and forward quite a bit, not quite dispensing the quarter. She murmured a ‘come on’ as she continued…
> 
>  And several soda cans spilled out of the machine.
> 
>    “It…  _Oh my gosh_ , it worked.” And she still had the quarter. She could still use the phone to throw Baldi off. She grabbed two cans and head towards the phone.
> 
>   It was cheating, sure, but she just wanted to leave.

[  **Slap** ] . Slap. Slap. The rhythmic beating of flesh and wood, of primordial horror.. Something this girl was used to and had no fear against anymore. Not that he cared to inflict fear, he cared to get rid of her. That’s all.

He’s following the noise he’d last heard, of her opening the various doors of different hallway corridors. His ears were fine-tuned to such things. He was no mere mortal man, and his sensory abilities were clear indications, if his mere presence and physique was not.

His pace was slow due to her current only one error. He was angry enough to pick up his tool of discipline, but not enough to go fast enough than what was considered a mere brisk pace at most.

He’s coming after you, child. You and your ignorance is to be punished.. As soon as he catches up. Best not let him see you carrying.. All of that. He knows you haven’t gone to the cafeteria.

Despite the slow pace, he might be upon her soon.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   She knew she was probably done for if Baldi saw her with all of these sodas. What did he call it? Cheating? She let out a little ‘pssh’ at the thought. It was stealing, honestly, but the teacher did not like any error, apparently. That’s why she hated school. The very little she remembered, she despised school, and all of its silly rules as well as subjects. Man, she wished that she had one of those _new_ Playstation things right about now. That would make this experience much less boring… And horrifying.
> 
>  Emma had a plan. Disorientate the other with the phone, keep the others at bay with the soda, and get the notebooks. She had only managed to get all seven notebooks once, but… Baldi got terrifyingly fast. The soda would keep him at bay as long as she played smart.
> 
>  With all of her BSodas, she walked down the long hallway, towards the phone. She smirked at the idea of Baldi stumbling around, disorientated. As morbid as it was, the idea of Baldi being in any sort of pain made her happy. If her and the boy had to suffer, he should too. 
> 
>   “Get some of this, you lousy teacher…” She murmured, as she slid the quarter into the phone… Somehow. Not even she knew how she got it in.

[  **A**  ] dog whistle emits a frequency high enough for dogs to hear. That and children. The phone, the noise and frequency.. It did its job. It didn’t hurt his ears, it just made him look stupid and wander aimlessly as he had a sudden hard time remembering where the last noise was.

It overshadowed everything else with it’s terrible cacophony and made his mind stumble and freeze over before thawing again. He kept moving even though his cognitive thought couldn’t.

He was fried. But he kept forwards. He kept forward, then down the right of the hall. The long hall. Where the phone and the girl where, at the very, very end.

Where she had possessed two sodas and had used his quarter.

She’d cheated.

  


…

He sees. He doesn’t need to hear. He doesn’t need to think. Rage is typically thoughtless anyways. Cheating, cheating like this. That’s what spiralled him into hatred faster than any wrong answer could.

So he sped. He sped down the hall with over the speed she could sprint.

 

>   
> 
> 
>    “Alright, now I gotta–”
> 
>  She turns around, her heart skipping a beat when she saw him. The anger in those soulless eyes still managed to strike fear in her very being. She should’ve tried taking a longer route, opened more doors. Going down this hallway was a foolish venture anyways. Eyes that were not visible glanced at the entrance to the cafeteria. He was fast, but she still had those extra cans laying around near the machine. So if she literally went around, through the cafeteria, maybe she could get more after she got another notebook–
> 
>  Now was not the time to think, but the time to act.
> 
>   “Don’t give me that look.” She hissed, softly. She would cheat if she wanted to. This idiot wasn’t going to have his way.
> 
>  Emma got a can and ran forward, shaking it and, as she got close to Baldi, sprayed its blue contents at him, in an attempt to push him back. She immediately tried to enter the cafeteria, thinking about snagging an energy bar so she could regain her lost stamina.

[  **No** ] .

N. O.  _PERIOD_.

He would have his way, and his way would not be deterred by cheaters. He would not let liars have their way. They were far worse than proud idiots, for they disguised themselves under a lense of cleanliness. 

She was both a liar and an idiot.

  


Which is why he phased through her spit. Her venom, her attempt to push him away. His rage was greater than her stupid items and stupid attempts. He would not be stopped until she was tucked into the abyss she’d crawled out of.

Prepare to be smacked into oblivion, gal.

He’s not slowing down or being pushed back. Hope you can run fast enough.

 

>     **Oh.**
> 
>  Slight shock took over. She couldn’t abuse the sodas. It… It didn’t… Push him back at all. She couldn’t recall this happening before – Granted, most of the times she was probably caught cheating, she had probably already used her sodas. She would keep this in mind. Learn. However, she did not see all hope lost. 
> 
>  She  _smirked._  She may not have a lock, but she had the second best thing. She knew many odd ways she could abuse how the school worked. Even the doors. She may be stalling the inevitable, but you know what?
> 
>   Anything to get under Baldi’s skin.
> 
>  She could practically feel Baldi’s ruler ready to smack her as she reached the doors. The doors opened, however, She dropped her soda can right as she entered, and as the doors closed on themselves, the soda  _clipped_ into both doors, not damaged.
> 
>  The doors were stuck closed.
> 
>    “You’re not the only one who has _ **dirty tricks**_ , you know!” She mocked. “How about you try clicking on it, then right click it to use it, huh?!” 

[  **Within** ] the second he’s right up next to the door. Sure enough, it’s locked. It’s locked because she’s cheated. Twice. He’s standing right next to a headache now too. 

  


It gets under his skin more than anything else would. Twice. Cheating twice. Lying. Twice. To him. There is nothing, absolutely nothing more foul and disgusting in this place than such actions against him. 

The speed of his ruler against his hand is like that of a helicopter’s blade; going so fast one couldn’t see the individual blades. Just a swift and continuous semi-opaque discoloration of where they were and where they were moving.

It makes an ungodly noise, not one of flesh and wood, but of.. Like a car engine. A loud ‘BWRWRRWRWRWRWR’ comes from him as he stands there for a solid two seconds or so.

Then he circles around the entire cafeteria in miliseconds and is at the other door, has it opened, and is coming for this girl.

Cheating never pays, kids.

Baldi is going to make sure of it.

 

>   Shocked?  _Yes._  
>        Terrified? **For sure.**
> 
>  The speed. The anger. The noise. She glanced at the doors as they were flung open by the teacher who had witnessed her cheating twice. What should be her final words this time? She probably said ‘wack’ several times now, a cutoff scream was the usual boring route. So, she just opened her arms out wide and shrugged.
> 
> _**“Math sucks, and so do you.”** _
> 
>  That was a good one. She’ll try to remember that as she’s smacked into the void. She chuckles, closing her eyes and bracing for her punishment. Yes, her punishment for trying to go home. To be a kid. To just help her friend. She would probably be able to warn Eric about this, but he was no cheater. He probably wouldn’t experience this.

  


[  **It’s**  ] over in a second. A single whack from his ruler and she’s thrust into a black, all-encompassing death. Her body disappears as soon as it’s attacked, and the deed is done. It was all so quick, and always..

  


Very satisfying.

The sodas restock themselves. The phone quiets, and the cheerful atmosphere is returned as he is forced to the front of the school once more by the ambivalent laws that controlled it.

To wait for the next. If there was one.

 

[ ](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/image/174205227888)

 

“…And then he proceeded to go at crazy speeds and was immediately upon me.” Emma shook her head. “So yeah. The whole quarter trick worked… But he caught me. The worst part of it all was that the soda didn’t work, Eric! That’s like. His biggest weakness.”  


 “I see.” Eric murmured. “Not sure what else we can do. He sees you ‘cheating’ and goes berzerk… Maybe answering that jumbled question really IS the only way out.”

 “Eric, we both know it’s impossible to solve that. You gotta be like, a _math god_ to even come close to solving it! Even if you say you unscrambled it, it’s still a big problem…” Emma trailed off.

 “Not sure what other options we have.” 

 That was Erics final reply, and then, nothingness, in the void.

* * *

Anonymous asked: Be careful with that ruler it might break

  


_“Don’t be silly! I don’t even use my ruler very much!”_

[ **It** ] would not break upon his hands, and he was bestowed with powers and a physical body unfazable to the normal properties of existence. If he in his all-powerful might, could not snap it no matter the force or speed, then nothing could.

Except potentially..  _One_.

But that’s unimportant. 

 

Anonymous asked: how can you hear if you have no ears

  


 

Anonymous asked: Chinken Nunget

  
  


_“Maybe tomorrow the cafeteria will have some for you to eat! I know-”_  static instead of a name,  _“cooks up some great food!”_

 

Anonymous asked: Eat paper u hecking weenie.

  


[  **By** ] the look on his typically-always-smiling face, he probably would if he had the chance. But that is lost to void and meaning, and nothing other than just doubt and suggestion at the moment.

 

Anonymous asked: welcome to mcdawnalds do you want a phucking beesechurger

  


_“I.”_

[  **Pause** ] .

_“I eat knowledge for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Haha! Thank you anyways!”_

 

[illiopfur](https://illiopfur.tumblr.com/) asked: Have you ever smelled the aroma of fresh chicken McNuggets

  


_“…”_

[  **There’s**  ] hesitation, but his mouth is open. Parsed and ready for speech, yet nothing leaves him as he stands there motionless. Like he’s considering what he has to say before he says it.

His pupils grow to take up even more of his eyes before shrinking back to their ‘normal’ size.

_“I. I heard there’s some really tasty candy bars in the cafeteria! Haha! Maybe you could go eat those after doing some maaath!”_

 

Anonymous asked: have YOU ever tried escaping the schoolhouse?

  


[  **…**  ]

The walls seem expectant, waiting for his answer. Watching his lack of movement and listening to lack of He was asked an important question, he was meant to give something. It just could not be a lie.

He doesn’t want to dance around the question as he usually did, as he was allowed to and greatly encouraged to by the school. Even now there’s a pull to beat around the bush and not answer.

His silence and expression was already telling enough. He need not say more than how long he took to respond.

 _“School gets out at-”_  his voice spilled static and noise instead of words,  _“you’ll be able to go home then! If you need a break or want to quit, press escape!”_

 

[weareallfandomtrash](https://weareallfandomtrash.tumblr.com/) asked: QUICK DO A T-POSE TO THREATEN THE CHILDREN

  


 

 

 

[therealricksanchezpleasestandup](http://therealricksanchezpleasestandup.tumblr.com/) asked: Yep, here strolls in the scientist, with his hands behind his back, taking in the shitty graphics. He doesn't even fail to notice the shitty q-tip head looking motherfucker at the center of the room initially.

  


[  **Well** ] , this q-tip head looking motherfucker notices the new student. So he’s going to recite what he always did whenever presented with a new one.

_“Oh hii! Welcome to my schoolhouse!”_

With an appropriate flail of his inhumanly long arm. His uncannyness was probably nothing to this new student, but it was still present regardless.

 

Anonymous asked: THIS SCHOOLHOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

  


_“Keep swearing and_ **your teeth will fall out!** ”

[  **His** ] voice stops its froggishness. Momentarily. It corrupts and crackles, but it sounds normal. Like a normal person, speaking in a serious tone and contrasting his happy, smiling face.

_“Haha!”_

It’s back.

 

Anonymous asked: “I wanna play with someone!” (Jumprxpe) (Lmao why do I make everything a side-blog)

  


[  **He** ] lets her pass by him. He doesn’t even so much as trail her with his eyes. She means nothing to him if a person of sinful idiocy is not within the halls. He has never entertained her in the past, and he will not start now.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you ever want to grow more hair

  


_“My nickname wouldn’t work if I had more!”_

 

Anonymous asked: Maybe to some the 3rd question looks impossible. However, if their is a being so smart they could probably answer it and not die.

  


_“…”_

[  **He** ] looks over the question again. Fully readable, fully understandable, fully comprehensible, clear and cut. It’s slightly more difficult, yes, but it’s still possible.

In his eyes and his alone did corruption flee.

 

[weareallfandomtrash](https://weareallfandomtrash.tumblr.com/) asked: how grating is that 10 second looping music

  


[  **You** ] would get used to it after twenty-two years too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special credits to Pastabaconnoodle for that horrible cursed image.


	3. 5/24 - 5/27

Anonymous asked: death match between Baldi and Sonic from sonic schoolhouse

  


“ _Hm!_ ”

[  **One** ] does not even joke about that sort of thing. It’s not funny. Not in the least. 

He is no ignorant, he is no fool. He is no idiot and his slate is free of sin. He does not joke about such things, he never will, nor will he even entertain the thought of the founder in such violent ways.

It’s not meant to be like this. 

 

Anonymous asked: you said tasty food is cooked by someone, but i don't see any food aside from BSoda and the candy bars?

  


_“That’s because it’s not lunch yet!”_

[  **And** ] it never will be.

 

Anonymous asked: teacher my stomach hurts can i go to the nurses’s office

  


_“If you need a break, press escape to pause!”_

[  **That’s**  ] a no, then.

 

Anonymous asked: Mr. Baldi! what would happen if two students shared answers??

  


_“You should never share answers on a test or assignments, but if you’re doing homework you should always try to get a second opinion before handing it in! It helps you and other students! Don’t copy other’s homework, though! You won’t learn from that.”_

[  **Cheating** ] was dealt with as swift as possible. Cheating, in his eyes, was the worst possible thing a student could ever partake in within their academic career. He had no tolerance for it. 

 

[holidaycheerisforweeebs](https://holidaycheerisforweeebs.tumblr.com/) asked: *Somehow a litter of puppies are set loose into the school, one of them runs up to baldi wagging its tail* pet it bitch

  


_“…”_

[  **He** ] does not comply with the command. The dog, upon touching his leg, is promptly encased in pain only matched by bodily mutilation. It pulls back, though, with only partial damage.

Half of the puppy’s body is in the same shape as the other occupants of this school. Flat, lowres, and terrible looking. Two dimensional and disfigured in such a way that made it so one could still tell it was a puppy, but it still was odd to the sight and terrible to witness.

It’s frightened barks were compressed.

 

Anonymous asked: Why do you hate your name “baldimore” so much sir?

  


“ **I don’t. Say it again.** ”

[  **Walls** ] that listened, walls that heard of what the stranger said. His name, his true name. They rattled with anger and duty for prevention, preventing whatever might come from one person saying his name again after he’s requested it.

His eyes are dilated and black once more, excited and waiting, hopeful. But it’s dashed within the seconds as incineration, same as the last, enacted itself upon the poor respectful stranger in a merciless flame-less burn.

Skin, muscle, bone, then dust. The entire process took seconds and they’d been turned to nothing. Incapable of fulfilling his desires.

Laws, laws. Laws broken and punishment served.

Unhappiness and emptiness followed as the dust burned away just as quickly as the rest of the stranger had. Like they weren’t even there in the first place.

He looks at the walls. 

Then back forward, to the entrance— and exit— of the school.

 

Anonymous asked: Let’s say in a perfect world, a student was able to answer the third question correctly. What would happen?

  


_“They would be able to explore the rest of the school and solve the other problems!”_

[  **Nothing** ] more, nothing less. At least, from what he seems to put out.

 

[teabutshort](https://teabutshort.tumblr.com/) asked: Yes math is fun to do but who needs it when we have science to learn

  


_“You can’t learn science if you don’t know any math first!”_

[  **Science** ] in all fields was based on math. Math was the root, science was the plant sprouted from it. Without math, there would be no science.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you wear anything else besides your green sweater, shirt thing?

  


[  **No** ] . No, he doesn’t. One wouldn’t change out of their clothes until the end of the school day. It’d be unprofessional just to strip and change. He’s worn this ever since the day started.

Twenty two years ago.

 

Anonymous asked: In your point of view, what is the perfect student that you would love to have

  


_“Do your homework every day and you might just get to be my faaaavorite student!”_

[  **A**  ] student with perfect grades. A student that can solve any problem, a student that is without improperness or fault. Impervious to sin and natural dirt of human nature. That is the student he would love to have. That he needs to have.

One that can achieve a one-hundred percent in math.

 

Anonymous asked: Love how Baldi is just “UwU” and “OwO” rn

  


uwu

owo

 

Anonymous asked: Writes the three correct answers to notebook 1, in Cyrillic.

  


[  **The** ] thinkpad cares not for language, it only cares about answers. That’s also all he cares about, pleased by the strangers display because of the results. All correct! Very impressive.

 

Anonymous asked: can i skip the second notebook?

  


_“Face problems head on rather than just skipping them, and remember to always do your homework!”_

[  **Not** ] that it really matters. All the other notebooks had the same sort of problems on them, and every other student got those wrong. It still brought out the same fury and anger.

Beating around the bush just prolongs the inevitable.

Even if he could change the rules, he wouldn’t.

 

Anonymous asked: How do you exactly discipline your students?

  


_“You don’t have to worry about thaat!”_

[  **Death** ] . That’s how they were disciplined. No if, buts, or any way to beat around the bush. In the simplest definition, it was death.

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi, are you married?

  


[  **He** ] just laughs.

 

> [multisushi](https://multisushi.tumblr.com/)  has entered the school.

[  **Twenty** ] . Twenty two, to be precise. Twenty. Two. Years. That’s how long he’d been here, that’s how long he’d been waiting, and that’s how long it’d been since he saw.. Him.

So imagine the taller’s surprise when he appeared infront of his eyes. The astonishment, bafflement and relief. You’d think one would hold wrath and a desire for vengeance, but after so long, he’d decided against it.

It wasn’t virtuous.

_“Founder!”_

He’d exclaimed and held his hands together, vibrating horizontally in both directions at a violent pace. 

Yes. The founder.

Sonic the hedgehog. There in all his fantastic, father than infinite glory, infront of his lesser. The only one more powerful than him and his hands; the hog. 

_“It’s been so loong! I’m so glad to see you! You’re here to see the school, aren’t you?”_

The walls hold silence.

 

>   
> 
> 
> _**“?!”** _
> 
>  You’d imagine the hedgehogs surprise to seeing the other vibrate in place. Where was he? He was just relaxing, when suddenly… He was here. School? Thoughts raced in his mind as he stood there. Founder? He looked around, as if checking if there was someone behind him that the other was referring to, but no.
> 
>  The other was speaking to him like he… Knew him. Like a good pal.  
>       Maybe… He was just a weird fan? Why was he calling him founder, then?
> 
>  “Uh.  _Yeah_.” Was his only reply at first, as his ears twitched. Something deep in his gut told him that this situation was wrong. That he shouldn’t be here. That he wasn’t the guy this guy was thinking of. But he didn’t know any other blue hedgehogs, so… Might as well.
> 
>   “W… What’s your name again?” Play it cool. Since it’s been so ‘loong’, this would probably be the normal question to ask.

[  **Dejection** ] . But he shouldn’t expect much. The founder had much more to worry about than just.. Him. He’d at least expected some sort of recognition, though, being the founder’s nature and knowledge.

… It’s an insult, isn’t it? Or perhaps a test to see if he’s changed? Adapted to life here? Well, Sonic, he will partake in your test just as easily as he’d handed them out to others.

Nickname rather than real is what he most likely wanted.

  
  


_“Baldi! It’s an honor to see you agaaain!! Really!”_

His excitement at what this could possibly mean overlaps any desire to be rude. So does logic. If the founder was here.. It could mean something. Something very good. He could prove himself, he could finally..

Yes. Yes he could, he would.

_“How about I show you aroound and we can talk? Just go grab the notepads, I won’t test you, hahaaaaa..!”_

He is no fool. He knows not to test someone like Sonic.

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi, please don't suck up Sonic. you can't copy his speed.

  


[  **He** ] would never dream of hurting the founder, for any reason whatsoever. Even if his immortal life depended on it, he would never try. He knew not to, as the founder could rend him limb from limb with the most soft of violent touches, and cast him into darkness unspeakable.

He was no idiot, nor did he have fear of the founder either. He would stay positive and optimistic as he put out, and garner respect as he should.

Maybe then the founder would consider being merciful to him.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you think something's affecting his memory? He's been away for a long time...

  


_“Always remember to do your homework!”_

[  **He** ] was not one of doubt. He was not one to assume imperfection in a perfect being. He knew this was no faulty memory, based on previous experience and pure logic. He was being tested, tested for any changes in behavior and any possible mistakes he could make whilst in the presence of his upper.

Time does not faze beings such as Sonic, nor does it faze creatures like him. They could pass one day in the span of years, or vice versa. Time is just another variable in an easily solvable math question to them, nothing else.

Chances are it’s only been mere minutes since their last visit, in terms of Sonic’s time used. But it’s been years upon years for him, in a place that never changed past the first hour.

It’s a test, and one he could not fail. He would not fail. He was perfect, just as the founder was.

 

* * *

 

>   
> 
> 
> _   “Baldi?”_
> 
>  He parroted, tilting his head. Sounded like something he would call Robotnik. For some reason, something  _screamed_  in his head, telling him to grab these notepads and run off, away from here… But that’s odd. That wasn’t like him. He rubbed the side of his head, awkwardly, before glancing at the doors behind the other. He approached one of the doors, opening it.
> 
>  “Uh… Are the students on break or something?” He noticed the lack of kids in the room. This was extremely awkward. Maybe some school made him the mascot and he was just. Never told. So that’s why he was being called the founder? He was kinda scared to ask, oddly enough. This… Weird lipped guy didn’t look threatening, just… Weird. He would grab the notepad, though.

  
  


_“There’s no students right now because you’re visiting, hahaa!”_

[  **Test** ] of his knowledge on the laws, hm? Well, he will answer aptly as he should. False confusion, obviously. 

The colorful book dissipated as soon as Sonic touches it, absence making the classroom it belonged in feel ever so slightly more empty. The grey walls and lack of people didn’t help either.

He awaits more questions, or for Sonic to go grab the other notebook so they could walk together.

 

>   
> 
> 
>    He… Guessed that made sense. Wouldn’t want a kid ruining the entire tour, he guessed… He perks up when the book just. Dissipates. Sonic is kinda thankful he doesn’t need to carry it everywhere, but the other is… Confused. This was odd, even for him. The hedgehog only gives Baldi a glance as he quickly ‘gets’ the next notebook.
> 
>   As he returns to Baldi, he glances at the ‘school rules’ poster, wondering what the heck a fourth wall was… But frowned when he saw the ‘no running’ rule. Come onnnn. He tapped his foot a bit, before shrugging.
> 
>   “So, uh.” He rubs his own nose. “You’re gonna show me the other classrooms and stuff?”

  
  


_“Yes, yes, and my friends, if they’re around!”_

[  **It’s**  ] mostly going to be a talk. A talk with someone who’s been outside, with someone worth talking to. Everyone else, he couldn’t care less about. But this was Sonic. The founder. He knew of things and thought of things that Baldi desired to know. One thing inparticular. But he won’t whip up that question just yet. He has waited for twenty or so years, he can wait a couple minutes.

_“Lets gooo!”  
_

He does not walk. He slides through the doors that lead further down the hall. He slides at a pace that can be kept up with a simple stroll, and could be passed through with a jog.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   “…”
> 
>  He would usually be cracking a few jokes or saying some sort of snarky remark right now, but the entire vibe of the environment, of this guy in particular… It kinda shut him up. The hedgehog watched as the other slid– Not walk. Sonic let out a small sigh. He thought this would be much funnier, being mistaken for a school founder, but it looked like this was going to be boring.
> 
>   “Sooooo, uh.” He places his hands behind his back, trying to look as formal as possible as he sped-walked, his lowest speed. “How well do you know me?” The question wasn’t why, but he did want to pry without giving himself away.

  
  


_“Haha, only as much as you’ve told me before I started teaching here!”_

[  **Teaching** ] was a generous word to describe this situation. But he’s being polite, like he should be. He must remain within the froggishness, show himself to be reasonable. He has to be. His fate depends on it. 

_“You told me about your school, and how many students and friends you have! It’s cooool how you beat Robotnik and teach at the same time! I could never do thaat!”_

He also told Baldi about both their natures, and how they existed. Why they existed, and the extent of both their power. How much lesser he was in comparison to the hog. For means of intimidation, no doubt.

_“You do so many great things every day! It’s amaazing!”_

Food to his ego. Hope to expand it, embellish him in honeyed words of praise.

 

>   
> 
> 
>    “I… Thanks.”
> 
>  That took him a while to process it. The fact that the other also knew about Robotnik was interesting, but… ‘Teach’ at the same time? He was no teacher. He knew that alternate universes existed, vaguely, thanks to that whole ‘modern sonic’ walking around, but… Was there a Sonic out there that was some sort of academic teacher?
> 
>  …That would be ridiculous. No way.
> 
>  He looks around to take in his surroundings, giving the other an awkward smile.
> 
>  “…Very clean.” Ughhh, he felt like an adult who was trying to suck up to someone, even though he had no idea what he was doing– Wait, that was EXACTLY what he was doing.

[  **Cleanliness** ] was controlled by one thing, one thing only. A nuisance, a problem. Well, a potential one. It was situational, but they were more often than not a thing he was not on good terms with.

_“Gotta Sweep does a greaaat job at keeping everything clean, doesn’t he? I’ll tell him you said he does a good job!”_

Whistling came from further down the hall, but he seemed to pay it no mind as they kept walking.

“ _What’s it been like for you lately? Adventures? Friends?_ ”

Talk like a normal person.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   Knowing that there were actually others here made him feel… A bit better about this situation. What kind of name was Gotta Sweep, anyways? Maybe it was just a nickname. Like Baldi. That really couldn’t be his ACTUAL name, or his. Parents or whatever must hate him. At the question, he shrugged.
> 
>   “It’s been fine.” He puts his hands behind his head. “The usual. Dealing with Robotnik, hanging out…” A pause. “Teaching math.”
> 
>  …He hadn’t really gone to school. Nobody he really knew did. From what he heard, math is dumb, so he’s kinda glad he doesn’t have to attend anything.

[  **Math** ] , god’s tool. What he taught, what he used. Of fact, of absolutes. True holiness was found in honesty, and it’s what the two had in common here.

_“Summer’s coming up soon, haha! Maybe then you’ll get less students and have more time to have adventures and relax!”_

The same couldn’t be said for him. He had school. All year. Every year. Every second. That’s the way it has been for a while now. But perhaps, this year, the year Sonic has visited..

_“Just a couple more daays, riiiight?”_

 

>   It sure was. Sonic was looking forward to just chilling on the beach, drinking some soda, and watching Tails probably goof around the water. He hated water, but he could tolerate the beach. At the others last question, Sonic looked up to him, an obvious look of confusion on his face.
> 
>   “Wh… What do you mean? Couple more days until  _what_?”
> 
> _Keep your cool, Sonic. Just ask questions and be cool._

  
  


_“..Until summer vacation? When normal schools gets out?”_

[  **What** ] else?? The confusion was strange and extremely convincing, as if it were almost real. But despite the act, he in all his knowledge knew it to be false. Though he didn’t know Sonic could be such a good actor, knowing his nature, he could be as good an actor or.. Well, anything he wanted.

_“I haven’t checked the calendar, haha.. Am I.. Mistaken?”_

No.

No, no, no.

Please, Sonic. Please, please tell him he’s not.

He can’t be. No. No. Not about this. Not like this. He can’t squander it like this. He can’t be wrong.

 

> _“Oooooh!_ ”
> 
>  He slaps his own head, chuckling extremely awkwardly. Well, yeah, it totally made sense. This was a school, this guy would obviously get a break, since he was a teacher. Summer vacation was a thing in schools, he knew that much.
> 
>   “Uhhhh no. You’re not mistaken, yeah. You’ll get a break. You are a teacher after all, aren’t you?”
> 
>  Sonic felt kinda bad, he didn’t know for sure. He didn’t even know the name of this school. But… Something began to eat away at him. Like he shouldn’t have said that. He was about to say something else–
> 
> ~~ʰᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵍᵉᵗᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵒᵘᵗ  
>  ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˡᶦᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᶦᵃʳ, ᵃˡᵗᵉʳⁿᵃᵗᵉ~~
> 
>  He turns around, as if he heard someone speak to him from behind. Nobody. 
> 
>  “…Did you hear that?” He murmured.

  
  


_“A break?”_

[  **He’s**  ] ignoring Sonic’s mumble. he’s focusing on something else. Something beautiful, wonderful, music to ears that didn’t exist. In all his hope, all his optimism, he was being rewarded. This is what he got for being a good teacher, for being smart, for being perfect, for being as god-like as he was born to be!

His eyes are dilated. Extremely so. His excitement knows infinite bounds and runs through his mind with more feverish thoughts than anger would ever bestow upon him.

_“A vacation? I’ll be able to have a break? You mean that, really? I-”_

He’s obviously flustered and excited, as unnerving as the display of happiness through facial expression and jittering was. He showed it in his own way then promptly tried to calm himself. He had to be presentable, and in the rush he’d asked questions. Like he were doubtful.

 **“Please think nothing of my questioning, I’m just excited.** _Thank you very much!_ ”

A split of two voices, one that wasn’t terrible to the ears and one that was.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   He takes … A step back when his eyes become dilated. He liked vacation like anyone else, but… Wow, this guy was excited. His brows raise when the others change of voice. Part of him wanted to feel bad for the guy, but  _something_ … Was making him  **unable** to feel sympathy for him.  _Odd_. 
> 
>  “I… You’re welcome.” Sonic takes a moment to absorb his surroundings again. “W… When was your last break, again?”
> 
> ~~ᴺᴱⱽᴱᴿ. ᴺᴱⱽᴱᴿ  
>  ʰᵉ ᶦˢ ᵐʸ ᵒⁿᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵐᶦˢᵗᵃᵏᵉ  
>  ʰᵉ ᵐᵘˢᵗ ᵇᵉ ᵖᵘⁿᶦˢʰᵉᵈ~~

  
  


_“October seventeenth, nineteen-ninety six.”_

[  **More** ] test of memory? Well, Sonic, he’s never forgotten the day. He will never forget the day, he knows his memory infallible. Even if it were a hint of mortal memory, no doubt he’d memorize the date out of pure bitterness and hatred, branding it into his mind.

“ _Seven thousand, eight hundred ninety-one days ago. My memory’s pretty great, haha!_ ”

He hears not what whispers to Sonic. How could he, he has no ears! Haha, funny.

 

>   
> 
> 
> _“…Ah.”_
> 
>  Well no wonder this guy looked like a  **demented toothpick** , he had been stuck here for… That long. He knew there was probably something… Supernatural about the other, but… Wow. Sonic sighed. This guy couldn’t be… /That/ bad, right? He didn’t have any demon horns or demonic– Ok, his eyes were starting to freak him out, but he just looked like. An odd looking fellow, that’s all.
> 
>   “I. Uh. Hm. Yeah. You should be getting out soon. And by soon, I mean a very close soon.”
> 
>  He didn’t want to get on this guys bad side.

  
  


[  **That** ] does nothing to slow his excitement. Soon. Very close soon. Soon. Very, very soon. To have Sonic say this to him, the founder, he knew he was worthy. He knew he was to be let out, and he would be permitted to as well. Finally. Finally, all his years had paid off. His good behavior, his perfection, his dog-like grovelling and yielding. 

The leash around his neck that was this place was finally untightening thanks to the owner slackening their grip around it. He would no longer choke and asphyxiate. 

_“Thank you!!”_

He would shake Sonic’s hand, but he doesn’t want to touch him. He would be sundered from the very touch if he did. He’d prefer if that didn’t happen.

_“You have no idea how grateful I am, founder!”_

 

>   
> 
> 
>   He could understand the others excitement. He didn’t like the idea of being trapped in one place, either. It was boring, and very grating, to an extent. Surely this guy couldn’t be so dangerous to contain. He wasn’t some giant robot powered by chaos emeralds or anything. Sonic crossed his arms and sighed.
> 
>  “Well, I’m glad you’re glad.” Still felt bad that this was a lie. Give him this – It wasn’t his fault he was suddenly teleported or whatever here. “I donno what happened, but… Sorry for not being able to give you a break or such. I must’ve been too busy or something. Sorry.”

[  **If**  ] he were a lesser being, he probably would’ve cried at those last words. Would’ve made him emotional. But he’s not lesser, so he’s just happy. His eyes manage to constrict to something more reasonable.

Still looked fish-like.

  
  


_“I know you’re busy with everything on your plate, it’s fine! I don’t mind! Hahaaa!”_

Why did it have to take so long? Why? Why couldn’t it have been years earlier? Well, he’ll have his break soon. He’ll finally have it. Finally. Soon. Very soon. Sonic says.

_“That’s not a mistake, after all!”_

He knows Sonic incapable of such mortal things. He finds the apology.. Odd. But its been years. Maybe Sonic had changed, just as he had. He was not one to assume, and he would not. Not with Sonic.

_“You have other, more important things to do, right? You’ll just have to collect the other notebooks and it’ll let you out!”_

He knew Sonic already knew that. He hopes it doesn’t come off as though he’s doubting the hog’s knowledge.

 

>   
> 
> 
>    “…Yeah.”
> 
>  There was this feeling in his gut that was eating away at him. Was it the school’s atmosphere, or something else? Had he… Done something in the past? No, he never ran a school, he had never met Baldi before. If he ever met this ‘Sonic’… He’d give him a stern talking to. Maybe Robotnik made a ‘teacher sonic bot’ when he wasn’t looking.
> 
>   **Who knew anymore.**
> 
>   “Well, uh. It was nice to see you… Again, Baldi.” He places his gloved hands together. “B-But you’re right, I’ll be on my way. Bye.”
> 
>  With that, he was gone. He ran, despite the rules on the wall telling him not to. Just run around, grab the notebooks, and leave this _awkward_  situation.

[  **In** ] the distance, as Sonic rushed about and away, Baldi waved. Then he retrieved his ruler from his aether and went to go find that principal. Just in case the guy tried to do anything stupid. He’d need harsh punishment if he even so much as thought as to try and stop the founder of this school from running in it.

  
  


See you, Sonic.

See you again in the vacation you promised.

* * *

[  **Strange** ] . A feeling of.. Power. No, not power, enthusiasm-powered energy. He’d felt it before, but not like this. Like people were cheering him on, cheering him for his attempts and his goals. It was empowering. Fufilling.

The walls sat in their anger and toxic watch.

Summer is upon them in days. The walls will silence their rage and calm their strict eye soon enough.

* * *

 

 

Anonymous asked: Sssso, that founder huh? You wouldn't happen to be willing to share your history with him, would you? Seems kinda strange, but I'd like to learn more about him from your viewpoint

  


_“The two founders made this school, haha! They’re both reaaallly great people! Maybe if you’re a good student, you’ll be able to meet them one day!”_

[  **Best** ] not speak ill of people who could be listening.

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi, why do you laugh like... /That/.

  


[  **He** ] laughs. Like that.

Terrible.

 

Anonymous asked: 1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

  


 

Anonymous asked: Just monkia

  


 

Anonymous asked: Do you have any cute rulers? Like transparent ones or ones with glitter?

  


_“If you have any, feel free to use theemmm!”_

[  **No** ] .

 

Anonymous asked: How would you feel if the Principal refered to you as— *looks back and forth before leaning in* our actual name?

  
  


“ **No one can to the point that I want. I wish he could. Or anyone could. I just need-** ”

[  **The** ] walls shift and focus on him, and his eyes constrict back to their regular fish-eyed size again. Wouldn’t want anything interesting spoken, now would we? No, no we wouldn’t. They recognize his simmering down and his return back to his ‘regular’ voice and calm as well.

_“He sure doesn’t like it when people run in his halls, haha!”_

 

Anonymous asked: How old are you?

  


_“I’ve been teaching for a looong time! Stay in school and you could become a teacher one day tooo! Haha!”_

 

Anonymous asked: You have quite the thighs gap, mr baldi

  


“…”

[  **Is** ] that meant to be a compliment or.. Like, what?

 

Anonymous asked: ...Is sonic your dad or something? The hell?

  


_“…”_

[  **…**  ]

 

Anonymous asked: I don't mean to sound prying, but what do you plan on doing for summer vacation anyway, Mr. Baldi? Are you gonna go to the beach? I hear that's popular these days.

  


“ **Eat.** ”

[  **Eat** ] as much as he could.

The walls shifted, unhappy.

 

Anonymous asked: Oh. Well now that I think about it, being stuck in the school with a cafeteria of questionable status, I guess I would be unbelievably famished too. I'd probably focus on ordering as much pizza as I could the instant I was let out if I was in a similar position. It'd make the inevitable stomach ache the next morning worth it I think

  


“ _Haaha! Interesting!_ ”

[  **He** ] will eat. He will eat all he desires and more. He will eat until his form buldges and swells from physical matter, and he will no longer eat the tasteless food of gods he’d grown accustomed to.

He wanted physical. He wanted something touchable, feasible, and he wanted to consume it. This place and none of that. He could eat nothing here, nothing except knowledge, which what had kept his hunger from tearing his mind asunder for all these years.

Soon, he’ll be out upon the world like a wolf upon deer. He will rip and shred it for all its meat and fatty worth.

 

[noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) asked: "Hahah, what are you gonna eat? Rocks?" EMMA NO.

  


_“…”_

[  **His** ] eyes said yes.

 

Anonymous asked: starving the beast, at the very least, will only increase its hunger. so go ahead and starve him dead, it will only make him stronger

  


[  **This** ] stranger’s got the right idea.

 

Anonymous asked: So...you sad there are two founders right?...if sonic is one of them the who’s the other?

  


_“They’re both great people! Maybe if you’re a good student you’ll get to meet one of them one day! Haha!”_

[  **Man** ] . One of them. Simple of flesh and bone, finite in their truths or lies; man.

 

[lctsply](https://lctsply.tumblr.com/) asked: Arts & Crafters stared. they stared & started from afar, watching the teacher with the ruler from over yonder this hall. they felt compelled, not shy or intimidated. they moved forward, not slink past the hall besides. [wh00shsock]

  


[  **Does** ] this sock expect anything out of this encounter? Because they receive nothing but a blank bit of eye when they move directly infront of him. Nothing else. His eyes are not meant for the sock, they are meant for future students. 

If they’d been locked on this miserable creature and shown any sort of emotion, it would’ve meant nothing good for it. 

Move along before you incite the wrath of something razing and horrid.

 

[glitchedformat](https://glitchedformat.tumblr.com/) asked: "Uhh... I think I'm a little too old to be going back to school..."

  


_“You’re never to old for schooooool!”_

[  **Never** ] . No age was taken into consideration here, it was seen as lesser than the desire for education. No matter the person’s form or of temporary ‘age’, they were all accepted.

Infinite cares not for such smaller things like ‘time’.

 

Anonymous asked: You would not be able to live without your students. Discipline them all you want, you'll wish you'd treat them better when they no longer come. And you're trapped forever. That time will come. Sooner or later.

  


_“…”_

[ **It’d**  ] only been two months since he’d begun getting students once more. Two months out of two hundred and fifty-nine. All that time, he’d spent waiting. Waiting in silence, in optimism and hope only for him to receive any sort of answers twenty two years later.

It’d occurred to him that the students could stop. Multiple times, this thought of all this teasing freedom would be replaced by pure, hard fact and absolute, uninterruptible silence for who knows how long. Again.

But students mean nothing to him if they fail, even once. In violent sin and uselessness they were, and he was a god-like creature. He needed no company. He cared not for people or their ways, nor did he require anything more than sustenance to be healthy both in mind and body.

But the idea of students ripped from him, his noticeably very,  _very_ slim chance hope from him.. That was not one he wished.

He did not wish that at all.

But he was stuck. Stuck between his values, the laws, and logic. All of them refused to move and let him out in a way most sensible.

He would keep hope. 

As well as his violence.

 

Anonymous asked: Have you considered wearing blue? May need to dodge some baseballs, though...

  


“Haha, maybe I should!”

[  **He** ] won’t. He likes green. It’s a good color, one of vitality and the same hue of correctness. It’s nothing less than perfect for him.

He also doesn’t want to copy the founder. That’d be rude.

 

Anonymous asked: baldi, you're probably going to miss being in the school. you've been accustomed to this world for many years, and when you leave, you'll be frightened and confused because you can't handle change

  


_“Stay in school!”_

[  **Fear** ] implied he was more man than god. More animal than holy, more capable of being humanized. He refused to let that happen. He refused fear, and he refused confusion. He’d been here for a while, but he is not bound to forms of time. He’ll understand wherever he is released, no matter where, no matter when.

Because he is godly, because he is knowing and worthy. Because he’s worthy. Because the founder believes him so, of freedom protected and secured  _outside_ these walls.

He would have no fear. He would have no hesitance. He would not be lesser, he would not squander. He would not show imperfection, nor would he show flaw. As a god, he was not meant to. He’d waited this long, he’d changed enough.

He was no man. He was no bastard or spawn of mistake and wrong.

He was deserving now. 

He would claim his freedom with trembling hands of greed and powerful possession, when it showed its face to him. A prediction from the founder would never be wrong.

 

Anonymous asked: You said you were going to eat once you got out, correct? I hope you enjoy that meal Baldi. I hope every fatty bite, every shove of food is satisfying to you. Be greedy Baldi, you’ll enjoy what they have to offer.

  


_“Thank you! Haha!”_

[  **Greed** ] . Was it not called gluttony? Ah, well, they were linked in a sense. Greed of food rather than money. He’s sure that even the ground beneath his feet, the very minimum of what an earth had to offer, would be more than euphoric to his starved carcass of a body.

 

Anonymous asked: baldi, do you take constructive criticism?

  


[  **Not** ] on school days, he doesn’t.

 

Anonymous asked: (con. crit. anon) good, because i'm gonna offer it anyways. if you truly claim this to be an environment for learning, then you shouldn't get angry at students for making mistakes. after all, if a student makes no mistakes, then it shows that they already know what you're trying to teach them; no true learning is being done- a waste of everyone's time, right? on the other hand, a mistake doesn't show fault in the student, but an opportunity to improve, a conduit for learning. (pt 1)

  
  


_“Woooowww! I bet you get high English grades, haha!”_

[  **This** ] is no place for learning. This is a place for answers and facts. It was some venomous snake with just one different color from one without, and confusing the two was a mistake proven fatal. That’s why this constructive criticism of his actions didn’t insult or effect him in any which way— even if they did, he was smart enough not to show it.

He never claimed himself to be a good teacher, he just was one. A smart one. One that knew of many, one that was not particularly of this realm or dimension of consciousnesses. His morals were horrid, who knows where he got them or his logic from. 

It was more than apparent he cared not for actual learning, but only truly valued correct answers. Nothing would be able to change his mind after twenty long years of sitting and stewing with no outside opinions. Everything in here was an echo-chamber; no one else here would dare take the chance to make him angry with questions like that.

Stuck in his ideology-justified violence, refusing to listen to logic out of literal insanity.

 

[cxsmicjester](https://cxsmicjester.tumblr.com/post/174197877015/bxsiceducxtionwhere-the-hell-was-heis-thisis):

> Where the hell was he?
> 
> Is this..Is this some kind of weird ass school?
> 
> Marx have NO idea how he ended up in this kind of weird place. While most people would probably be creeped out at the situation the jester was rather annoyed by it. After all he was hungry and he gets very agitated when he have nothing to eat.
> 
> Might as well look around this place. Maybe he could find something to eat and a way out.

[  **You’ve**  ] come to the wrong place for reasonable, edible food, Marx. Nothing here is edible. But alas, things are best learnt when presented in action, aren’t they? One can’t learn to not poke a bear without doing it first.

And there’s the bear himself, happily ‘waving’ his arm at the orb like it were some gesture. Funnily enough, he was not much larger than the grape; the eyelevel with this man being around up to his chest.

_“A new transfer student! Welcome to my schoolhouse!”_

His voice is grating on the nerves, but he knows of this place. Best to tolerate him as he tolerates others.

> What the hell was that thing?
> 
> What was wrong with his face and his neck? Why does he have clown lips? Why was he shaped like a q-tip? And his voice.. His voice did not help at all it sounded like broken audio.
> 
> As far as Marx was concerned this was not a person, this was a thing.
> 
> { ♠ } “ Oh my NOVA. The gods left you unfinished.”Marx squinted at him when he called him a ‘transfer student’.
> 
> { ♠ } “ And what do you mean transfer student? I don’t go to school.”

[  **He** ] could say the same for Marx. This was not a person, this was a talking grape with obstacles superglued to his body. But he wouldn’t say that. Not out loud, anyways. He’ll say it to himself internally as many times as he well pleases.

Such blunt observations this grape made.

  
  


_“You’re never too old to go to school!”_

You’re going to school now, bitch.

 

[beep-0-and-friends](https://beep-0-and-friends.tumblr.com/) asked: "Please tell me is this fucked up problem gonna be on the test" Spawny said as he bit his pencil

  


[  **Silly** ] rabbit. This is the test.

You’re not getting any answers, nor help. You’re on your own.

 

Anonymous asked: Why use a ruler when you can use a belt? They probably hurt more

  


_“You don’t have to worry about that! Do your homework!”_

[  **Rulers** ] were for teachers. Belts were for parents. He was no parent,— he never would be out of choice and bitterness,— he would use no belt. He preferred the ruler greatly for it’s sturdiness, whilst belts flip-flopped all over the place and what not.

Both of the objects brought fear. Both of them, in his hands, could kill. It was just a matter of which he favored. 

 

Anonymous asked: here, have an apple. yes, it's a real apple. that's what students give to their favorite teachers, right? here. take it. (it's not one of those nasty red """delicious""" apples either, it's a fuji)

  


_“…”_

[  **He’s**  ] unsure. Greatly unsure. The founder himself had come by and told him that his release would be soon. Yet, it hadn’t come as of right now. Now he’s being offered food. Real food. From outside.

He’d rejected food last time it’d been put infront of him. The amount of restraint used even shocked him. Now that he knows he’ll be let out, he’s stuck between a choice. To take the fruit or to not. 

Eating was forbidden here, for him. He couldn’t eat anything except facts and knowledge, and it’d left him ravenously hungry. 

He wanted to take the apple. He absolutely does. So much to the point where his eyes shift from their straight forward dead stare to actually look at the thing. That makes his temptation all the worse, actually looking at it.

Then he forces his gaze back up, assuring himself.

_“Haha, h. No thank you! I eat knowledge for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!”_

He’s not going to take it. He doesn’t want to risk that. He wants to continue to prove his worth and change. Because the walls still watch, and they still listen, and they will continue to until he’s out of here.

 

Anonymous asked: are you fucking gay

  


[  **No** ] . He has no time for such things. He is nothing in romance, nor in procreation. He is godly, he is a creature of higher caliber than man, and has no need for anything like that because of his nature of infinity.

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi is a hecking virgin guys

  


[  **Who** ] could have ever seen this coming. A guy who looks like this? A virgin? Really out there, huh.

 

[teabutshort](https://teabutshort.tumblr.com/) asked: Lmao but does he even have any genitalia

  


[  **no** ] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi is secretly a ball of a code.

  


“…”

[  **Code** ] was in computers. He was not of blood, nor bone, but he knew he wasn’t some computer program. He was no fictitious entity, he was no creation of someone in that sense. 

He was absolutely sure of that. If he were made of math itself, if he were to absolutely contain nothing but numbers, he would’ve been much more powerful. He probably would’ve broken out of here rather than remaining in.

He’s pretty sure, anyways.

 

Anonymous asked: He’s fuckable if you’re not a pussy.

  


 

[smileimi](https://smileimi.tumblr.com/) asked: [yOU'RE A NOODLE MAN](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174308709738/slurping-noises)??? WOOW can i pls have some noodles

  


[  **why** ] does this pink furry think he got noodles. just because he’s got the anatomy of one doesn’t mean he can just poof em out of thin air, gee wiz.

 

So the ‘Noodle-man’(Baldi) just called me ‘Furry’. 

You know what, I’m not shocked. 

 

 

 

> [principalofthevoid](https://principalofthevoid.tumblr.com/)  **is in trouble.**

[  **There** ] was nothing that incited his wrath more than cheating. Help from an outside source, whatever it may be. Broken laws of physics, using things in ways most dishonorable, anything that encompassed something being twisted for one’s own gain at the cost of someone else made him truly boil.

So imagine his anger when someone from within the school helped a student cheat. Helped a student escape from him, escape from vice and escape from their due punishments. Now the perpetrator had nowhere to go. They were just as stuck as he was, and another student was let loose upon an ever dirty, wrong world.

It’d been hidden, but nothing escapes his hearing. Nothing.

It’s not funny, nor is it acceptable whatsoever in his eyes. This criminal, this man against him, he had nowhere to run. Neither of them did. They were both caged animals, and he was the one with the sharper teeth and hardened flesh, whilst the other bared nothing but supple, tender skin for him to tear. 

“ **Why do you invite agony on yourself?** ”

His voice crackles with absent electricity, and the tone is dangerous. The lack of his normal voice as well as smile told a ten-thousand word story just with their appearance. 

The walls found excitement, anticipation, because it was like watching two monsters ripping eachother apart. There was something sad but horribly entertaining.

There is no escaping him. There is no outrunning him. Take punishment as it comes, and take the wrath stored for the escapee, since the other was so willing to take time to help them leave. 

“ **Do you like being in pain?** ”

 

> Words clogged up the Principal’s throat as he stood in front of the persecutor. He knew what he did. He knew what it would’ve costed him. He knew how angry he would get. So why did he go ahead and do it? Why risk such a horrible punishment just for one student? Because he wanted to leave just as badly as they did. 

> “Y-You don’t understand—“ Still stumbling over frantic thoughts, his mouth finally opened for an explanation. “They just needed help. It was an innocent mistake.” He tried to dance around his true intention, what he  _actually_  wanted. A sickening pit of dread grew in his stomach.
> 
> He knew the walls were watching. He had to be careful with his words. His actions. Everything.

“ **Consciously making a decision to cheat is no innocent mistake.** ”

[  **Seems** ] his rage is focused on one thing, and one thing only. Mind not that the student got six questions wrong, what he cared about was the filthy wretch standing infront of him. Accomplice of sin, accomplice of dirt, inciter of a god’s holy and merciless wrath.

The strongest in this place, with angered void-eyes, staring down his lesser with nothing other than what one would expect of him. He is angry, with the only chance to talk like a normal person. He happily took it to use for words of frightening hatred and imminent violence.

“ **I understand that better than you do. Just like how I understand this situation better than you do. I’ll make you wish death could take you, for what you have done against me.** ”

How swift a weapon can turn from one side to the other. But let’s be realistic, the principal here was never on the ‘safe’ side of this ruler. No one was except for its wielder. 

 

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: Looks like the double-cross happened after all.

  


[  **Don’t**  ] .

 

* * *

 

 

> The sickening feeling grew inside of his stomach, as he knew what was coming. Behind the black, vacant plots in his head that he called eyes, held unspoken fear. But also…resistance. 

  
  


> “B-But—isn’t a teacher’s job to HELP students with their work?! I don’t e-exactly see YOU doing that!” His voice cracked as he sputtered out a sentence.
> 
>  **Emotion**. Something the Principal was blessed with. Cursed with. He couldn’t help but feel compassion for these poor little souls who wandered the halls. It made him sick to feel emotion. It truly did.
> 
> That didn’t mean he didn’t want to help.
> 
> After all, he craved the same thing they wanted.
> 
>  **Freedom**.

  
  


“ **You’re an idiot.** ”

[  **No** ] other if, ands or buts about it. In his eyes, that was the worst thing to be called. Worse than a murderer, worse than any insult. Idiocy, willingly, was a crime punishable with the highest caliber of pain.

Luckily for the principal, he was more than capable of such things. No having to worry about where to find the nearest torture device. He had the worst one in his hands. Lucky him!

And for his moronic action, his action against freedom, there’s a lashing. A raise of ruler and a brought down one.

Don’t move. Maybe it’ll be over faster if one doesn’t fight back against it.

 

> Principal could clearly see Baldi was getting sick of his excuses. The smacks of the ruler were a familiar sound to him, one that made him scared. Such a pitiful creature of emotion had had enough of this wretched place, and he was willing to at least try and escape it. 

> “Hm. Fine. Do what you must, it won’t get you any closer to getting out of here.”
> 
> Principal knew what Baldi’s ideas were. Wanting to be free is sin, wanting to be pure. For himself, for the founder. But he knew that eventually, he had to break.
> 
> Everyone has a breaking point.

[  **It’ll**  ] teach this man. Teach the principal not to try this again. It’ll bring him closer to salvation, to freedom, if the other knows his place amongst the other cretins here.

He will not break. The day he does, the ruler does— it’ll never happen. For of all things, this was one impossible to destroy with such mere hands. Not even his own could snap it.

It is the same will his will, and his brain. Nothing will break him.

But he will break others as much as he so pleased, and leave them in pieces to reform themselves to things more suitable for this school. More suitable to help him, less willing to help those wrong.

So he strikes, swift and burning, across the other’s form with a mighty lash. The force of broken bones, of shattered spines; that’s what it contained and more. 

But by powers invisible, all the kinetic energy was not used to send this ‘superior’ of his flying backwards, instead something kept him still. It had to go somewhere, so it kept within the body and created a mighty whiplash of pain.

Fatal to students. Never to staff.

 

> A pang of pain. Too strong for his form to handle. Unlike Baldi, he was cursed with feelings. Both emotional  **and**  physical. 

  
  


> The smell of sulfur and metal started filling the air, inky black tar spilling onto his plain sweater, and down his cheeks.
> 
> He knew this was coming. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to fight back. All he had to do was sit back and take it.
> 
> At least he saved  **someone**  from this hell hole.

[  **Altruism** ] , what a thing that was. Responsible for all of this, was it not? If only this fellow weren’t so compassionate and generous with his help, this would’ve never happened. Alas. That’s not the case.

Five more lashes, each one just as horrible came from him and landed perfect upon the other’s body. The teacher cared not for the ‘blood’ or damage he was doing, only the fact that he was doing it, and causing the other curdling pain.

The thwacks resounded through the school, overshadowing any sort of music or pseudo sense of safety. He was here, there was no safety to be had for those who crossed him.

  
  


_“Wooow!”_  He smiled and put his (somehow) unstained ruler back to a normal position after he finished, _“Hope I taught you something valuable, haha!”_

Wow. Real jokester this guy was, huh. He’s even back in his ‘teacher’ voice; the one that sounded nauseous on the ear.

 

> Pain. Indescribable pain. Enough to drive someone crazy. And with that teasing, taunting friendly voice, it made it worse. He didn’t care about the child he saved. He didn’t care if he was being “a good person”. All he wanted to do was… 
> 
>  
> 
> “Ą̵̘̗͚̫̰͎̫̦̋̇̊͒͐͘Ȧ̵̡͙̮̗͔͕͔̱͙̉̾̔͒̊̑A̶̮̪̱̳̝̹̯̞͗̑͂̉̓̆͑͗͝͝ͅÄ̸̧͇͈̱͙̼̮̬͖́̃͛̔̂͜͝I̴̞̽̉̒̓͗̃͛́̈́͘ͅI̶̧̦̤͓͖͕͈͕̞͙̐̿́͂E̵̱͓͖͉͔͌̓̔Ë̸̢̩͇̣̝̻́̃͛E̵̛͕͈̍̒̽̂̅̿͆̌͌͒͜ͅE̴̻͗̋͠!!!”
> 
> Scream. All he could do was scream in agony, almost pleading for him to stop. Black ooze dropped off his face, his form getting weaker by the second. He was falling apart.
> 
>  **Literally**.
> 
> “A-ah…I hope you’re satisfied with yourself.”

  
  


_“And I hope you had a great time! Seeeee you!”_

[  **As** ] if he’d care about the wounds inflicted or the noises made. As if he’d care for someone who’d crossed him. Make your bed then die in it, honestly. Don’t complain about the sheets or the mattress when you buy it all with your karma.

He’d give him one more slap, but honestly he wasn’t that unjust. He was angry, yes, but he’d given this pitiful blob his dues and that was all. He need not torture him any more, or any less.

Without moving his legs, he moves from the room in a backwards slide, then out into the hallways. 

Have fun by yourself, principal. Keep doing that sort of stuff and it’s going to be a long, painful imprisonment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's something to consider.](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174275862638/what-is-your-tragic-flaw-you-got-greed)


	4. 5/27 - 5/31

[wh00shsock](https://wh00shsock.tumblr.com/post/174310688441/lets-try-not-to-stay-clear-from-the-math-man-w)

> **t** hey have  _seen_  the  **madness**  occur from afar. they watch  **& &** wait, hidden behind one potted shrub at one end of the hall. they watched the  _math wizard_ , moving stockily as he does from his  _encounter_  with the principal of this place. he was moving  _angrily_  down in  **this direction**.
> 
>  **t** hey hope Baldi  **won’t**  vent off that  _steam_  on their felt bodies.

[  **He** ] hears everything. He hears the slight movement of plant, and he’s also not blind. He can literally see this sock with eyes from behind the plant because of how huge it is.

Perhaps his anger showed his his furrow, or perhaps in the menacing, almost sinister glare he had. Maybe it was the ruler which he still carried, just held as he skid through the halls.

_Truly_ menacing.

But as he approached, he stopped infront of the sock and stared ahead at the hall rather than down at them. He let his eyebrows relax and he took on a much less frightening emotion.

One of a smile. His regular.

_“I hope you heard what the principal had to say! He’s a reaaally important guy, you should listen to him!”_

With that, he moved on.

What a character.

 

Anonymous asked: would you rather feel pain or nothing at all?

  


[  **He** ] already lived in the second. Why would he ever choose the mortal one?

 

Anonymous asked: i hope you choke on an apple and have it stuck in your throat for the rest of your existence

  


[  **Wow** ] ! Geeez! That’s pretty mean! Where ever could that have come from? It’s not like he’s done anything different lately.

 

[cuniculia](https://cuniculia.tumblr.com/) asked: what is algebra is it a fruit

  


[  **you** ] have no idea how much he wishes that was the case, rabbit furry.

 

[cuniculia](https://cuniculia.tumblr.com/) asked: a delicious slice of algebra-rhubarb pie

  


[  **what** ] he wouldn’t give for some πright about now

 

[smileimi](https://smileimi.tumblr.com/) asked: why do you have to carry a ruler around?

  


_“You don’t have to worry about that! Haha! Do your homework!”_

[  **Why** ] , it’s his weapon of choice, of course! A soldier wouldn’t go out to the battlefield without their guns, now would they? So why should he depart to the field of war without something to use against those marked as enemies?

He needed something to use, after all. He wasn’t going to go around punching people to death like a neanderthal.

 

Anonymous asked: Someone will stop you. You can't keep going like this.

  


[  **Scorn** ] him for his ways, will you.

But he will  _not_ move from them.

This is his path. 

He will not stray.

 

[cuniculia](https://cuniculia.tumblr.com/) asked: sir, this math question is not a question, but is in fact ancient runes i think

  


_“…”_

[  **Wrong** ] and impossible. Math is just numbers. This question is just like the rest. There’s nothing wrong with it.

 

[rockinxbeauty](https://rockinxbeauty.tumblr.com/) asked: "Do they...offer any music classes in this school...?"

  


_“Music class is aaafter-”_ static, _“! You’ll need to do seven of my quizzes before the bell riiiings! I hear-”_ static instead of a name, _“plays some greaaat recorder! Haha!”_

[  **Ah** ] , the promise of the class after this. So far, so impossible. Forever stuck within one subject; his own. No music class would come. But recess would. 

It was promised. It was told to him by one smarter than he. It would happen. It would.

Soon enough.

 

Anonymous asked: Hey baldi what if I don't want to exist?

  


_“…”_

[  **Geez** ] , what’s with kids nowadays? First it’s attempts at offing oneself now it’s just attempting to gain nonexistence by themself? Death, self-caused? What’s wrong with all these students?

Have things really gotten this bad? This sort of talk isn’t very. Proper for a school like this, is it? It shouldn’t be!

 

Anonymous asked: The human world, and everything on it, is imperfect by nature.

  


[  **He** ] knows this. Humans, mortals, whatever else, everything is automatically dirty. Automatically of worthlessness and condemned to death, by either him, their own sin, or the forces of time.

Is it foolishly optimistic of him to believe one can break through their nature to be something more than it? To not be restrained by the confines of what being born entails?

He doesn’t think so. He’s just positive. There is no sin in putting one’s trusting faith and hope in another.

 

Anonymous asked: There is no such thing as absolute perfection. What is perfect to one being is terrible to another. True 'perfection' is just a story plot device. Sometimes necessary, old, and used faaaar too much. Trust me, when I say, if you try to make a 'perfect universe's, you. Will. Be. Stopped. Now move on like a used q-tip and hop into the garbage

  


[  **Perfection** ] is a one-hundred percent on his tests. That’s what perfection is. He only needs it once. He just needs one, singular virtuous person to come through here and not get a single thing wrong.

He wants no perfect universe. He wants no ‘true perfection’, he just wants one, singular perfect test score. If he can’t have it, then he’ll discipline his students,  cast them into the abyss, yes. But if he can, he won’t have to bother with tests or any of this anymore.

It shouldn’t be this morally questionable.

Besides.

Even if he did want a perfect universe, he knows he wouldn’t be able to be stopped anyways. Be happy that he doesn’t.

 

Anonymous asked: jesus christ Baldi, you really taught Principal a lesson. Are you sure you had to lay into him like that? I don’t think the founder would be proud of your actions.

  


_“That’s what we call a opinion! They can be misinformed, so watch ooout! Haahaa!”_

[  **Was** ] it cruel of him to bring about justice for cheaters? Or was it more cruel for everyone else to leave the principal broken in that room, without support or even a slight bit of notice?

Was it more cruel for a being lacking empathy to do things that lacked any slight bit of care, or beings with empathy to do the same?

 

[galaxyknifu](https://galaxyknifu.tumblr.com/) asked: hey baldi don’t you think what ur doing is a bit illegal

  


“…”

[  **He** ] hasn’t broken any laws of this schoolhouse other than talking like a normal person on occasion, and he usually amends that. He hasn’t done anything explictly illegal or against those laws. Not like he really could if he wanted to, most of them being things like ‘don’t eat the furniture’ despite the fact that  _everything_ here is inedible.

 

[weareallfandomtrash](https://weareallfandomtrash.tumblr.com/) asked: yknow baldi maybe the founder doesn't let you out because youre a big meanie >:////

  


_“That’s an opinion. They can be misinformed. Watch out.”_

[  **He’s**  ] more firm this time. What do these people know of the founder? What do they know of the founder’s ways and rules? What do they know of him, or either of them? They know nothing about either.

Nothing about him, nothing about the founder, and certainly not their relationship either. Quite honestly, this attempt at insulting him pulled a cord. Not because he was offended in his own right, but to think of the founder doing such a thing was scandalous and horrid.

Not to mention hypocritical.

He wouldn’t entertain these thoughts.

 

Anonymous asked: Mr. Baldi, please... I just wanna go home. This jumbled question doesn't even make any sense! I-I just wanna go home, please...!

  


_“School ends at-”_  static,  _“then your parent or guardian will be here to pick you up! Haha!”_

[  **But** ] time stands still here. It does not move, ever, past this first period of math. It hasn’t for the past twenty years. The only way to get it to shift was to pass all of his tests.

You’re not going home, stranger. You’ll die here like the rest, should you prove yourself worthy of his holy and ending wrath.

 

Anonymous asked: Yo math sucks

  


 

Anonymous asked: baldi did you use to be a person before you became... that

  


_“You shouldn’t make fun of people’s appearances! You don’t want to end up being another It’s A Bully!”_

[  **No** ] . He was always this. He was born like this, and he will stay like this, even if he leaves these halls. A thing like him has an unshifting body, no matter the dimension. No matter the condition.

He would never change.

 

Anonymous asked: I wanted to study meme economics, what the shit is this?

  


_“You’ll need to learn math before you can learn thaaat!”_

[  **Even** ] the most basic of math was used in statistics, stranger.

 

[weareallfandomtrash](https://weareallfandomtrash.tumblr.com/) asked: hey baldi whats 123665948559409059y4-95805840t05-80y94584t4938839853459526425 + 53678594325647050432987249327857845ry654746uu645

  


_“Sorry! I can’t answer that because it’s not possible!”_

[  **Even** ] as a quadratic, this equation wouldn’t work. He knows, he ran it over in his head and received no answers.

Chances are, this person didn’t even think to make the question possible in the first place before handing it over to him.

 

Anonymous asked: What’s 0 divided by 0?

  


_“You can’t do that!”_

[  **Undefined** ] . 

 

Anonymous asked: hey yeah what the FUCK did you do to principal

  


[  **What** ] he had to do.

 

Anonymous asked: hey. hey baldi. what's the square root of 4761

  


_“Don’t you think you should be doing something simpler?”_

[  **Easy** ] . Sixty-nine.

 

Anonymous asked: Tmw people only go to your schoolhouse JUST to get killed

  


_“…”_

[ He’d ] happily dispose of the wrong, but sheep walking willingly to their slaughter, purposefully and knowing? Weird.

Very weird. Morally strange.

He doesn’t know how to feel about that.

 

Anonymous asked: Kill us please life is literally horrible you don’t understand dad please

  


_“…”_

[  **Life** ] couldn’t be that bad, could it? He lives it from inside these walls and he doesn’t want to die. Granted, his will is more than definitely higher than some mortal’s, but. It should count for something, shouldn’t it?

He apparently doesn’t like the idea of people begging for death. Sure, he’d give it if they prove themselves worthy of it, but that simply does not sit right with him. Ending it before it even has a chance to be tested. Life had a slim possibility to be perfect. Throwing it away before proving themselves  _possibly_ virtuous was just. 

 _Sad_.

He felt bad for them. Not in a compassionate way, nor empathetic. Because everyone knows he is more than likely incapable of feeling sympathy. It was more of a pity thing.

 

Anonymous asked: Why do you get so angry when someone gets just one question wrong? No one's perfect, sir...

[  **Ignorance** ] was a crime against him. A crime against what he stood for, what he desired. He wanted perfection, he wanted knowledge. He got both of those out of himself, but from mortals it was severely lacking. Ignorance, willful and blissful, as idiocy was something most detestable.

Hatred. Hatred for those who were unwilling to become enlightened. Out of their own choice were they worthy of his malice, worthy of his rage, and thus worthy of his just and holy violence.

He will find perfection. He will have perfection. He will. No matter how many students fail here, no matter how many come through the doors, he will have perfection. He will have what he seeks. Both of what he seeks. 

The founder told him such, and he would never doubt the only being higher than himself.

 

 

Anonymous asked: You know he had to do it to em.

  


 

[illuminaticompass](http://illuminaticompass.tumblr.com/) asked: 128√e980

  


_“Don’t you think you should do something simpler?”_

[  **One** ] thousand, seven hundred ninety-two root of five euler. Or, alternatively, six thousand, six hundred six and forty-eight thousand, one hundred eighty-eight hundred-thousandths.

He did not see what else it could be.

 

[puffywarrior](http://puffywarrior.tumblr.com/) asked: Just. Hesitantly pokes Baldi with a pencil.

  


[  **The** ] pencil quickly turns flat and pixelated starting from the end poked with and working up. It ends up like an image greatly compressed through computers. He is unphased by the action.

 

Anonymous asked: hi im the founder sanic. fuckign dab

  


[  **There** ] is no word that truly shows it. There is nothing so intense that it could ever be compared to what he feels, there is nothing that is equivalent or higher than his rage at this very moment.

“ **How dare you.** ”

His voice crackles and the walls watch on as he allows his ruler into his hand. At speeds more than the speed of sound, he moved to the stranger and promptly destroyed them.

Truly disgusting. A revolting display of existence this person once was. 

Impersonation will not be tolerated.

 

Anonymous asked: baldi has sonic body-pillow

  


[  **Wow** ] ! You sure can put words into any sort of formation you wanted, huh?

 

Anonymous asked: So baldi, when you are screwing around in bed at night, do you think about math? When you use the bathroom, do you think about math? Do you think about math for everything?

  


_“Haha, nooo!”_

[  **He** ] has no way of sleep. No way of desecration. He is a restless, physically empty being run off the food and sustenance of true gods. He does not think about math whilst preforming the described, because he has no place for them within his eternal life.

 

Anonymous asked: Feeds... green... beans...

  


[  **Denies** ] … Green… Beans…

 

Anonymous asked: ( @tenaciousteachings ) “ Baldi, “ his voice seemed uneasy and almost accusatory. “ Have you seen the principal? Or anyone else, for that matter?” Dean seemed to notice that something was off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Normally, he wouldn’t ask Baldi for anything. It didn’t seem like he had other options.

[  **They** ] can’t have gone far. There’s not many places to look in a sealed box like this one. This staff member is just lazy. It’s quite honestly pathetic. The accusatory tone, like he’d done something wrong, is not one he’ll be forgetting or ignoring. He’ll be noting that in his mind, ‘friend’. 

_“The principaaal is always walking around, he’s haard to find! But maybe you can find him in the detention room! I know he’s always putting students in there if they’ve been baaad!”_

Detention for the principal until he’s healed enough to bear moving again! When will he learn?

 

Anonymous asked: My, My, Baldi...you're extremely smart! I think you could even help me with some maths problems someday! OOOOOOHOHOHOHO~!

  


_“Haha! Maaaybe!”_

[  **Him** ] helping anyone would be an honor on their side. It’s not often god himself willingly bends low enough for mortals to question and receive answers from, now is it?

 

Anonymous asked: I want to know the true reason behind /exactly/ why you like to smack people with rulers. Please.

  


_“You don’t have to worry about that!”_

[  **Rulers** ] measured. They showed number, they meant something. They were sayers of absolute truth, he loved that. They were long, they fit perfect in his hand. They were nothing more than a simple piece of wood (or at least it seemed) so there was some amount of surprise when it was used to inflict the disease known as death.

Not to mention its history of discipline in the hands of others also made it quite the attractive weapon.

 

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Are you interesting in adding protein powder to your BSoda drinks?

  


[  **…**  ] 

His eyes say yes.

_“No! Thank you!”_

His mouth says otherwise.

 

Anonymous asked: English is a superior subject

  


[  **Sounds** ] like someone wants an beating of the AP Math variety!

 

[galaxyknifu](https://galaxyknifu.tumblr.com/) asked: maybe you should be punished for harming your friends! it’s not okay to hurt your friends! You should really apologize to him.

  


_“Haha! Wow!”_

[  **No** ] . They aren’t even friends. This principal is his lesser, and if he fights in a way that kicks up rather than the proper down, he was to be be punished accordingly. That’s how power worked.

That’s how this all worked.

There were no apologies from him for using his power to keep others in line, to attempt to secure freedom for all rather than just one.

 

[lettass](https://lettass.tumblr.com/) asked: okay, okay. if a dealer had 32g of weed for $45 and another had 24g of weed for $36 .. which buy is better? .. asking for a friend,,, yes,, ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈ

  


_“Don’t do drugs!”_

[  **At** ] those prices, the first dealer would be selling a single gram of weed for one dollar and forty-one cents (rounded from forty). The second dealer would be selling one gram of weed for one dollar and fifty cents. It’s only a ten cent difference between singular grams, but the first deal saves more money than the second.

 

Anonymous asked: If you were the founder, what would you do first?

  


_“Teach more math, of course!”_

[  **That’s** ] a loaded question if he ever saw one. Of course he’s not going to say what he’d actually do.

 

Anonymous asked: what are your thoughts on fidget spinners

  


_“Good!”_

 

[smileimi](https://smileimi.tumblr.com/) asked: *tosses fidget spinners noodle man’s way and makes way for an escape*

  


[  **Your** ] little twirling objects of restlessness bonk right off of him, furry. They turn into flat, two dimensional versions and rest on the ground like paper.

Your memes will not work here. There is no escape.

 

Anonymous asked: Everything needs math to exist, so by that logic, you're probably the most important being among all. Terrifying.

  


_“The most important people here are the founders! Without them, this school wouldn’t exiiiiist!”_

[  **Bless** ] one of them, for his power far surpasses his own. His abilities the same. There’s nothing that he could do that the founder couldn’t do better, nor more intensely. 

Truly.

He was  _nothing_ compared to the founder.

 

[cuniculia](https://cuniculia.tumblr.com/) asked: can a chao do math? no.

  


_“Anyooone can do math if they try!”_

[  **Anything** ] with a mental capacity to do any form of math so obviously should. It’s the closest thing they’ll ever get to any legitimate semblance of unshaking truth in the mortal realm one lives in.

 

Anonymous asked: math is far less important than literally any other subject; change my mind

  


_“That’s an opinion! Be careful, they can be misinformed!”_

[  **One** ] won’t need math when they’re dead. That’s when it’s the least important subject to learn about.

 

Anonymous asked: Hey baldi, my man, watch the fuck out cause im gonna rip off ur little noodle arm if ya mess with me you got that?

  


[  **Try** ] . Lay a single little appendage on him and see what comes of it.

 

Anonymous asked: personally, i think what you did to the principal was necessary. cheating should never be tolerated, especially if it was someone you trusted. godspeed to you Baldi.

  


_“Always do your homework!”_

[  **Wow** ] , someone agreeing with him for once? What was this, opposite day? Seriously though, this was some miracle. Someone seeing the reasonability of his side rather than the ‘I can do whatever I want even if it could potentially cost another chance at leaving lol’ side of someone else. 

 

Anonymous asked: but baldi, you cant expect immediate perfection. instead of punishing, why dont you help them understand what they did wrong and help them try again until they're perfect?

  


_“Wow!”_

[  **It**  ] goes against his values. It also goes against how this place works. If there’s even one, one question wrong, and there always seems to be at least six questions that are consistently gotten wrong no matter how promising the student, then nothing happens.

Then he’s still here. Nothing will change, nothing will change so long as people refuse to do their homework. He can’t even really help people with the questions at the time of asking, even if he wanted to. Not only is that cheating, that’s against the laws of this place too. 

It’s not to say that he’s entirely stubborn, he’s tried it once or twice. Helping others to cheat. Attempting to help in general. Back when he wasn’t totally beaten down and submissive, and wasn’t the most well valued. But after twenty years of pressing isolation and hopeless atmosphere, you’d learn to correct yourself regardless of what you were.

He has this chance, again, now. He will not squander, he will not cheat, and neither will he help. He will not crack into disobedience.

This is the final stretch. He will not stop moments before the finish line to return back to the start.

 

Anonymous asked: idea: punch through the front door of the school

  


_“…”_

[  **He** ] stares blankly at the doors. Even just moving towards the entrance from here was a task and a half, but punching through the doors themselves? Yeah, no, he’s not that powerful.

* * *

 

[  **A**  ] familiar rush. A familiar push of confidence and quiet power surges through his body and into his horrid fingers. It’s a feeling that fills the void of his physical capabilities, and is entirely welcomed amongst the twenty years it’d been missing for.

Something feels right. Something feels ready. An ability retrieved, powers reactivated after so long dormant and repressed. He shows it not to the walls except for a twitch in one of his digits. Easily mistakable for restlessness.

The founder saying he would get out ‘soon’, this empowering feeling pressing into him, all these people walking through his school, and with summer a mere three days away..

He will see the light of a sun again. 

* * *

 

[galaxyknifu](https://galaxyknifu.tumblr.com/) asked: don’t listen to them. you’ll never be free. you are forever trapped.

  


[  **Wow** ] . That sure is a depressing sentiment.

One he doesn’t share in the slightest.

 

[galaxyknifu](https://galaxyknifu.tumblr.com/) asked: you are truly in denial, mr. Baldi. Do you really think after 20 years of captivity they would let you out now? you are more of a fool then the students you fail.

  


_“Haha! Woow!”_

[  **He’d**  ] be let out now because his twenty years of punishment has passed, and students have returned. There’s a bit of snide arrogance to him now, the confidence that brimmed in him that he’d be let out.

All the cards, every single one that he held, pointed to his favor. He had the word of the founder himself! That counted for literally everything! He’s done his due time, now the founder sees him as apt for a bit of time outside.

He really does think that after twenty-two years, he’d be let out now.

He won’t let some doubter, some mumbler of negativity try to take away his hope and knowing.

 

Anonymous asked: We're behind you all the way.

  


[  **Good** ] . That’s what he likes to hear.

 

[illiopfur](https://illiopfur.tumblr.com/) asked: Ey Baldi i have some Oreos and a 24 pack of almond joys you want 'em?? Oh i also got some milk

[  **…**  ]

Candy.

Twenty four. Things of candy. And oreos. He couldn’t care less for the milk, but the candy, the candy. Now that’s what he wanted. He craved it most, it’s what he was looking forward to when he eventually could leave.

Sweetness, euphoria, the forbidden bliss of the things most rotten for the body. Like the fruit of knowledge in the garden of Eden, if he were to take it and fall victim to the overwhelming temptation and pressure to accept this offer, things would surely turn hellish for him.

“ **…** ”

_“Hahahaaahahaaha! No! No! No thank you! Hahaaaa!”_

He shakes. Horizontally. Not in a human way, it moreso looks like he’s moving from side to side like a crab. But without using his legs.

This is absolute torture. It almost makes him want to cry. Key word, there. Almost.

 

Anonymous asked: what do you think about caramel apples? its candy. on an apple.

  


_“…”_

[  **This** ] is the worst. Why must he be taunted like this. He was a perfect, holy entity who was committed to the share of absolute knowledge amongst those smart enough to use it, yet he was being treated like this?

That sounded just heavenly, though.. Those are like.. Two of his more favorite foods, just combined into a fusion of blinding glory for one to consume..

Hopefully he could have one sooner or later.

 

Anonymous asked: you know, i have one right here. a candied apple. and it's one of those ones covered in two kinds of candy. an apple, on a stick, coated in caramel and then also covered in m&ms. doesn't it look delicious? *twirls the colorful candy apple*

  


_“Have fun with that, hahahaaaaa!”_

[  **Founder** ] please help him. Founder, founder please. Please. Let him out of here so he can eat food rather than be tortured by people putting it in his face. He doesn’t want to deny food anymore. He wants to  _eat_.

This is like dangling meat infront of a starved, dying lion, too weak and drained to claw for the only thing that could keep it alive. This is the most horrible of taunts and honestly, once he gets out, he will gorge himself until he’s more of a fat blob than a humanoid.

If that were even possible.

 

Anonymous asked: Hang in there baldi, you’ll be out soon. You can have all the ice cream, candy and cookies that you want. You can have it all!

  


[  **Soon** ] , soon, soon, always soon. Always had to be later rather than now, didn’t it? Because of course out of all the waiting he’d done, of course he’d have to wait more. Now he just had people taunting him and putting food in his face as a last test of his will and desire to be free.

He’ll be out. He’ll be out, he reassures himself. He needs to hold strong and not fall for vicious, malicious mortal tricks, and he can be as gluttonous as he so desires.

 

[holidaycheerisforweeebs](https://holidaycheerisforweeebs.tumblr.com/) asked: Hey don't let those taunts get to you, I know they never will, you're stronger than that! Why, when the founder sets you free, you can teach them a lesson! After all, its not nice to bully somebody is it?

  


_“Neverrr say something you wouldn’t want said to youu!”_

[  **He’ll** ] teach them a lesson, alright. He’ll eat as much as he wants, right infront of everyone’s faces. That’ll spite them. Then the founder will praise him for his good ethic infront of everyone who’s insulted him.

It’ll be great. The best comeback that didn’t involve him smacking someone else. Low effort, high reward.

 

Anonymous asked: Wanna hear something? REALITY SUCKS, EVERYTHING SUCKS. THE WORLD IS LITERALLY FALLUNG APART. PEOPLE ARE BEING RIPPED APART

  


_“Make sure to stay positive and aaallways do your homework!”_

[  **Just** ] stay positive. Even if one world is like that, the next won’t be. In the grand scheme, momentary hatred and pain is like a splinter in a planet’s heel. There, but picked out eventually. Insignificant compared to the rest, but still hurting.

It mattered not to him. The folly of mortals and their pains. What he cared about was knowledge and fact. That is all.

And food.

 

Anonymous asked: wait, but... isn't the founder just a video game like you? how is he gonna free you, if he may not even be free himself?

  


[  **This**  ] isn’t a ‘video game’. None of this is a ‘video game’. Maybe in the modern age there’s virtual reality like the Nintendo Virtual Boy (except better), but this is no instance of that.

The other founder may have made it possible for people to visit him through ways that seem as though it were a video game. Like a safe version of a typical visit, with no consequence to those who toy with him.

But he is very real. Even if that has happened. Considering where this question came out of, it may very well be the case.

He won’t comment on it.

The founder is free enough to make this place, the founder is free enough to let him out of it.

 

> [noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) has re-entered the school.

[  **Eric** ] . Again. He’s been here so often that the teacher had bothered to remember his name and actually actively recognize this kid. There’s a slight bit of disappointment in him upon seeing this child again, but oh well. He wants to try again? Who was this man to stop him.

Not like there’s anything better to do. Wipe the slate clean, let Eric prove himself to be an idiot again, as he’s done for a while now.

_“Oh hiiii! Welcome to my schoooolhouse!”_

He’d welcomed this kid to his schoolhouse plenty of times now. Surely this time would not be out of the ordinary. 

He already knew what to expect, but he was going to remain a certain level of hopeful anyways. Maybe in the time Eric hadn’t been in here, he’d been learning and doing his homework.

 

>   It was time.
> 
>  He would be surprised at the fact that he hadn’t come up with this plan in all of the time he and Emma had been trapped here, but honestly, there was no true concept of time around here. It could’ve been centuries and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Baldi, the observant  ~~god~~  one that he was, would notice that Eric did not try to strike up some sort of conversation for once. He walked right past him, without even murmuring a ‘hi’. Get the first questions right, then go to the next one.
> 
>   That’s what he was dreading, honestly.
> 
>  With quick inputs, he had completed the thinkpad answers faster than any ‘speedrunner’ could. He walked into the next room, of course, getting the first two answers right, but stopping at the jumbled answer.
> 
>  They would be here for a while. Eric silently observed the jumbled question. He had seen it many times before, but he needed to make sure he remembered it, now. For his plan to work.

[  **No** ] conversation. Not that it mattered. Eric went through the first questions as he usually did, now he’d stopped at the second notebook’s last. All the observant man did was.. Well, observe.

He looked upon Eric’s eyes with his own dead ones, scanning silently and judging whatever they held. Confusion and discerning, scrupulous and trying to pick out something from the question.

Was it that hard to read it? He himself could read it and speak it perfectly fine by himself. It was in the same fontface and all, it’s not like the thinkpad was displaying something that varied from the other questions.

  
  


He was patient.

He waited for an answer. He waited for whatever Eric would say in response to this question he so dutifully squinted at.

 

>   He knew that Baldi was patient.
> 
>  Patiently waiting him to open a door across the entire school. Patiently waiting for any noise. Patience was what made this man terrifying. He stopped at nothing to stop the ‘idiocy’ of his students. He glanced at Baldi with those beady eyes of his, while the grating music continued to loop in the background.  
> 
>  It took a while, but he got it.
> 
> _2321(37xy239) + (3.82xy3193)329, then multiplied by (321x32)_  
> 
> 
>  All he needed to do was memorize it. He ran it by himself several times, keeping hold of it. He couldn’t solve it now, he needed even more time for that. He took a shaky, deep breath. 
> 
> **This was the part he was going to dread.**
> 
>  He simply typed out a ‘1′ as he stared at Baldi, watching his expression change. Everything he had seen before. But he wasn’t going to run around, trying to avoid the other this time. It was just a waste, now. Doing anything else could run the risk of him forgetting what he just remembered.
> 
>  So, he walked out of the door, glancing at the incoming teacher…
> 
>  And for once,  **he ran in the halls**. He ran  _straight_ for Baldi, ready to collide with him and be sent back.

[  **Well** ] , can’t blame him for being trusting. Out came the ruler, out came the rage, and out came the desire to send this child back to whence they came; nonexistance.

The way that Eric ran at him reminded him of those who wanted death. Those that embraced it willingly, like he’d been told about. It does not settle entirely rightly, but it settled nonetheless. 

The thwack of his ruler, the only noise around, is loud and a sharp pierce on the heart. As the kid approaches, it only grows louder.

Hello, Eric.

  
  


_THWACK_.

Goodbye, Eric.

Better luck next time.

 

**…**

_“GHHHH—”_

 It only took a few moments for Eric to come back. He doubled over, still in slight shock from the pain and the sudden return. Eric was usually one to wait for quite a while before trying again. Emma was usually the one who Baldi saw more often. He didn’t want to look at Baldi. He didn’t want to listen to his peppy, ridiculous voice. He just wanted to get this done.

 First thinkpad? Easy. Done. Get that out of the way.

 However, when he approached the other notebook, he ignored it. He instead picked up the chalk nearby the chalkboard in the back of the room and began to frantically write the problem he remembered.

  “This must be high school algebra…” He murmured, as he looked at the set of numbers, the x’s and the y’s.

 This would take a while to solve. But he didn’t care. He had to try.

 

Anonymous asked: For reals Baldi, The 4th wall is actually falling apart. Everything is on fire. Existent things cease to exist. The nothin but chaos

  


[  **…**  ]

 

[lettass](https://lettass.tumblr.com/) asked: math? why not m e t h

  


[  **because** ] that’s chemistry and not plain math you cretin.

 

Anonymous asked: you know one thing you can look forward to when you get out? SLEEPING!! it’s like a warm hug all night long! and when you’re here, you can sleep as much as you like!!

  


_“Sounds great!”_

[  **Sounds** ] unproductive, more like it. He knew what sleeping was, he was no idiot. He had no need for sleep, he had energy from infinity. Sleep would just be making one’s self vulnerable for seven to ten hours a day, with no reward.

 

Anonymous asked: Presses a chocolate bar against baldis lips.

[  **He** ] grabs it out of the strangers hand and holds it in his own, terrible claws. He holds it and literally watches it as it turns from a regular bar of chocolate to one accompanying the rest of the food here. Two dimensional. Pixelated. 

Inedible.

…

Then he let go of it, it turned fully into an energy bar, one with that same blue foil, and speeds off through the hallways to go to the cafeteria where it belongs.

Guess that didn’t work.

 

Anonymous asked: Yeah sleeping is ok but BEDS! THEY ARE M THERE SOFT AND SO COMFORTABLE

  


_“Wooow!”_

[  **He** ] can’t physically feel. Not from outside force like objects or creatures. Not from something lesser— which is to say basically everything. He has no use for something that applies softness or comfort. 

His flesh is empty and ravenous for it all the same.

 

Anonymous asked: does this bitch like decapitate people with his rulers or something? this boy must play golf to have that strong of an arm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, holy shit

  


[  **Surprisingly** ] , blunt force can be just as effective! 

 

Anonymous asked: softly pats,,,,,

  


[  **Do** ] you feel that, stranger? That’s the feeling of your hand being entangled and ripped into a lesser form of being. More basic, easier to understand. A horrible burn, a terrible sear, yet no fire nor hot metal pressed. Something of horrid incoherent agony.

Don’t touch him. For your own good.

You wouldn’t want to become one of [them](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/search/instances), would you?

 

Anonymous asked: just hit the doors with your fuckin people deleting ruler

  


[  **He’s**  ] tried. He can’t get that close to the door.

 

Anonymous asked: whats the punishing for drawing during a math lesson

  


_“Drawing is a great pass-time! Make sure you show Arts And Crafters, he looooves art!”_

[  **A**  ] glare, some scolding, but nothing else.

 

Anonymous asked: The principals keys?? Do they work on anything?

  


[  **They** ] don’t work on the entrance. Not that he can even reach the doors to try, but he knows those keys don’t work on it. 

They only do anything on the locked detention door. Which he cares not about, because that principal should know better than to try and discipline  _him_ for anything.

 

Anonymous asked: *A mysterious lunchbox somehow materializes into a classroom, the noise, though quiet to the untrained ears, might be as loud as a door slamming to the trained teacher. If he were to follow it, he would find a note attached to the box, a simple caring message of "Hang in there, its almost summer vacation!" and if he were to open it, he might find a much deserving treat, 10 Oreos placed neatly within the box, not so much as a crumb or speck out of place, and 3 fruit roll-ups.*

[  **Such** ] a nice message for such a foul deed. Truly this was nothing short of the equivalent of going into a church of god, being polite and then praising Satan in its halls. The severe contrast of actions was too much to not be purposeful and at the expense of another for the entertainment of one’s own sadistic mind.

Nothing short of cruel, nothing short of knowingly horrid.

He takes not the food within, as much as he shakes and temptation makes a physical, visceral reaction form. His fingers curl like the legs of a dead spider and tremble as he stares on at what he’s been offered as an insult to his current position.

He closes the box and leaves it to quickly transform from his simple touch. To transform it and the objects inside, as much as his desires longed and screamed at him in loud, internal piercing agony. Upon their completion, they will be inedible, much like everything else here.

Soon, soon, whenever that’ll be, he’ll be out. He doesn’t need food right now, he doesn’t need it. He just wants it, and want is less than need will ever be. 

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi, why did the founders trap you in the schoolhouse in the first place? And why do they force you to talk and act a certain way?

  


_“You should never make anyone to do what they don’t want to! Haha!”_

[  **What** ] sort of question was this? Who asks this to someone  _still_ imprisoned? Do you really expect a straight and explicit answer when the walls can listen and watch?

At least wait until he’s on the equivalent of parole to ask this sort of thing. At least then he won’t be watched and judged so harshly.

 

Anonymous asked: how much longer till you get out?

  


[  **Soon** ] . Soon. Soon.

Soon. Very Soon. Soon.

Summer. 

The earliest?

Two days away.

Two days.

 _Two_.

 

Anonymous asked: is there anyone you want to see once you get out? have you ever been out? or has your entire life been suffered in this game?

  


_“Always do your homework!”_

[  **It’s**  ] more cruel to have something then to lose then rather than to have nothing at all.

Perhaps he’d been victim of cruelty. It was not undeserving, though, as he’d brought it upon himself. But he was godly, he could handle punishment of this sort. He had for so long now, for decades. There’s only one thing that he desired to see once he got out.

True physical matter.

 

Anonymous asked: i know this is a stupid question but, have you ever been in love Baldi? not with a particular entity, but with a concept? Math, perhaps?

  


[  **That’s**  ] an odd question.

Maybe he does love. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he loves math for it’s ability of unshakable fact, or maybe it’s more of a like.

There’s no telling.

 

[tocorruptandconquer](https://tocorruptandconquer.tumblr.com/post/174389735941/bxsiceducxtion-oh-teacher-i-believe-your)

>    “Oh,  **TEACHER** … I believe your other student, [BOB](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174277387977/uhh-i-think-im-a-little-too-old-to-be-going), has written some rather inappropriate slander about you in one of the rooms on the chalkboard and even went so far as to make up his  **OWN** math equations that weren’t given to us.”  
> 

_“Wooow! His ooown math questions?”_

[  **He** ] cares not for petty insult. He cares not for attempts on ego and pride, because he is more than secure in his. Nothing could harm him, nor his emotion, not easily. Certainly not some mere ‘inappropriate slander’.

_“Thanks for telling me! I’ll go give Bob a prize riiiight now!”_

And off he slides. Nice job, Megabyte.

 

[glitchedformat](https://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://glitchedformat.tumblr.com)  


Don’t mind him.   
Just over here,  _ ~~ugly~~_ laughing.

          **“**  Thanks Megabyte…  **”**

 ***** _SNORTS_ *****  

 

[askebdragobendyandfriends](https://askebdragobendyandfriends.tumblr.com/) asked: Are you secretly: Caillo to Charlie Brown to Baldi??? OwO

  


[  **He** ] may be godly but even sometimes mortal beings manage to still confuse him.

 

Anonymous asked: you ever open ur math book only to realize that it isn't a book and it's your own arm. did i just open. my own fucking arm. is that my fuckign bones. what the fukc. my dumbass math book is still in ht e ffucking bakcpack how did this happen. whhat the shi t. now my homework's all fukcing bloody and sh it. god danm it. i think im gonna pass out

  


[  **…**  ]

What.

 

[pcthetiic](https://pcthetiic.tumblr.com/) asked: stop whacking children you absolute madman

  


[  **just** ] try and stop him, meta knight and sonic fanchild

 

Anonymous asked: so uh. how's that eric kid doin.

  


[  **[Eric](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) ** ] is still..

Here.

In the school.

It’s been an awfully long time now. A lot longer than anyone else ever bothered to stay. Behind the closed door of the classroom, Eric’s still in there. He knows that for sure. 

He’d gone in there a couple times now, all with the same inquiry of ‘are you lost? lets go to the next notebook together’ before handlessly dragging the child infront of it. Then he’d leave, with only but mere glances of whatever the child was doing up on the chalkboard.

It was interesting.

He’ll wait for as long as it takes until Eric decides he wants to do the next notebook.

 

[holidaycheerisforweeebs](https://holidaycheerisforweeebs.tumblr.com/) asked: What the fuck did you even do to get buttfucked by the founder like this my guy like ???? Did you eat his chilidogs

  


_“…”_

[  **That** ] might’ve been part of it. But like the darkness that shadowed a possible monster, there was no telling if the assumption was true unless one were to purposefully search for the truth with a light.

Well, he was without a light, and without truth, so he was stuck assuming reasons as to why.

 

[starryxtears](https://starryxtears.tumblr.com/) asked: "You're...r-really scary, mister... C-Can I just do this 'math' stuff, another time...?"

  


[  **No** ] , no noise escapes his lips, no noise escapes him whatsoever. No sound of breath, no sign of audible life could be heard from this man, and his appearance took on the same motionless of unblinking, milky-eyed corpses and others long dead. 

He stares on, and he stares, and with no answer, his stare is expectant. He cares not for fear, not the opinions of those lesser to him. He desires virtue, show of use, show of truth.

Fear him all you want, constrict your eyes and pale, it matters not to him. Amongst the tendrils of time that fear is insignificant and useless to him, unlike the actions partaken here, right now.

_Do the math._

 

Anonymous asked: What would happen if that... Er, boy, got that question right? Then what?

  
  


[  **Something** ] great, as told from his eyes.

 

[lctsply](https://lctsply.tumblr.com/) asked: dear math man, I think you scared the sock person dead. stop murdering faculty members.

  


[  **no** ] one can tell him what to do! he’ll murder as many faculty members as he so pleases!

 

Anonymous asked: hot take: coding is math for real men. simple algebra is for cowards. show me the raw source code. ask me how to make a simple website.

  


_“Woooww! Computers are amazing!”_

[  **Does** ] this stranger not know that linear algebra is a key, essential part to  _many_ computer sciences? 

Because he does.

Not that he’ll say that, of course.

 

Anonymous asked: ONE. MORE. DAY. ONE MORE DAY!! and then you’ll be FREE!! how do you feel Baldi?

  


“…”

[  **At** ] the earliest. Earliest, one more day. It’s not to say for certain that he will be. He could be out on the very last day of summer itself, or in the middle, or a week from the start.

But it’s exciting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special credits to Pastabaconnoodle for that horrible cursed image.


	5. 5/31 - 6/4

[mint-mom-deactivated20180608](https://mint-mom-deactivated20180608.tumblr.com/) asked: pssst, green eggman. got any romantic attraction to your boss?

  


_“Remember to always help your friends! I help miine aaaaall the time! Learning never stops even if you’re an adult!”_

[  **It**  ] was hard to say if he even felt the chemical reaction that formed love. If he even had a heart, physically or mentally. His remorseless attitude of murder and willingness to destroy anything that he saw as wrong should show that much. His desire for discipline and bleeding perfection was not one that the staff were unaware of.

Yet even in times of strife and imprisonment— the ones they lived within at this current moment— sinners and cheaters rose from the floorboards like filthy rats to dirty the house he’d spent so hard cleaning.

The principal, his boss in title and nothing else, was one of those. Rancid, disgusting vermin, but one that instead of killing he’d brushed into its coat and made it into a tool. Tamed it and taught it of what is right and wrong, and cast it upon the other rats to assist in their extermination.

[At times, he’d turn upon his clear master.](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/tagged/principalofthevoid/chrono)

It was dealt with the violence that all pests received. Enough to snap bone, but not enough to kill. Because yet there was value. Now that it’d been formed to his own shape, he could not destroy it even if he wanted to.

Just proper, agonizing discipline.

Is there any love in that? Platonic or otherwise?

One would have to be positively sick-minded as to say yes.

 

Anonymous asked: aaaaand remember, hydrogen peroxide helps you get blood out of stuff!

  


“…”

[  **That** ] advice islittle disconcerting, isn’t it? Like it came from experience.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you ever regret hitting a child with a ruler?

  


[  **Does** ] a wolf regret killing deer?

 

Anonymous asked: bAlDiI ERIC SNATCHED YOUR RULER

  


[  **[Eric](http://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) ** ] couldn’t have grabbed his ruler. Even if he did, it would’ve have had the child more than likely screaming his head off upon touch.

Eric is still in that classroom, still doing something.

And it’s not stealing his ruler.

 

Anonymous asked: Where did the rest of the school staff come from? Are they former students, or did the founders create them?

  


_“Always do your homework!”_

[  **Who** ] knows, really.

He does.

He remembered when they’d originally grabbed at him, then paid the price of being trapped just like he was. Made into proper and upright tools, made to things that he could not destroy, but instead could command and use out of their own fearful reverence of him.

Unlike his most [recent](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/search/instances) staff members, that was quite a long time ago.

Ah, nostalgia.

 

[galaxyknifu](https://galaxyknifu.tumblr.com/) asked: how can the kids do their homework if they don’t ever go home

  


_“Always do your homework!”_

 

[zoey-thecandycoatedchaos](https://zoey-thecandycoatedchaos.tumblr.com/) asked: Hi Baldi! Umm....what do you usually do with that long ruler of yours?

  


_“You don’t have to worry about that!”_

[  **Beat** ] people into the abyss, or into submission.

 

Anonymous asked: So School ends tomorrow right?

  


[  **Potentially** ] . With the come of summer, with the come of summer.. It all made sense that this schoolday’s end would be during it.

 

[venusyouthin](https://venusyouthin.tumblr.com/) asked: "Skool is 4 suckas who liek 2 brag about 'intellect' n 'smarts'. If u were rlly a god, u would b slayin mutants n kickin ass liek me insted of teachin math. Seems liek ur wastin potential, pal." Venuz huffs. He's never been one for education, evidently.

[  **Ah** ] , yes, how could he have been so mistaken? Yes, let him just go around ‘slayin mutants n kickin ass liek’ this literal triangle real quick. Because he can totally do that right now, in this school that he’s been stuck in for twenty two years.

_“Always do your homework!”_

He doesn’t seem to care about the way  ~~Bill Cipher~~  Venuz talks, nor the insults provided.

 

Anonymous asked: when you leave the school i'll miss you

  


[  **He** ] most certainly won’t miss you.

 

[duskinrockthesmilingdog](https://duskinrockthesmilingdog.tumblr.com/) asked: What if you saw a player running in the halls?

  


_“I think its fiiine if students run in the halls! Don’t let the principal catch you, though, he’s preeeetty strict!”_

[  **Run** ] all you want, fail and you will never outrun something of energy impossible to deplete.

 

Anonymous asked: you can't leave so easily, you'll be dragged back the moment you step out

  


[  **Then** ] he will fight whoever may force him back, and sever the limbs they used to drag him. No matter who they are.

The founder has decided to let him out. The only person capable of holding dominion over him passed his mercy and has said that his release is ‘soon’. There is no creature, nothing, no god nor self-proclaimed deity that will ever be able to force him back.

It’d be certainly something to watch anything even so much as  _try_.

 

[partyworms](https://partyworms.tumblr.com/) asked: what are you gonna do when you get out? go somewhere nice? visit a beach? consume carbon based organic flesh beings? go shopping? personally i wanted to to golfing and collet teeth.

  


_“Wow! That sounds great!_   **I might do some of that.** _”_

[  **Yes** ] , yes.. He’ll do something. Something, anything other than just stand around and wasting time he knew he had countless of.

 

Anonymous asked: hello. [the entity with sunglasses still seems to shoot a cold stare towards Baldi. It seems.. disapproved with his actions towards children.] That is all I have to say. ɢօօɖɮʏɛ. [the entity disappears into thin air, a deadpan look on its face.]

  


[  **k**  ]

 

Anonymous asked: Out of curiosity, would it be possible to make a math question that the answer could be translated into binary code to show a response to an actual question, to get around some of your, in a word, forced censored answers?

  


[  **Censored** ] answers? Actual question? His answers have never been censored, and all his questions are perfectly readable. In his eyes and upon his nonexistant ears, that is.

 

* * *

 

[  **He’d**  ] felt it. Earlier, at around midnight. The exact time, the exact time that it would shift over to summer. That’s when he knew things were really in his favor. The walls loosened and became relaxed, the secure eyes upon him became dazed and fogged. Tired of looking, tired of observing, and turned to have him only in the mere sides of their vision rather than the front and center.

The atmosphere became more dull, less grating on the eyes and on the ears. More tense if there were students, perhaps, but much more relaxing for him and the rest of the staff members.

Summer.

The two months of weakened security, of laws fuzzy. Of yearly vacation, which would allow him to do more of what he really desired. 

This one, this one would be special.

He knew that much.

 

[  **The** ] windows flicker. The disgusting browns and horizon of dull blue and yellow hisses and fades and turns to a solid blue. The sky, if one can even call it that, rips asunder into something more friendly in color. Out of the void’s rancid colors raise up true, see-able bars.

Fences. Picket fences, brown, square in shape and allowing some flat, turf-like grass to be seen. It trembled and shook, lacking the noise of knocking wood and the nature that came with.

Distorting and the boards cracking under some pressure and power unseen. Holes and rot make themselves comfortable in previously perfectly even supposedly oak planks.

They shook themselves further before eventually stopping, looking much weaker than they did when they first appeared.

“ **Promising.** ”

He mused out loud, watching it all unfold from the sanctity of the lazy walls.

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: put baldi in detention for just bein TOO dang good at math wowie.....

  


“ **Six hundred eighty-two million, three hundred thousand, eight hundred second detention for me.** ”

[  **His** ] voice crackled in it’s less frog-like accent and the walls stayed silent and unpressing, just as they always did during the summer. He could speak, finally, at the very least a bit more than he could previously.

 

Anonymous asked: So, thoughts on 1st Prize?

  


_“You can do great things when you try reaaally hard! First Prize is a cooool robot!”_

[  **No** ] reason to risk himself talking normally when his acceptable speech delivered the same opinion.

 

Anonymous asked: so... about that dude in your office

  


_“…”_

[  **That** ] .. Dude? He has an office of his own, yes, a large place that’s essentially empty and impossible to get to without certain means, but.. 

“ _Thank you!_ **For telling me someone’s been in there. No one is allowed in my personal room without my say-so.** ”

Broken between his usual voice and the normal one, harsh static filled his voice with his second sentence’s finish. He had his suspicions as to who could’ve possibly gone in there, and considering there is technically only one other man in this school..

The suspects are very, very slim.

Looks like he’ll be talking to someone again. Unless more information came to light. He’s a holy creature of knowledge, devouring vagueness like this always made him hungry for more.

 

 

[principalofthevoid](https://principalofthevoid.tumblr.com/post/174480506182/something-was-off-thats-all-he-knew)

> He didn’t know how, or why, but something felt different. As Summer encroached closer, he could feel the atmosphere change around the school. He loved change, but he didn’t feel glad. He felt fear. A  **familiar** feeling…
> 
> For now, he stood in the hallways like normal. He felt like something was going to happen, but the agonizing feeling seemed to have no reason…
> 
> [@bxsiceducxtion](https://tmblr.co/maci4f68ql5qDGF9i3LWDrw) was nowhere to be seen at the moment.

[  **But**  ] moments pass, time moves, and things become revealed that they weren’t before. With no problems at the moment, some would show themselves. Eventually.

Eventually could’ve meant the next day. For dear principal it meant a few seconds.

Around towards the principal he slid, ruler already in hand but without use. No slapping, it was just.. There. His pace more casual, not unlike someone walking. But he did not walk, he moved as though he were levitating. Simple and basic it was, indeed.

“ **I was told something interesting.** ”

No hesitation, no beating around the bush. Straight to that crackling voice that could mean nothing good. But honestly, this man’s mere presence meant nothing but immediate danger.

The voice was just a worrying cherry ontop.

“ **Do you have an idea as to what you think I might’ve been told?** ”

 

> A cold chill ran down the Principal’s spine once he heard that voice. That awful, awful voice, that made his stomach turn. The last time he heard that voice… but that didn’t matter right now. Right now, he was concerned as to why Baldi sounded so…upset. Taking a deep breath, he straightened himself out and looked Baldi right in the eye.
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> “Why, no. I haven’t heard anything at all. What do you mean?”
> 
> He tried his best to be polite to him, even after their last encounter. He knew best not to make him even madder, especially seeing how…eager he was acting.

  
  


“ **I’ve been told as of recently that someone’s been in my office. A ‘guy’. As far as I recall, you are the only other ‘guy’ in this facility.** ”

[  **Yes** ] , the suspect list as very small. He knew that no child nor robot would be able to access his office, but the principal? He had his doubts, he assumed that the fellow wouldn’t be able to see it either unless he explicitly stated so.

Perhaps he was uncertain and entrapped in a mystery that he was yet to solve. But that was unlikely. At least, in his eyes. He was meant to know everything that happened here.

“ **Answer me, and swear to be honest internally, have you been in my office?** ”

If he caught even a whiff of a lie he’d be quite the mad teacher indeed.

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: are you sure the principal is the only other dude in the schoolhouse?

  


“ **He is the only other adult male in this place other than myself.** ”

[  **Who** ] else could there possibly be?

 

Anonymous asked: Well, there is Eric. But I guess he isn't a dude. He's a boy.

  


“ **You refer to a man as a ‘guy’. You do not refer to children as a ‘kid’. Typically.** ”

[  **There** ] was also This Is A Bully. He was also male. But he did not take into consideration either of them.

* * *

 

> For once, Principal had no idea what Baldi was talking about. Sure, he would’ve been curious to go into Baldi’s office, but he’d never do something so dangerous. He felt a big lump inside his throat, trying to keep his confidence in the presence of judge, jury, and executioner. 
> 
> “I.”
> 
> His voice cracked.
> 
> “I would never go into your office. What purpose would there be?” Principal stood still, trying to avoid fidgeting. “Maybe they were just trying to get your attention.”

  
  


[ **…** ]

Nervousness, huh? A literal voice crack. Noted internally as he stared on at the principal blankly. He’d taught this guy a real lesson, he’d beat the literal and actual tar out of him, did he not? 

Fear would undoubtedly prevent such things. It would be like departing to the cave of a dragon that ate half of your body. It was not wise, or at the very least incredibly anxiety inducing.

“ **Keep in mind what I do to liars. If you see any other man in this school, other than myself or any student, you will tell me.** ”

He doubted that there could be anyone but the principal doing these things. There were other staff members, yes, but this man was the most consistent one he was in contact with. The others seemed to blip in and out of existence spontaneously.

…

Hm.

“ **..Especially if they claim themselves to be teachers.** ”

 

> Another deep breath. Now he was really nervous. He was trapped. He knew Baldi wouldn’t believe him if he pled innocence, and would absolutely slaughter him if he confessed falsely. What else he do but tell the truth at this point?
> 
> “Of course…I would tell you everything that happened at this schoolhouse. It’s what the founder would’ve wanted!”
> 
> Ah, trying to butter Baldi up, eh? The thought of his dear founder..their dear founder.

[  **His** ] dear founder indeed. His dear, dear founder. There’s a twinge, a small twinge of hatred that snaps through his mind and not through his face as the founder is mentioned.

He instantly suspects honeying. He is no idiot, one doesn’t just mention the founder in that way and not be buttering.

  
  


“ _Wooow! Fantastic!_   **Now stop acting like a scared dog. I believe you.** ”

He disciplined this man just recently. One with a lashing still stinging would never try something like entering his office without permission. The fear here was not from telling clear lies, but from the possibility of getting hurt again because he was under suspect.

“ **You are given mercy so long as you are not lying. So, you will continuously prove to me your virtue and do as I asked.** ”

 

> A sigh of relief. Looks like he staved off his anger for now. But he still had to watch himself.
> 
> “Of course Mr. Baldi. I’m sure they were just messing around.” The feeling inside his stomach wouldn’t stay away…he didn’t know why though.

  
  


“ **Play or work, purposeful or accidental, it’s all the same. Something has been done, and no matter the motive, something else will happen in return.** ”

[  **This** ] sad rat before him should know that by now. He will have his punishment and lashes onto something, someone, whoever was guilty. There were only so few ‘guys’ to question, so few to drive anger towards.

Principal, compared to those other suspicious here-but-also-not folk, was falling down on the list of suspects due to his own intellect reminding him of their existence.

His expression lightens. With his (somehow now) longer claws, he grips onto the ruler lightly, clearly currently careless with it.

  
  


“ **Lighten up and have fun in all of this. It is summer, after all.** ”

 

> Principal kept his eyes on Baldi’s hands (or moreover, claws) on the ruler, feeling himself tighten up. He knew Baldi was out for blood. He knew it from the start of this conversation. All he had to do was keep his calm. Besides, it’s not like he did anything wrong.
> 
> “Eheh–” A faint smile grew across his face. “You’re right…it is getting nicer…”
> 
> Looks like his guard was finally down a bit.
> 
> Oh, how he loved the summer.

“ **So nice that surveillance is relaxing from the needed vacation.  Did you know that I could beat anyone and anything as much as I wanted during summer, if I deemed it wanted?** ”

[  **So** ] nice. If he were even less restrained than he currently was, he could go around beating the ever-loving shit out of everyone and everyone he wanted and the walls would only bat any eye many days after he was done.

  
  


“ **Haha! But I am just saying, I wouldn’t do that. That is not something I would ever do. So, yes, have fun, just as I will.** ”

He is meant to be proper and fair to some degree. He believed in karma, but only as much karma as needed.

He ever so slightly slid back, not breaking eyecontact with the principal. Still within talking distance.

“ **Keep in truth, principal. I am sure it will reward you in more than just a quarter’s worth.** ”

 

> Principal had to admit, it was nice to not be constantly watched. It made him feel a bit safer to be in the school, with someone like…the one standing in front of him. It was taking everything to keep himself strong.
> 
> “R-right, Mr. Baldi. We mustn’t go around doing that! Y-you have fun as well…”
> 
> Beads of sweat start going down his forehead. Maybe it was the plain brown sweater he had, maybe it was the school’s temperature. Maybe it was the feeling of danger his body was so tightly tense about. Who knew at this point. All he wanted was for this friendly chit-chat to be over.
> 
> He’d proven himself innocent, what else did Baldi want?

  
  


“ _Haha! Oookay! Seeeeyaaa!_ ”

[  **And** ] then backwards he slid after his use of his frog-like accent, still not breaking eyecontact or form with the principal. He took quiet notes on the nervousness, on the fear. Clear reminders of respect, gained through power and terror.

Where was he going? Well, it probably mattered not to the guy he was getting away from, so it doesn’t matter to say.

 

Anonymous asked: why are you such an asshole to the principal?? shame on you!

  


“ **He knows his place. He is meant to always know mine is higher, just like everyone else in this place. Any insubordination will be met with proper punishment, as I see fit and just.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: BALDI X PRINCIPLE

  


[  **do** ] people not remember him [mercilessly beating the shit out of principal until he screamed in agony](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174317357328/principalofthevoid-pain-indescribable-pain)? or was that just him?

 

Anonymous asked: You and your ruler is BROTP.

  


[  **him**  ] x abusing children is a close second but the ruler is pretty good too

* * *

 

[  **In** ] his murmuring thought, the sensation of another rush of confidence and power uplifted him. Gazing down upon his claws, he noticed them ever so slightly longer. Ever so slightly more inhuman, possibly even more thin and brittle looking. 

All of this coming back now..

Yes.

Very, very promising.

 

* * *

 

 

[bbiealofficial](https://bbiealofficial.tumblr.com/) asked: Hello there! I have been seeing my students visiting this website over the duration of the day on the single school computer, and I have noticed that you have intensified the personality of the teacher that works at our school! Unfortunately, this has given not a bright look for us, and I would like to request that you calm down when it comes to 'roleplaying' as the teacher. We appreciate all of the fans of our school, but you and several others have tainted the reputation. Thanks! :)

  


[  **bright** ] look? he’ll give you a bright look. he’s gonna go slap some kids RIGHT NOW with his ruler.

 

> This is an automated response, since you have responded with the word RULER inside of your reply.  
>  You have been blacklisted from the schoolhouse, if you think this is incorrect please contact [@bbiealofficial](https://tmblr.co/m49CLwl07c2A2BtYVXWxDig) to appeal your blacklisting. Thanks!

 

[  **ah** ] fuck, now he’s done it

 

Anonymous asked: Now that the walls aren't paying attention, is it safe to ask why the founders imprisoned you? And why they make you act the way you do?

  


“ **No.** ”

[  **It**  ] would never be safe. He doubted it would be safe, even if he were to rip apart dimension and space, along with time and even the concept of sound. To mutter an opinion like that, inescapable judgment would pass just like it’d done before. The only place it could exist were within his thoughts.

It would stay that way.

 

Anonymous asked: Do you... Hate the founders? Or are you incapable of hating them?

[  **The** ] walls perhaps made some sort of figurative glance at the man at the mere mention of founders in such a way. Color and music made its way, creeping and moving slowly like water through a tiny crack in a dam.

He knew it instantly.

_“The founders are greaaat and respectable people! Maybe if you’re a good student, one day you’ll meet one of theemmm! Haha!”_

The colors receded, and so did the watchful atmosphere. No answer was going to be given even in summertime, they were making sure of that.

 

Anonymous asked: Who even are...The Founders?

  


“ **You already know one of them, you’ve seen me talk to him.** ”

[  **Sonic** ] , Sonic, Sonic. The more powerful, more respectable of the two. The only one more powerful than him, capable of smiting him and snapping his physical form with a mere touch if so desired.

“ **The other one isn’t as important. He’s a mortal.** ”

The other.. Quite unremarkable compared to Sonic. Yes, like a tiny dust next to a meteorite. One was much more interesting and grand than the other. He, himself, was like a decent sized rock that got flung off a meteorite upon its landing.

 

Anonymous asked: holy shit its mavis beacon isnt it

  


“ **If Sonic is a powerful being, what do you think she is?** ”

[ **It** ] shouldn’t be that hard to figure this out. Is it really that vague? 

 

Anonymous asked: Mavis Beacon is pretty tough. I'm surprised you'd consider her weak, sir.

  


“ **I’m trying to get you to reach a logical conclusion by putting two similar things together. She is not weak.** ”

 

[multiversalxpostxoffice](https://multiversalxpostxoffice.tumblr.com/) asked: Then would you consider her a...Beacon of strength? Eh? Eh? :D

  


_“Haha! Wooow! You should tell jokes for a living!”_

[  **Such** ] a great joke.

 

[crxcxdile](https://crxcxdile.tumblr.com/) asked: “Do you sometimes think about why we’re here and for what purpose we have in this world? I mean, it doesn’t hurt to think about it, right?”

  


“ **…** ”

[  **Existentialism** ] was never one of his more loved things.

“ **It is all speculation, and no fact. It serves no purpose, in the end. To wonder is to dawdle in seeking any absolute truth.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: FREDDI FISH OR PUTT PUTT?

  
  


“ **What is it _exactly_ that you do not understand by ‘the other founder is mortal’?**”

 

Anonymous asked: Wait. Mortal? You mean mystman? /THE/ guy?

  


“ _Haha! You got it!_ ”

 

[eggedeggs](https://eggedeggs.tumblr.com/) asked: "Nyehh,, why do you have one tiny clump of hair on your head and yet the rest of your head's bald? Do you have hair growing problems,,? If I wasn't so low on my MP, I could cast a spell on you, to make you grow hair- if you wanted." Who is this,, tiny redheaded gremlin in a witches' hat?

  


“ **I do not have a scalp. I am ‘spell’ resistant as much as I am resistant to physical touch. Trying such things would be a waste of both our time. Mostly yours, since I have no set amount of it.** ”

[  **Such** ] things were just meant to be. He wasn’t meant to have hair, and he was quite content with that. Like how the tides of time simply flowed because they were meant to, much like how he was bald because he was meant to be.

 

[lctsply](https://lctsply.tumblr.com/) asked: has Baldi ever met the small pasta man named Mario Mario?

  


“ **Probably not the one you’re thinking of. I’ve heard of him, never met him. The same with his brother.** ”

[  **No** ] harsh feelings could be found regarding the man, nor his brother. He’d only heard of them in casual conversation, just passing mentions. Nothing more than that.

But that did not keep him from knowing exactly who Mario was. 

 

Anonymous asked: did you know that Mario dude is apparently an “enemy” of your founder?

  


“ **You think of the wrong one. As far as I remember and currently know, that is as far from the truth of their relationship as one can get.** ”

[  **Mario** ] , oh Mario. The poor sod.

 

Anonymous asked: That Playtime girl is actually pretty adorable! She's not a bad student, is she?

  


“ **One cannot be a bad student if they do not go to class.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: Well I guess that makes sense! What I was asking though is that...have you ever had to punish her?

  


“ **In comparison to the others, she is the most well behaved. But as it goes, some spirits need to be broken then reforged to something better, more fit for their environment. Unless broken upon arrival, not many are an exception to that.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: If a student actually ‘passed’, would you treat them with respect?

  


“ **…** ”

[  **He’s**  ] just excited at the thought of someone actually passing.

 

Anonymous asked: Uh, Baldi. One of your students is trying to deface your image in the principals office.

  
  


“ **I’m going to put it simply since it seems like how I act is not enough of a message; I do not care. Call me what you wish, insult all you so desire, it makes no difference to me and will never draw me to rage and discipline.** ”

 

[noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/post/174514947508/fixed-it)

>   
> 
> 
>   “Fixed it.”

 

Anonymous asked: I think Principal is laughing at you Baldi. you gonna take that sitting down?

  


“ **It’d be below me to bother.** ”

[  **Let** ] the dog bark all it desires. So long as its dulled teeth do not turn upon its master, there will be no issue.

 

Anonymous asked: Is there any reason you prefer Math, as opposed to English or anythin' else?

  


“ **Math leads to undeniable, absolute truth. Absolute perfection in it’s most achievable form; that is what math is, that is what numbers as a concept are. It is the most fundamental component of life, existence as a whole, really. English is opinion, never fact, and science is math. It is the only subject rooted in absolute purity, rather than just a branch off of its might. It cannot be argued against if done correctly. You leave nothing to wonder, nothing to ponder, and the answer can never be misconstrued.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: What undeniable truth does division by zero lead to?

  


“ **An undefined characteristic, indeterminate forms, or in simpler terms; impossibility.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: are you sentient?

  


“ **Are you?** ”

 

Anonymous asked: You have an office ?????

  


“ **Yes.** ”

[  **For** ] though he had barely any use of it considering all he did.

 

Anonymous asked: Getting all 21 questions wrong is apparently a way into your office for some reason. This bizarrely seems to be a recent development.

  


“ **…** ”

[  **Well** ] , when his speed is linear in ascension and impossible to dodge after twelve questions incorrect, it’s unsurprising.

He hasn’t ever really needed to use his office for that reason. If he did, it would only be for..

 

Anonymous asked: What was that loud sound during the student's final escape?

  


“ **…The walls straining.** ”

[  **Like** ] how the walls of a cell could allow some things in and somethings not, that was the case here. Except these walls constantly would forget what was allowed out, and would have to strain to open their barriers enough to let whatever horrible fawn it had within.. Out.

But never for him did these walls strain, and never would they.

 

Anonymous asked: Principal: um...hello there, I guess... (@get-out-while-you-still-can)

  


_“Hiii! Shouldn’t you be_ **doing your job?** ”

[  **His** ] voice crackled with static and anger unseen through his smile. He has beaten one of these men before, and his excitement from summer made him all the more irritable and easy to set off.

Don’t bother him.

 

Anonymous asked: you could make baldi a baldi by yanking that one hair off of his sTUPID FACE

  


_“Haha, wow! Why don’t you tryyy?”_

[  **Definitely** ] a good idea if he’s the one encouraging it.

 

> [noturningbxck](http://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) is still in school.

[  **Patience** ] , perhaps, was his most remarkable trait. He’d wait an hour before checking in, he’d wait stoically for fatal noise, he’d wait for glaring issues, and he’d most certainly wait for Eric to do something other than write on that chalkboard.

That’s what he did. Patience, silence in times needed, and unshaking, unmoving and unblinking being that he was. Just because it was summer now did not mean that he was suddenly allowed to act outside of his own strict rules around students.

He more than certainly wished the child would get going, though. Not for his own sake, mind he was still rather optimistic about Eric’s abilities, but moreso just for Eric himself.

Those of flesh and blood have a timer ticking over them constantly, don’t they?

And they are certainly not as patient as he was.

 

>   
> 
> 
>  How long has it been? There weren’t any clocks around here ( and even if they were, he doubted that they’d be accurate ), but he had to have been here for hours and hours. He had no true concept of time, but well. He think he had done it. He stared at the answer twice. Thrice now. Many concepts have came up when he worked. What if the other jumbled answers were different? What if this answer was somehow wrong?
> 
>  He was terrified. The unknown after this long was an idea that he had not thought about it.
> 
>   “Okay…” He finally murmured, breaking the silence he had put onto himself. “Here goes nothing.”
> 
>  He wasn’t sure if he should be excited or scared as he finally approached the notebook, being booted to the thinkpad. It was odd, seeing such simple math for the first two questions, but then seeing that jumble of numbers after. This was not a good curve, Baldi. 
> 
>  With careful precision, he typed it in.
> 
>   ‘ 20524603xy + 41220494802.88x²y ‘
> 
>  He stared at it once, then twice. Then thrice. He had inputted everything correctly. You couldn’t do anything else with this problem. So…
> 
> **_ENTER._ **

[  **There** ] was some form of melancholy, some sort of impossible, immovable force that stood before Eric. Like an oppressive atmosphere or fog that no matter what, refused to lift no matter how positively one thought. That is what this question represented.

To him, to the one who watched Eric put it in, it was a simple, very achievable answer.

‘12 + 4 x (8-7)’

That’s what the question was. That’s what he could see it as. In his fish eyes, he saw truth, absolute, and easy to achieve if one had enough brain to do so.

So, when Eric typed in the answer— sixteen— and got it correct..

  
  


 

  
  


He’d been pleasantly surprised. So much so to the point of absolute eye dilation. This was his shining star pupil, this was the first chance in twenty years. This was his Polaris, his guiding light out of a storm. All his years of hoping, waiting, and patience..

_“Wooow! You’re amazing!”_

Finally they would pay off.

As soon as Eric was back within the classroom, he decided of his own accord. He would not waste any second, he would not have Eric wander nor waste time smelling the roses.

_“Haha, are you lost? Lets go to the next notebook togeeethherrr!”_

So he approached the child through a slide, and grabbed hold of him with an invisible grab, one that would make Eric slide behind him as he pulled the child to the next blue door in the building.

Upon reaching, he stopped, expecting his perfect student to delve into the next problems with the best of his capable, young mind.

 

>   Eric awkwardly watched Baldi as his eyes dilated. That was disturbing. Wow. He was a bit shocked, he was booted back to ‘reality’ with no threats of the distant ruler slap. He was about to leave on his own accord, but froze when he saw Baldi come right into the room. Oh no. Was he going to drag him somewhere? Did passing students get –
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
>   …Oh. He was just being awkwardly sliding to the next door. Man, he got himself scared. 
> 
>  As they got to the next door, Eric looked up at Baldi. The other towered over him. He … Wasn’t used to him being so close. You know, without a ruler. 
> 
>  “O-Oh. I still have to do the other notebooks? Okay…” His soft voice trailed off as he entered the room, and, again, was booted to the thinkpad.
> 
>  Time to rinse and repeat, and hope the jumbled question had the same answer as he carefully inputted everything.

[  **Sure** ] as stone, as sure as a predator eating prey, Eric got the questions correct. One. Two. Three. Four. Then.

Then.

Five.

All seven. All seven, all seven of them. All correct. All perfect. To his standard, to the laws standards. The minimum, one hundred percent complete.. 

  
  


Perhaps he trembled, perhaps ever so slightly, as the final one was completed he was stuck within his harsh, empty but jubilant silence. Twenty two years. Twenty two, twenty two and finally now he’d found perfection.

_“Perfect! Perfect! **Perfect!! AMAAAAZING JOB!!** ” _

His voice distorted from its own pressure as he laughed like some sort of psycho. He wasted no time. His slide was one to rival supersonic speed, one to break a sound barrier.

But he did not. His rush, his movement through the school was quick and perfectly calculated. Every single turn, every single movement was taken all the way to the entrance, where he encroached upon the horizon of the door.

He put his hands out.

And slammed the doors wide open with a terribly anticlimactic, but distinct squeak noise. One that would deafen all that would hear it if they knew the indication..

##  **“I’m free! I’M FREE!!!”**

..If his screaming was not enough.

 

>   Eric… Was not anticipating that.
> 
>  He was taken aback by the others yelling and distortions, and even took a few steps away. He practically fell over from the force of the others speed, letting out a yelp at the sudden loud noise and yelling.
> 
> _W… What had he done?_
> 
>   “What… What just happened?”
> 
>   “I donno, you tell me.”
> 
>  Eric let out a startled gasp as he turned towards Emma, who seemed to just. Miraculously appear. As the boy was speechless, the girl grabbed his hand and began to lead him to the exit.
> 
>  “Come on, lets get out of here. I’m sick of this dump.” She didn’t seem to care that the hell teacher was out. Just the fact that they could breathe fresh air.

[  **His** ] disposition was cracked and so was his mind. There was nothing else, nothing else in existence he had been more happy to be at than this moment right now. For outside the walls, outside the things that surpressed him was a fake outdoors with fake skies and fake dirt.

Like some savage beast, a singular swipe of his nasty talons upwards split the facade with a horrid rip, showing what could be described as technicolor vomit inside. A swirling mess of colors, all sorts, shifting as he ripped the hole open further, making loud tearing noises which split the disguised void at its very seams.

With laughter corrupted and patience thrown, he flung himself into the portal he tore..

  
  


And was completely gone from the school made to keep him at bay.


	6. 6/4 - 6/25

“oh. huh well uh

guess like. baldi got out

i mean

cool but that’s yknow not a really good thing so uhhh 

if someone can go 

hahah

i hate to say it

like the uhh haha okay don’t uh- haha, uh, if you- if you’re listening right now, go get the uh

i know this sounds pretty ridiculous but really this

whole thing is ridiculous

but sonic from the schoolhouse video game. for the pc. if one of you guys can go get him that’d be great he’ll 

know what to do because he’s supposed to be a uhh

a god or a diety or something, he’s really powerful, i met him a couple times so i know he’s pretty uhh strong

haha i’m kinda busy so i can’t

like, doing other stuff

so uhhh yeah seeya”

 

[  **Prison** ] is what it had been. Reformation is what it turned out to be. Turning a hunchback into something more proper and straight. Forcing someone who loved to breathe to stop, making someone who enjoyed the outdoors be cooped up inside. That’s what it was, to him, for twenty two years.

His portal lead him to a world, not the one he’d been trapped in, with real and feasible objects rather than the corrupted ones he’d spent so long around. His body did not morph to realism, it stayed the same as he let out a humbled, restrained wheeze at all he saw.

Off of his body came long wisps of his own presence. Like an odd fire it did not burn or crackle, it was simply there, licking at the space around him in a two inch aura. Looking through this fire would allow one to see the world as it was back in the school; compressed, flat, and as basic as possible.

It slowly corroded the places where he stepped. Key, there. Slowly. Like radiation poisoning.

First he wanted as far from his portal as possible. Which he happily took part in with a quick fifteen second slide at a velocity of three-hundred and two meters per second.

Then he was fine. It was him and the dirt. As one would expect from him, he fell and gorged himself on the physical matter, just as he had so promised and desired to.

 

Anonymous asked: EAT. DIRT.

[  **Euphoric** ] was one proper term for it. His body was one that was not as well fitted to god-like substances, though it could survive off them wholly. It simply was not capable of handling them only very well, as it left him with a gluttonous appetite and no matter what, a desire for the matter he’d so missed.

Well, he’d gotten it now. Perhaps the glory and tingling sensation of finally, finally eating something else other than knowledge had enraptured him in a sort of blasphemous and ungod-like way, but he apparently didn’t care.

He shoveled the ground into his toothless maw like it were actual food. Which, to him, it apparently was. So long as the founder didn’t find him, what was to stop him? Nothing, really. 

Maybe he was too weak willed, but he’d been starved for so long, could one really blame him?

 

Anonymous asked: so what happens when a god too powerful for the normal world is let loose to do whatever it pleases?

  


[  **Eat** ] the planet; eat dirt.

 

[lucifcrux](https://lucifcrux.tumblr.com/) asked: When does Baldi vore the entire fucking Pizza Hut

  


[  **fuck** ] off let him enjoy his dirt

 

Anonymous asked: NO STOP EATING DIRT THE WORMS NEED THAT

  
  


[  **Looks** ] you dead in the eyes, plucks out a worm from some dirt, then slurps it like a spaghetti noodle.

 

Anonymous asked: why are you eating the dirt and the worms, you stupid little tosser?

  


_“Haha!_ **This is just the beginning!** ”

[  **You** ] must start at the edges of food and then work your way to the middles before finishing, did you not?

 

Anonymous asked: “So what are we learning today Mr. Baldi?” (@runningaroundcausingtouble)

  


_“We’re having eating practice right now!”_

[  **Practice** ] , sure. Practice using dirt. Oh, there goes a rock. Straight into his mouth, swallowed whole.

 

[weareallfandomtrash](https://weareallfandomtrash.tumblr.com/) asked: congrats baldi. ya boi eric did it. go get yourself a candy apple

  


[  **casually** ] eats an entire apple tree in one homphf

so proud of himself

 

Anonymous asked: So now that school is out, what about when summer ends? Do you just not return for Fall?

  
  


“ **I sat in that prison for twenty two years. NO FORCE WHICH YOU CALL A GOD WILL BE ABLE TO PUT ME BACK.** ”

[  **His** ] last years of summer were spent indoors, spent trapped. If he was not allowed out during the last summers, he would not allow himself back in for the next ‘semester’.

 

Anonymous asked: GET BACK IN THERE YOU RAT

  


“ **WHO RUSHES TO STOP ME? WHO DARES TO EVEN SO MUCH AS TRY TO TOUCH ME? YOU? YOU AND YOUR PUNY EXISTENCE, IMPERFECT AND NOTHING COMPARED TO MINE? WHAT A JOKE!**

 **I COULD EAT UNTIL YOUR PLANET IS NO MORE, WHILST YOU ARE HELPLESS TO HALT MY HOLY APPETITE.** **DARE TEST ME OR THE CAPABILITIES OF A TRUE GOD AND I WILL PROVE THAT I AM FAR FROM BENEVOLENT.** ”

[  **What** ] a mood change.

 

[partyworms](https://partyworms.tumblr.com/) asked: why eat dirt when you could EAT MEAT EAT MEAT EAT MEAT EAT M

  
  


[  **eats** ] a rabbit. then a deer.

 

Anonymous asked: I’m telling Sonic.

  


“ **..Don’t.** ”

[  **There’s**  ] a firmness in his voice. An absolute. Sonic hearing about this, about him falling victim to the temptation and horrid lust for food he had.. That would be dooming. That’d be something horrible, something that he’d be locked up again for.

He couldn’t have Sonic hear.

He couldn’t have Sonic here.

 

[giffany-rebooted](http://giffany-rebooted.tumblr.com/) asked: If you're going to eat dirt, at least season it first??? Put some rainbow sprinkles on it already damn

  


[  **what** ] sort of fucking disgusting pleb did you take him for? putting candy, sprinkles, anything on any sort of food dilutes flavor and makes it worse. he’ll happily eat the sprinkles by themselves, thanks.

 

Anonymous asked: So what about drinking. Do you need to hydrate yourself?

  
  
  
  


 

Anonymous asked: Do you at least taste what you consume?

  


“ **Would I consume at all if I couldn’t?** ”

[  **The** ] feeling of consumption itself is overbearing enough. Taste, yes, of course he could, but apparently taking time to do so was overwhelming and would halt him. Both a pleasure and a curse, due to his desires to just eat. And eat. And eat more.

 

Anonymous asked: Eat Baldi, EAT!! Fill your gullet with as much as you can!! Eat until you EXPLODE!! There’s no one to stop you now, no one to judge or hold you back. You’ve earned this Baldi. so EAT.

  


[  **That** ] he’ll do. His claws dig into the ground and pull asunder tall oaks and the creatures within, all to be consumed into the void that was his maw. A pleasure racked into a shiver which went from his fingers to his other digits, but no higher. Like a snake of infinite jaw stretch, he wrapped his lips around the ludicrously big portion he held, and ate it with no issue.

Truly a perfect creature of destruction.

 

[tehevilkittehuwu](https://tehevilkittehuwu.tumblr.com/) asked: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAATTTTHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA sucks HAHA YOU CANT SLAP ME NOW *shoots head*

[  **The** ] bullet phases through his head. It does nothing except fly off then eventually land, useless. 

He has his ruler. It never stopped existing, he can pull it out any time he so wishes or desires, but the ruler is not what’s needed here. He can do whatever he wants, and he wishes to consume.

He will bring those disrespectful into the horrid abyss that was his mouth, to rot and become absolute nothingness.

So his lips detach from his flesh and snap closed over his attacker, then pull back as if nothing had happened, leaving an empty space where they’d once stood.

Just as they’d gone, so did the ruler, and he did was he’d advertised he would; consume. Nothing was to be safe from him. Creatures, material, nor even those sentient would be given mercy if he’d decided they were worth the calories.

The universe was his dinner. He’d finally tied the napkin around his neck and received his utensils.

 

[  **His** ] body is trembling.

In, perhaps, a way more human than it did before. Shaking from excitement, the overindulgence..

In a wheezing, rasping gasp he does stop, but only to catch himself and no longer shake like some weak morsel. When the quivering stops, he pushes himself further into consumption at the same rate he’d done before.

 

[the-morphing-marrionette](https://the-morphing-marrionette.tumblr.com/) asked: NO BALDI YOU CAN ONLY EAT IN THE CAFETERIA WHAT WOULD THE PRINCIPAL TH INK OF YOUUU

  


“ **Like I care what that scared dog of a man thinks.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: Baldi is truly at the top of the food chain.

  


[  **apex** ] predator right here, folks

 

[jordanmario](http://jordanmario.tumblr.com/) asked: WOW! I EXIST! YOU EXIST! YOU EXIST!!

  


“ **I really do truly exist now, don’t I?** ”

[  **Existence** ] was one with choices, with opportunity. More importantly, it was one with freedom. He existed. He existed outside of walls, outside of boundaries in a place he obviously did not belong.

Yes, he existed.

Are the cosmos ready for that existence to continue?

 

Anonymous asked: Greetings Baldi. How many times have you encountered the "P L A Y E R"?

  


“ **The word you might be looking for is ‘student’. There is no ‘player’.. Unless, perhaps, you consider mortal life and all it entails to be a game. Then I have met many ‘players’.** ”

 

[noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) asked: "I. Uh. Hm." Oh, there Sonic was. In all of his glory... With Eric, hiding behind him. "...You doin alright there??" Seeing a man eat dirt was. Odd.

[  **Those** ] first words caused a freeze. The next ones caused a rushed removal of the dirt from his hands, to put it back onto the ground where it originally belonged. He’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar after gorging himself on cookies.

And his expression of constricted eyes showed exactly how he felt about being caught, even though he said nothing for the first couple of moments. He’d knew he had done something wrong, it was very obvious he was the cause for the destroyed landscape around him.

“ **Founder, please, I can explain. Please. Hear me out.** ”

He’d actually backed off from Sonic, even, like he were about to run if his freedom depended on it.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   Eric peeked out from behind Sonic as he watched Baldi’s frantic movements. What did this hedgehog do to cause such fear? He felt pretty alone without Emma… Who went to one of those ‘mcdonalds’ things, whatever that was…
> 
>   Sonic was just… Very confused. He knew Baldi was hesitant around him [before](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/174233695728/multisushi-youd-imagine-the-hedgehogs), but… This was somehow… stranger.
> 
>  “Whoa whoa whoa.” He put a gloved hand out in front of him to make himself clear. “Everything’s fine. I’m not gonna  **hurt**  ya or anything. I’m just…  _Confused._ ”
> 
> ~~ᴱᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ'ˢ ᴺᴼᵀ ᶠᶦⁿᵉ  
>  ʰᵒʷ ᵈᶦᵈ ʰᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵒᵘᵗ?!~~
> 
>  He glanced at the holes in the ground. This man must’ve eaten a lot of dirt.

[  **He** ] wouldn’t expect pain in the first place. He figured Sonic was above delivering him such things like pain. Morally above pain, but not morally above throwing him in a cell.

“ **What confuses you, the all knowing?** ”

He willingly steps into a minefield, the fool. He questions back what was obviously rhetorical confusion, ready for a lash of word and wit. Best to get it over with now, running would make him all the lesser.

 

>   
> 
> 
>  Sonic is hesitant to answer. The air was tense, and it didn’t help that he had a scared kid behind him. He awkwardly patted Eric’s head as Sonic let out an awkward laugh, in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
> 
>  “Why are you eating…  _Dirt?”_
> 
>  A simple question. Only things like worms ate dirt, and couldn’t dirt have some… Gross stuff in it? He wasn’t sure if he should be worried for the other or not.

  
  


“ **Those years without food left me desperate. My frenzy came from that, it will not happen again, I swear upon you.** ”

[  **The** ] admitting left a horrible burning pit of realization in his mind. That what he’d done was wrong, but it was no accident; it was purposeful. Could one call it a mistake, what he’d done? Or a vicious attack of blasphemy?

“ **It was nothing more than an unruly, ungodly side of me showing itself. I apologize.** ”

It was a  _ **mistake**_.

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: i hope sonic traps you back in school before you can eat our world

  
  


“ **…** ”

[  **The** ] possibility was real.

Was it not?

* * *

 

>   
> 
> 
>   The hedgehog wasn’t sure what to say. He glanced at Eric, to see if he had any answers, but from his equally confused expression, he had none. Ungodly? Was this guy some sort of god? Or worshiped one? Sonic sighed. He didn’t like having to fake all of this ‘founder’ stuff, but again, he didn’t want to get on this guys bad side.
> 
>   “I. Uh.” He’s hesitant for a moment. “Why not just eat…  _Actual_  food?”

[  **Oh** ] . Eric’s also here. He just noticed that. Okay.

But the question is certainly one that struck him as harmful. ‘Actual’ food. God’s food. Knowledge. That’s what Sonic had left him to eat, that’s what he’d eaten for the past two decades. That’s surely what Sonic meant.

  
  


“ **Knowledge as sustenance is survivable, but it alone for two decades has left me like this. That’s not to say I blame you for this, of course not. But I’m simply not complete like you are. Incapable of eating knowledge without the taste growing sour after a while— without a longing for some other source of food. Like the more mortal matters. Like the things their stars create, or they themselves do. Like candy.** ”

Candy, the temptress of the tongue. Oh, why must he have such a terrible agonizing lust for the matters most sweet? Or matters in the first place? Why was he like this?

 

 

>  Sonic… Didn’t really understand what this guy was saying. What was his deal? Sonic rubbed his temples, feeling a mild headache come on, but it wasn’t painful. It was just… Odd. Eric seemed lost as well. Eating… Knowledge? Before Sonic could ask any more questions, Eric finally spoke up.
> 
>   “W-Why don’t you go to a p-place that sells candy, t-then? T-that wont hurt anyone…”
> 
>  Sonic paused, before sighing and nodding. If buying this guy a candy bar would get him to stop eating dirt and live animals…
> 
>   “I can… Er, get you somethin, then.”

[  **There’s** ] an instant pang of suspicion. Of doubt, of something here not being exactly correct. Like a painting slightly off a correct axis but not too much to be glaringly obvious.

Or, perhaps, the painting was made by an artist most famed for brutalizing their even softest critics with a club, and the painting was forty five degrees off from a perfectly decent angle, and he was stuck with his trap shut out of fear of being beaten over the head.

  
  


“ **..I would appreciate that.. Going to such places as well..** ”

Excessive skittish caution was being exercised here.

 

>   Sonic sighed. Great, he would have to babysit the dirt eater. What hole did he dig himself into? He patted Erics head and shrugged.
> 
>   “I’ll get ya some candy bars, but don’t think about eatin any buildings.” He said, a bit threateningly. He didn’t want anyone else getting… Eaten by this guy. Sonic turned towards Eric, “ _You_  stay here. I’ll take care of  **him**.”
> 
>   “Y-You sure?” Eric fearfully replied.  
>         “Yes. I’m sure.” Sonic nodded, before Eric hesitantly nodded back.

[  **He** ] knows what’s going on here. He thinks he knows. He’s.. He knows. He knows, he knows. Yes, he knows. He absolutely knows. There’s no way it couldn’t be a trap or ruse, Sonic was going to go prepare and come back, then trap him again.

  
  


The way Sonic sounded, threatening, was one he wasn’t going to take easily. He wasn’t going to forget that, and he most certainly wasn’t going to disobey. No buildings. No people. 

He doesn’t want to be trapped again. He doesn’t want to feel starved again. He wants food. He could be patient, yes, his patience in the schoolhouse was unending but this was no schoolhouse. He was far from patient now.

Which is why as Sonic turned and left him alone with Eric, every single millisecond he remained in view was absolute torture. He hazarded and calmed himself so that he wouldn’t vibrate, but he still looked extraordinarily restless.

Then, as Sonic was completely gone from view, Baldi took a clump out of the earth, whilst staring Eric dead and silent in the eyes. Then shoved the entire thing in his mouth.

Have fun, Eric, this is what you’re dealing with for god knows how long.

 

Anonymous asked: Have you ever thought that your are a game character? Created for multiple beyond the fourth wall beings that can manipulate and change, depending on their desires?

  


“ **No.** ”

[  **Gods** ] and all they entailed could only be accessed through means of technology, perhaps, but that did not make them fictional. Nor did that make him a machination of technology.

Nor any fourth wall beings.

He was no puppet.

 

Anonymous asked: You know, there's a certain list of features people like. Long legs. Smooth skin. Full red lips. Guess who has all of the above.

  


“ **Bold of you to imply that what is on my body is skin.** ”

 

* * *

 

[  **He** ] has casually eaten a two mile deep and one mile wide hole in the earth waiting for Sonic to come back with that chocolate bar. It was mostly rocks. He’d enjoy the crunch if he could, but he has no teeth.

 

 

> [newyorkvigilante](http://newyorkvigilante.tumblr.com/)

[  **Crime** ] came in all form. Petty or heinous, it existed. It would continue to exist, perhaps, so long as life did. To do something against what is right is something mortal temptation can push someone across the moral line to do. Or perhaps they were always across that line in the first place.

In cities, crime rates accumulated with a dissatisfied population. Either from capitalism or other social problems, it was bound to happen. But from this.. This was not a typical crime.

Someone was vandalizing the streets. Uprooting the lamp-posts, cement, and fire hydrants. Buildings remained untouched except for missing windows or even doors. It was one thing to hear of it.

It was another thing to see it in person.

Sure enough, the vandal was doing all such things. But not in a typical way. With stick-thick (or probably even lesser) arms and fingers, grasped into metal and decade old ashfaults and tore them out of their places as easily as someone could break a flower off of its stem.

And as he lifted them, his lips wrapped around the objects and  _ate them_. No chewing. Just a simple slide. His torso made no note of the streetlights he ate.

Nonetheless to say, he was a menace. His other-worldy and awful inhuman appearance wasn’t even the beginning of the warning signs there.

 

> Drake initially chalked the vandalism up to a shadow creature, or maybe even a gremlin of some sort. He never suspected it would be the…thing he was staring down right now. It was just so out of place. A crude parody of a man that looked like it was made in some ancient modeling program, grabbing whatever he could find and swallowing it whole. Drake didn’t really use the term “frightened” very often, but this was definitely a time where he would use it to describe his current state.
> 
> Carefully, he stepped toward the man, his hand hovering over the holster on his belt. He was just glad no one else was around to see this freak. Hopefully, it would be over quick, and he could be rid of the damn thing.

[  **It’s**  ] a good thing for Drake that he can’t smell fear. It’s less so a good thing that he’s seen enough frightened human-esque creatures to know what they’re like when scared. They’re defensive. Some turn to weapons, some turn to running. Telling from the way this human reached for something rather than fleeing, there would be a fight rather than flight.

He ate the bit of cement he’d ripped off of the ground whole before deciding to speak to the frightened animal.

  
  


“ _Woow! Technology’s amazing!_ ” 

He spoke in a froggish voice before promptly switching to something more reasonable, albeit crackled and corroded. 

“ **Dare to show**   **me what your bit of machinery there does.** ”

Well, he’s asking for it. That’s a good sign, right? Yeah, probably alright.

 

> Drake squinted. The thing was taunting him, like many other creatures had before. His eagerness to see him fire off his gun was too suspicious. He slowly let his hand drop back down by his side, and settled for crossing his arms at the humanoid.
> 
> “You know, cement’s not really part of a healthy diet. Of course, I don’t know what the hell you are or where you’re from, so maybe it IS healthy for you. Still, can’t have you chowin’ down on this city all willy nilly, can we? Here are your options; you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of  _willingly,_ and we won’t have any problems, or, I drag you back by your gross-ass lips. The choice is yours.”

  
  


[  **Raised**  ] eyebrows and a terrible smugness. The sausage-lips did not turn downward, moreso stayed at their height of surface level joy. 

_“Why don’t we do some fuuuun problems together? I loooove math problems, they’re my faaavorite!”_

Eyecontact unbroken, his arm and claws plucked into the ground below. To reach and grab for more ‘food’. The aura that quivered off his body in long strands licked at the ground in something either unholy or holy— only opinion would be able to tell.

As it meshed with the ground below him it showed nothing short of corruption. The remaining street underneath him was struggling in a sense, to keep its dignity about it. To rend itself into something like him— quality low and effort tiny— or something realistic and ‘normal’.

_“Question one, if I have one city and something eats it, how many cities do I have left?”_

There is no crunch when he stuffs something into his maw.

 

> “What the fuck…”
> 
> He was doing…something to the street; the very ground he touched. It was changing, being altered into some cruel parody of its former self. If this was spreading…he had to stop it at the source.
> 
> “I’ve got a better problem for you,” he replied, pulling his gun from the holster and aiming. “Nineties CGI freak show plus bullet equals what?”
> 
> He cocked back the hammer.
> 
> “Be sure to show your work.”
> 
> BANG
> 
> The whole street was illuminated by a nearly-blinding holy light. If this thing had any sort of demonic or even unholy bone in its body, it would definitely do some damage.
> 
> If not…who knows?

[  **Perhaps** ] to a gremlin or shadow creature it would’ve done something. To, perhaps, something unholy and not of incredible creation the bullet would’ve done something. Yes. Maybe. Maybe it would’ve. Maybe it would’ve splattered his brains out onto the sidewalk he ate and made rainbows come ripping out of his corpse.

But that wasn’t the case. Not with him.

_Because to have demonic bones, you needed to have bones first. ~~That and you needed to be a demon.~~_

The holy lead did not pass through his body and cause gore, nor did his eyes constrict from the sheer light it produced. Instead the bullet pressed against his torso, floating in the air and stopped. It did not make a dent in his form, nor did it bury into whatever ‘flesh’ he had. It just stayed there.

Then it reduced down into something like him. A compressed, floating image of a bullet. He didn’t even so much as touch it as it then moved on its own to get out of the green humanoid’s way.

  
  


_“That question’s impossible! Whoops! Also, you shouldn’t swear! I won’t get on you for it buuut if the principal hears you swearing I bet he’d give you detention.. Or worse, tell your parents! You don’t want thaaat!”_

This guy truly is horrifying. His threats even moreso.

 

Anonymous asked: hey baldi. I know something better to eat then the ground. eat a person. something rich. something that fights back. something you can work up an appetite for. something alive.

  


“ **I’ve already eaten live things. It matters not to me if it struggles and squirms. Mortals are in shorter supply compared to non-living or living physical matter, and creatures with larger brains know how to make more complex food. Which is what I am interested in most.** ”

[  **After** ] food went past the lips he could not taste or feel it anymore. It was simply gone. If something struggles in the void of him, he would be completely unaware.

Movement past the lips for any creature he comes across means death. Good thing he is so.. Benevolent.

..For now.

 

Anonymous asked: marry me baldi, i'll let you eat the two rings <3

 

## “ **..No.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: oh wow, baldi! you're getting married? i'm so happy for you! i can be your best man if you want

  


## “ **NO. I am NOT.** ”

[  **His** ] view on this joke is shown through fingers tightly wrapped around a sudden ruler.

 

[crxcxdile](https://crxcxdile.tumblr.com/post/174808531441/bxsiceducxtion-freedom-is-like-a)

>  
> 
> “ _Freedom is like a ill-gotten **reward**  if it’s only  **temporary** ; don’t you agree Mr. Baldi?_” Charles only met with Baldi a few times but as he slowly learned about their true nature; he wanted to see how much they could do with no limitations.
> 
> Charles spoke again; only this time something didn’t feel right with how he grew that smile on his face.
> 
> “ _Before you answer that let me ask you this; “If I **freed**  you, what is the first thing you’ll do? Please,  **speak**  your mind, I can only hide my  **enthusiasm** for so long._”

[  **What** ] was that meant to mean. Ill-gotten. As if he didn’t deserve what he’d received, as if he wasn’t deserving of this, as if he were some sort of cretin that’d gotten it through cheating. This was no cheat. 

He’s seen this man before. Perhaps there was something interesting in the way that the other looked at him without any smidgens of fear. The smile, perhaps venomous in ways that wouldn’t harm the more physically inhuman of the two.

“ **If you were the one to free me, I would’ve called you my star pupil and would hold a certain level of respect for you. Not as much as to listen to you or do as you request, but to think of you higher than other, imperfect creatures you wallow with. Then I would leave, do as I desired, when I desired. Nothing less than the reality you currently live in, in exemption to that first part.** ”

Eric was his current champion, and he held the title of the one to free him. That, more than likely, would not be changing.

_“You’re preeetty curious, huuuh?”_

Back to the terrible other voice he had.

 

Anonymous asked: wait, where’s Principal? Shouldn’t he be trying to stop you??

  


“ **He knows such things are frivolous and pain inducing. But I would enjoy watching him even so much as attempt to try.** ”

[  **A**  ] almost sick and sadistic sort of joy that would be. In the school he had little to no restraint on the principal when it came to punishment, and outdoors he had even less. Only his simple matter of his pure will and righteous moral.

 

[illiopfur](https://illiopfur.tumblr.com/) asked: Y'all going to accept my candy now or what I'll even add some weed brownies

  
  


“ **Yes.** ”

 

* * *

 

“ **Cronus ate his children out of paranoia of them usurping him, only because he’d usurped his father in the past. He consumed those lesser than him. Then he was brought down and imprisoned by his son, Zeus, freeing all those he’d eaten by slicing him open.** ”

[ **It** ] was a barely unnoticeable difference as his talons grew longer still, surged with power from unknown sources.

“ **One would wonder if any other gods fear their children as Cronus rightfully did.** ”

 

* * *

 

[  **Walking** ] into cities is a bad idea. When he’d walked into a city before it wasn’t as bad, but in the day time, it was much, much worse.  But he wouldn’t be able to tell one that. 

He was awfully, horribly confused. Moreso than he ever would be normally. He couldn’t hear. More importantly, he couldn’t think, and he slid around in tracks previously walked instead of forward.

Everyone here had phones. Mobile phones, ones they could just pull out of their pockets with ease. The talking wasn’t the problem. It was the buzz, the noise, the terrible noise of phones that they made that only he and others with sensitive ears could hear.

Nonetheless to say he made himself look like a moron and gave himself a terrible, nauseated feeling from the prolonged exposure to the abundance of noise. 

Not even when he was in his prison did he get that overloaded with sensation and confusion. Especially not for that long. It took him over half an hour of aimless, erratic movement to escape the noise of the phones.

 

 

[absxntdream](https://absxntdream.tumblr.com/) asked: jesus christ. he's become a rapid eating machine

  
  
  
  
  


 

Anonymous asked: Phones are the primary vector for internet access these days. What do you think of that?

  


“ **Phones have always been a way to access the internet. Dial-up is popular for a reason. But of all creations to evolve into something hand-held and easy to transport, why did it have to be phones?** ”

 

  


“ **…** ”

[  **…**  ]

Tagged:[#happy fathers day.](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/tagged/happy-fathers-day.)

Anonymous asked: How old are you?

  


“ **As of this present, I am seven thousand, nine hundred and twenty days old. Twenty two years.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: You've been stuck in that school since you were born?

  


“ **Created is the better term for my conception. I spent a week in the mortal realm before I was cast into the school. Apart from my current situation and possible futures, it was the better week of my existence.** ”

[  **He** ] remembers every single second of his week. Every single moment, every single decision he made.

 

Anonymous asked: I made you some lemon cookies. I hope you enjoy them.

  


[  **Gasp** ] . 

“ _Wooow! Thank you!_ ”

He eats all of them in one foul bite.

 

Anonymous asked: is sonic the hedgegog....ur founder

  


“ **…** ”

 

> [noturningbxck](https://noturningbxck.tumblr.com/) has crossed the event horizon.

[  **Surprisingly** ] , Sonic had given him a plethora of time to waste whilst he went off.. Getting foods. It was horribly out of character of him, from what he remembered, but it had been twenty two years. People changed, just as he had. Though the change was so.. Drastic. So incredibly different that it was almost like he was another Sonic entirely.

But he wasn’t one to question Sonic. He knew better, he knew not. So, he’d keep his questions to himself as to not appear as a lesser (despite that being what he was). Instead, as he waited, he took clumps out of the earth and put them into his mouth. 

That would certainly make him look like a higher being, right. Eating dirt.

It’d taken a while, but upon Sonic’s return, he was greeted proper. Not a single speck of dirt was upon Baldi’s mouth, but he sat in a hole now.

“ **Welcome back, founder.** ”

Oh, yeah, also Eric was there. 

 

>   Eric had been awkwardly watching Baldi eat dirt, trying to avert his gaze from the hungry beast. He had never known that Baldi was… Like this. He knew he was aggressive, but he had no idea he could do things like… This. He was wondering where Emma was… Probably either still at McDonalds or just looking for the new PlayStation. 
> 
>   Sonic appeared, abruptly as usual. His arms were full of chocolate bars, hopefully enough to keep this guy at bay. Eric let out a slightly startled noise as the hedgehog held out a candy bar.
> 
>  “I assume he didn’t eat anything else?” The hedgehog questioned, and Eric frantically shook his head ‘no’. He did not want to anger Baldi. Not now. Not again.

[  **He** ] ate a couple other things, but that doesn’t really- wait. 

  
  


Did Eric just.. Omit truth for him. From Sonic. He gave an awful, long stare at the child. Was it out of malice, this lie? What was it? What did Eric hope to gain from it? Maybe he didn’t know any better, knew not of what else he’d consumed? Then that’s a dangerous, criminal oversight.

Then his eyes look back to Sonic. And the candy. The sugar is more important than the child. He doesn’t know if he’s. Allowed to have it.

“ **..May I have the product of sugar, Founder.** ”

 

>   
> 
> 
>   Eric awkwardly stared back, finding it hard to avert his gaze. He just wanted Baldi to just. Not eat everything so he could leave and try to live a normal life. Somehow. He managed to stare at Sonic, before the hedgehog sighed.
> 
>   “Yeah, yeah. Here you go.”
> 
>  He casually placed the small pile of chocolate bars on the ground, taking an awkward step back. Thankfully he was warned by Eric about this guy’s… Abilities, so he didn’t really want to accidentally lay a finger on him.

[  **There’s** ] a cautious moment before his claws grasp at the gifts placed before him. In his grasp they corrode ever so slightly, much like the air did around him, but he acted quickly. Down the gullet of his void went one candy bar. Foil and all, he was not a picky eater.

Eye dilated and he was frozen. Stuck like a computer program would be when overloaded with too many requests.

  
  


He certainly seems happy. That’s good. Albeit quiet for the moment..

That moment hung for much too long before he went for another bar of candy, which the process repeated upon. Elongated awkward moments ensued until he managed to snarf down each and every single one.

His eyes did not shrink upon completion.

“ **Your mercy and compassion is endless even for those unfit. Thank you, Founder.** ”

His voice vibrates and shakes, like it were some leg of a restless person; bouncing up and down.

 

>  The two watch as he eats them, foil and all. It wasn’t unexpected, but it was still odd. Sonic placed a hand on his chin and went deep into thought. If this guy genuinely thought he was the founder, and didn’t want to anger him… Well, then he’d listen to whatever he’d say, right?
> 
>  Best find a good distraction for him.
> 
>   “Alright, Baldi. I scratched your back, and now you scratch mine.” He placed a hand on his hip, as Eric looked at the hedgehog in a puzzled manner. “You’re gonna help me deal with an  _annoying doctor’s_  toys.”
> 
>   “W-What are you doing?” Eric said, meekly. Sonic simply smirked at him, the ‘I think I know what I’m doing’ kind of smirk.

[  **Willing**  ] slave. Slave out of necessity. Bound and confined to orders, even now.. How sickening. Almost made him want to vomit.

  
  


“ **Yes, of course, Founder!** ”

He would find freedom one day. Exiting the school was the first step to absolution. The next.. Well, that’s for him to know and for Sonic to not. 

For now, he’ll bend to the hog’s might and shown holy rage. 

“ **I will happily do whatever task it is you order me to, no matter what it may entail. As your lesser, all I want is to please you and obey your rules, after all.** ”

Like a dog that knew his place.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   “Very well, then.”
> 
>  Eric felt like a bystander to a catastrophe. This could not end well. With his short time with the hedgehog, he seemed like he knew what he was doing, but… The boy just sighed and crossed his arms. He hoped that Emma would come back soon, he felt very… Out of place, without her. 
> 
>   “Follow me, if you can catch up.” Sonic said, smugly, before immediately running off. Eric was tempted to follow, but honestly, part of him knew something bad was going to happen, and he wanted to stay faaaar away from the fallout.

[  **Sonic** ] is running strangely. He does not have instant acceleration, Baldi noticed. Very. Very peculiar. Baldi followed after, yes, going from a standing zero to speed paralleled (but less to show respect) to the blue blur he followed.

Sonic’s legs are moving. Baldi’s are not. He slides. Sonic  _runs_. This is  _too_ out of the ordinary. More doubt pricked and rooted in his mind, settling in deep.

  
  


But he spoke not, and cared not about the child the two were leaving behind. Lead the way, Sonic.

 

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: [where is home](https://bxsiceducxtion.tumblr.com/post/175137967534/hellishsuggestion-i-feel-misplaced-i-want-to-go) Baldi?

“ **…** ”

[  **It** ] was harsh to say he had none. The school was no home, it was a prison. The outside world allowed for great freedom, but no security.. Especially with the Founder watching over him.

“ **Not here.** ”

The god-like realm, hopefully, would be his home. But even just thinking about going back there brought him.. Unpleasant thoughts. So, perhaps, that would not be his home either.

He’s smart. Though this is no absolute truth, he’ll figure it out.

 

Anonymous asked: mr baldi what comes after death

  


“ _You don’t have to worry about that for now!_ ”

 

Anonymous asked: I want to feel bad for you Baldi. But after all you’ve done, maybe you deserve to stay locked away.

  


[  **His** ] expression was more than telling. He had shed himself of guilt nonexistant, of any major bearings or feeling of ‘deserving’ to be incarcerated for as long as he had.

“ **I will not be imprisoned again. Spare me from your mortal pity for tragedies that will never occur.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: For something that's never meant to have fear, you sure are fearful of Sonic.

  


[  **There’s** ] constriction. In his eyes so much so that they appeared human rather than fish-like and uncanny. 

He had claimed himself above fear. Above all things mortal that fell under the same jurisdiction that fear did. He was no mortal, he assured himself and was honest in knowing, he was a god.

He does not feel fear. 

He knows he does not. That is in whole-hearted truth, absolutely unshakable. Firm as any absolute truth would be.

“ **You know not of which you speak, you assume things untrue. I have no reason to be fearful— nor can I in the first place— of the Founder. He has graced me with his mercy. My subservience is not out of fear, it is out of respect for him.** ”

Respect gained from love, respect gained from fear.

In the end both were defined as the same word.

 


	7. 6/25 - 6/26

Anonymous asked: Is something wrong? Is someone doubting Sonic?

  


“ **No, no, of course not. He is a purveyor of absolute logic and truth. Higher than any other, he is impossible to doubt. I do not doubt him, I am not ill-informed or moronic.** ”

[  **No** ] matter what minute changes Sonic has undergone, he would refuse to doubt. Perhaps there was no change nor progress, and his memory had corrupted itself over the years of internment. Though, considering his perfection as a god, that was highly unlikely.

Perhaps, he reasoned, Sonic had taken on a more mortal-like form simply to make himself more.. Appealing? Comprehensible to the realm he dwelled in, something less godly as to not frighten smaller minds?

That sounds like something he would do.

 

* * *

 

>   
> 
> 
>   He only glanced at the other to take in Baldi’s speed. His odd movements. That same sliding. What… Was this guy? He obviously wasn’t human. More questions later. First, he had to take advantage of this situation. Since Sonic didn’t have to wait for Baldi (though, Baldi’s speed… Did kind of alarm him…), it didn’t take long for them to come upon a medium-sized base, surrounded by the usual Badniks. Eggrobos, Buzz Bombers, Motobugs… They were all around, and probably inside, as well.
> 
>  “See those badniks?” He points at them. “I could easily take them out myself, but I wanna… Er,  _test you_.” Gotta speak like a founder. “Yeah, math is all good, but since you’ve been…  **Stuck**  at that school for so long, I just want to make sure your reflexes are still good. So, go on and destroy them. And the base.”

[  **His** ] stop was instantaneous. On a dime, there was no loss of acceleration. It went from a high number to an immediate zero, causing a whiplash of wind to follow his stopped presence. Sonic did not reckon the same. Still strange.

Sonic’s question struck him as nothing short of odd. His reflexes.. Of all things, of all things he’d expected from the Founder, he’d expected tests of.. Something other than physical capabilities.

Sonic had said he didn’t want him eating buildings as well.

“ **…** ”

He’ll keep it to himself.

“ **Yes, of course.** ”

His lips separated from his face and hovered before stretching and elongating across the entirety of the base’s area. They stayed thin as they moved across, hovering just above the building.

Then they clamped, turning into a straight line. The entire building that once stood between the top and bottom of his lips had completely disappeared. With a float back to his face, the ‘man’ spoke.

“ **I hope that first movement is within acceptable action.** ”

The entire fucking building is gone. There’s still some badniks around, though. If robots could be bewildered, they probably would be.

 

>   
> 
> 
>  “…”
> 
>  Okay, he should’ve expected that. But actually witnessing it..? He resisted the urge to slowly put his hands up to his mouth in shock. While… This was a good thing for him, and Sonic knew that Robotnik didn’t really have any living workers… But it just felt… Odd. His gut was giving him this bad feeling. Holding back an awkward wheeze, he nodded.
> 
>  “…Yes.”
> 
>  
> 
> ##   “…’’
> 
>  The badniks that were patrolling had very limited AI, but the fact that the building they were protecting was just… Gone, without much of a trace, did leave them… Confused. They all looked around, before they eventually locked onto Sonic and his… ‘Pal.’
> 
> ** >DIRECTIVE  
>   >DESTROY SONIC & ACCOMPLICE**
> 
>  They all began to approach. There was a fairly large platoon of them as well. No wonder Sonic chose this base. It was big, but certainly not as big as Robotropolis.

[  **Ruler** ] , tool of absolutes and unbreakable upon mortal flesh. Justice to those moronic enough to approach and make their malicious, wrathful desires known to those that held authority.

Knowledge is power.

He had plenty of both.

Instant acceleration left a inertial wind whiplash as he went from zero to probable hundreds in miliseconds. The ground that’d been directly below his feet did not crumble from the force, but that only seemed due to the temporary corrosion he left as he’d stood there. 

With each smack of his ruler, with each second that passed, he’d crushed the badniks like they were nothing more than the bugs they resembled. Even the flying ones were no match— whether Baldi had jumped to reach them or had simply levitated was unknown with the speed he had moved. Each strike so powerful that it’d almost remove a badnik from existence entirely.

Metal.

He could shatter metal in a hit.

Then, just like that, he was done, and returned to Sonic’s side. Pixel perfect on the place where he’d situated himself before.

“ **I’ve done as you’ve asked, Founder,** ” a scrapyard of false limbs and oil infront of them, presented with apparent pride, “ **I hope you find this acceptable as well.** ”

 

>  Where did that Ruler come from.
> 
>  Sonic watched in silence as he watched the Badniks fall like literal flies. None of their attacks worked on him, ranged or physical. They let out screeching noises as they were swiftly destroyed, and fell apart as if they were made out of weaker material. Sonic could spindash through several at a time, yes, but….
> 
>  …This was… Too odd. Even for Sonic. Sonic was about to reply, but–
> 
> ##  “WHAT?!”
> 
>  Oh, there he was. [Robotnik](https://badnikcreator.tumblr.com/), in all of his glory, in his eggmobile. He must’ve just showed up. He was in absolute shock. He thought it was just a glitch, when one of his bases literally fell right off of the radar. But nope, the base, and the badniks that surrounded it, were gone and/or destroyed. Sonic quickly got into a somewhat defensive stance as he turned towards the man, but did nothing else.
> 
>   “Sonic, what did you do!?” A mixture of anger and shock was in his voice as he glared at Baldi. “And what the heck is that…  _Abomination!?_ Why do you keep befriending freaks, hedgehog!? _”_

“ **Founder, you have let your** _ **pet**_ **out of his pen? How generous of you to allow such a lower creature such as him to roam free for fleeting moments!** ”

[  **Lower** ] , lower. Obstacle. Obstacle, disgusting obstacle was what he was. That was what ‘Robotnik’ was considered. Obstacle. Obstacle to knowledge, man of a unbridled disease known as arrogance. Infectious to a terrible degree, especially to those young.

He only lived in such a pampered place because of the Founder’s mercy. To see him so angry and accusatory was nothing short of blasphemy. Rampant, obvious.

Horrid and vile.

“ **He spits so at you. He has forgotten his place and situation, to my eyes, Founder. You need not move yourself, if you so wish I will take heed and care of him for you. At your command, as I am your servant.** ”

 

>   
>    
> 
> 
>   “…”
> 
>   Both Robotnik and Sonic looked at Baldi in a very awkward manner. Pet? Servant? What the hell’s going on? Robotnik threw another harsh glare at Sonic.
> 
>   “What the heck have you been telling this guy?” He huffed.  
>        “What? I haven’t told him nothin about you.” Sonic replied, crossing his arms. “You ain’t worth bringing up–”
> 
>  It was quick and abrupt, but the eggmobile shot a laser out at Sonic, whom promptly and easily dodged it, unharmed. The hedgehog let out a small ‘tch’ noise and crossed his arms.
> 
>  “I donno, Baldi. Rough him up a bit.” …Very specific, Sonic.  
>    “Are you serious? Is that your name? Baldi? …Wow. That’s. Actually kinda sad.” Robotnik awkwardly piped up, obviously more confused than frightened.

[  **Was** ] that an actual attack. An attack against his Founder. A direct attack? Oh, like the gates of hell unlocked and finally burst forth with their demons and kings, that’s what his rage could be amounted to.

Just as fast as he’d destroyed those badniks, he’d gotten onto Robotnik’s little stupid eggmobile. Long, near-human claws dug into the sides as he was already around its rim like a horrible spider-person. They scratched long tears at the foundations of the metal like it were a knife through butter.

He cared not for the attack upon himself, but the attack upon the Founder was heinous, even if moronic in how purposeless it was. The Founder could not feel pain. It was the malice and attempt that mattered.

With further furrowed brows, he unattached himself from the side of the eggmobile, for only a moment. Ruler in hand, a swing and hit against the metal would prove itself..

Well, it would rough Robotnik up a bit, to say the least. If the shattering metal didn’t hurt enough, then the landing from the force would certainly be bruising.

 

>   
> 
> 
>    Oh. Oh. Oh no. 
> 
>  Robotnik let out a panicked yelp when Baldi was suddenly upon him – How– How fast was this creature! Intense fear washed over him as the other ripped through his rather powerful eggmobile as if it was nothing. He had no idea how Sonic could even… Come across such a creature. Was it alien? It certainly couldn’t be from this world. 
> 
>  As questions raced through his mind, he quickly noticed the ruler as the other moved from the side. He could barely let out a yelp as he was almost sent flying, and skid in the dirt as he tumbled from the force. Sonic felt… Very conflicted. Like. Yeah it was kinda funny, but at the same time… A bit cruel. Even for the ‘hero villian’ relationship they had. Sonic awkwardly walked next to Robotnik.
> 
>  “…You still alive ther–”
> 
> ##  SMACK.
> 
> _“O W ! ! !”_
> 
>  Sonic’s hand immediately went to his own cheek, as Robotnik grumbled. The man had smacked him, and Sonic mostly yelped out in shock. Robotnik slowly managed to get up, angrily brushing himself off.
> 
>  “Did you really just smack me, Robuttnik!? That’s low, even for you!” Sonic growled.  
>      “Hey, I’m not the one who threw an abomination at you!” Robotnik retorted.

[  **He** ] had placed himself on the ground as it happened.

A smack. A strike.

Then. A deafening noise. Something that would confuse him and disorient him even more than any phone would.

‘Ow’, he’d said. The Founder had felt pain. Pain. Pain.  _Pain_. From something lesser. Something insignificant. Something like Robotnik, with a simple attack. Something that should’ve reconfigured every atom in his hand into a nerve that sent pain signals up to the man’s tiny brain.

But it didn’t. The Founder had gotten hurt.

_And gods do not feel pain._

“ **You have** _ **lied**_ **to me. You have deceived something far more powerful than your feeble comprehension, mortal. Skinwalker, duplicate, whatever you may be, you have cheated. You have smeared the Founder with your actions, and have used me for your gain. You have committed heresy and atrocity of the highest degree against a holy being willing to smite.** ”

His claws are excited. His entire being rumbles with desire, with pure and unadulterated righteous, karma rage. If he would never be allowed to do this again, he would claim his opportunity as it had shown itself.

He would rage until twenty two years had spent themselves. He would adjust himself, and this criminal would be his canvas of self-expression. 

“ **You are not the Founder as you have claimed. For your deceit, I will do unto you as you rightfully deserve. Whisper your prayers to me, as I am the last god your dying eyes will see.** ”

 

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: Don't attack Sonic, he was nice to you!

  


“ **Priority. Facts over feelings. It matters not how I was treated, it matters what he has done against me. My intuition was correct, and he had continuously twisted my hope to believe him to be something he is not. That is unforgivable.** ”

[  **Hope** ] over hope, that is what’d kept him. Hope that the Founder had changed, hope that he’d earned, finally, a place of praise. But no. That was stripped from him. Those were lies.

As he’d wanted it to be genuine. He knew they were harsh near-impossibilities.

“ **If I destroy him, the true Founder will see I am loyal to him and grant me mercy for being so naive.** ”

 

Anonymous asked: You know. The founder might be pissed off that you’re about to kill a fellow hedgehog.

  


“ **The Founder cares not for his clones. They are nothing more than facades of his purity.** ”

[  **The** ] Founder doesn’t care at all. Not for anything other than perfection.

 

Anonymous asked: Maybe you should’ve been more observant about this hedgehog, you dumb dumb :/

  


“ **I was observant, I was just not meant to doubt him no matter what he does!** ”

[  **Blind** ] , mandatory faith. Unquestioning servant, he was. Or.. Well, had been.

 

* * *

 

>   The two froze when the other spoke.
> 
>  Sonic felt this terrible, terrible feeling of dread go through his entire body as Baldi spoke. The jig was up, and the other certainly wasn’t happy about it. He was about to glare and yell at Robotnik, but the man seemed as scared as him. Robotnik awkwardly backed up, letting out an awkward laugh.
> 
>  “Well, uh. Toodaloo Sonic, I’ll… I’ll  _maybe_  see you later.  **Bye.** ”
> 
>  The man quickly ran for what seemed like for his life (could you blame him?) as Sonic was just. Left alone with Baldi after a moment. Sonic defensively put his hands up in front of him. He was usually very confident, but… Baldi about matched his speed. He just witnessed the other eat an entire building and destroy badniks in mere moments. His head began to hurt, badly.
> 
>   “I… I uh…” He desperately looked for words. “I… I never said I _was_ the founder, I just–…” Sonic began to back away from the other. “C-Can you maybe chill? It’s not like I… It’s not like I… Er… … …”
> 
>  He was terrified, to put it bluntly.

“ **You will stay and _watch_. Man who peddles in danger he does not fully understand until it is upon him, maybe you will learn something from my display. If you allow so, it will keep you from danger in future, equally moronic attempts.** ”

[  **In** ] seconds he was off, after the man who dared to flee. He did not circle around to Robotnik’s front, but rather, stayed behind him. 

If the wind wasn’t telling enough to Baldi’s presence, then the slap of his ruler against Robotnik’s legs certainly were. Obliterated instantenously with horrible crunch, it was. He’d literally busted the fellows kneecaps from the back. The smack was one, but it’d reached bother as to incapacitate the man. Keep him from walking.

If he’d wanted to flee he’d have to crawl like the worm he was.

“ _Lets learn_ **what happens after death!** ”

 The sentence gave a second to run, Sonic, you’d better use it.

 

>   “Wh– Wha–”
> 
> Robotnik could barely react, as his legs abruptly failed him. The crunch noise was terrible. In fact, below the kneecaps, Robotniks legs actually broke off… But there was no blood, interestingly enough. The ends fell onto the ground with harsh CLANK noises. Sonic watched in shock as Robotnik began to  _roll off,_  the ends of his  **artificial legs**  sparking like crazy as he did.
> 
>   “GhAGHAGH— SONIC,  _RUN_ baHYUI–”
> 
>   He didn’t need to be told twice. Sonic quickly spin-dashed away at full speed, uncurling as he began to lose momentum and run away faster.

[  **A**  ] horrid noise, much like one akin to some sort of engine, emanated from Baldi as he stood and allowed a..  _Jumpstart_ on this chase. The noise ceased as soon as he spoke.

“ **To live or learn, you will learn.** ” 

Just like that, he was after Sonic with his slide. This time, he did not hold back as to trail the false god. He would not dare to keep himself from a maximum when in a fatal chase like this.

He would, however, take time for himself to.. Indulge in  _hateful_ fantasy. He pulled to the side of Sonic but no further, facing him with a still and continuous acceleration.

“ **Oh ‘Founder’, why do you flee so? Is it, perhaps, that you fear me? Do you!? Run from me faster, run from the tool of your permanent demise!** ”

Run as fast as you can, Sonic, but he would catch you and obliterate you just as he’d done to Robotnik’s legs.

 

>   Was he scared? Yes.  
>       Was it obvious in his expression? Yes.  
>          Would he say anything? No.
> 
>   Sonic began to run as fast as he absolutely could, doing his figure-8 technique. He glared at Baldi. How could a kid accidentally release this into the world with just solving math problems?! Dust kicked up behind Sonic as he began to push himself to his limits, as he attempted to throw Baldi off of his trail by moving in erratic patterns. He wasn’t stopping for nothing.
> 
>  His cause of death would NOT be this… Thing. No, no. He wasn’t going to die today. He refused. He wasn’t going to let this thing win.

[  **Sonic** ] was fast. Baldi was relentless. The erratic movements only slowed him as much as they slowed Sonic to do. At this point, the chase seemed less for immediate death and more for sadistic amusement. Less like a predator chasing prey and more like a child tormenting a small animal— albeit with the same end intent as the former simile.

Through forests one would expect him to get lost. He did not. Through plains one would expect him to get tired. Across water one would expect him to not be able to slide over it. That didn’t happen either. No matter where Sonic managed to run, Baldi followed with a sickening grin, enjoying the futile chase for no other reason that the fact that it was happening in the first place.

Now, they were at a near cliffside. At the bottom of it. Not a canyon, moreso like a cliff that was near to an ocean. Albiet the ocean was still fair in how far away it was. Sonic was running amongst the sand, parallel to the rock walls.

“ **Poor ‘Founder’, you run so much yet you are still seconds from a reckoning most deserved! Your struggle is saddening, really, so I will do you a favor and put you out of your misery!** ”

Finally he’d taken a lead after tormenting Sonic for so long. He was now ahead. Blocking off the ocean with his angle and the path ahead by where he was situated.

Only one way to go, hog.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   He had to keep running. He was warned by Eric that if he even touched the other, something…  _Terrible_  would happen with him. If that kid hadn’t warned him, he would’ve had attempted to spin dash into Baldi many times by now. 
> 
>  However, even the fastest of mortals lose their energy.
> 
>  Sonic didn’t even realize what Baldi was doing – Leading him to a dead end. He practically realized this too late as he saw the wall. Red shoes dug into the sand as he attempted to skid to a halt, but all that did was make him hitting the wall less deadly to him. He slammed right into the wall, falling down in a harsh daze. A bit of blood trickled from his nose as he coughed, shaking and injured.
> 
>  He was so tired. Everything ached. Sonic shut his eyes, not wanting to see what would happen next.   
> 
>     “Wh… What the **hell** are you?” He managed to murmur, his blood dripping down onto the sand.

[  **Just** ] as he wanted. Sonic just literally smacked into a rock wall. It was quite the humorous sight. Just.  _SMACK_. The question struck him even more to be humorous as he slightly slid over to the exhausted and (more than likely) incapacitated hedgehog.

“ **I am**   **the second highest**   **god.** ”

He approached and placed one set of claws onto Sonic, leaning over and taking a position much more dynamic than his previous ones. The touch corroded, but at a reasonably slower rate. Like he wasn’t actively trying to make Sonic into.. What others had turned into.

“ **I am pure, I am holy.** ”

He raised his ruler with his other hand.

“ **I am rapture.** ”

Then brought it down to a mighty crack.

A crack splintering and fatal, a crack loud as thunder, perhaps, to the one who wielded it. 

A crack that signified his ruler had just broken upon Sonic’s body.

 

 

>  He visibly winced when he felt the others touch. It just… Didn’t feel right. His ears pressed down against his head in fear as he heard the other spoke. He would’ve spat at the other, saying that they have no idea what ‘pure’ is. Sonic didn’t want to accept his fate. He suddenly felt weightless. All noises became muffled. He opened his eyes slightly, and all he could see was blackness.
> 
>  Was he… Dead? He fell into a sea of nothingness as Baldi raised his ruler, ready to strike him. The hedgehog became limp and seemingly lifeless for a moment, but the moment that ruler made the smallest contact with his head…
> 
>  …Things changed.
> 
>  The ruler splintered and cracked as if it was any normal ruler. The hedgehog slowly got up. The blood that was dripping from his nose stopped. The corrosion from the others touch. Everything suddenly stopped. In a mere millisecond, the hedgehog had… Noticeably changed. A tired and worried frown had turned into a casual side-smirk, and his presence. His aura. 
> 
>   It would become much more familiar to Baldi.
> 
>  The hedgehog’s eyes were suddenly open. His eyelids were seemingly… Gone. With his eyes lifeless yet staring directly at Baldi. That smirk stayed in its place as the being began to casually hover a few inches off of the ground.
> 
>   
> 
> 
>  His voice, child, coy, and robotic. But held much more weight all of the sudden.
> 
>   “ _You’ve been busy!_ ” He piped up, his mouth not even moving as he spoke. His arms moved to his own sides, as his head tilts to the side ever so slowly and slightly. “ _Has it really **only**  been twenty two years? Wow! I expected the Schoolhouse to trap you for much, MUCH longer. Ah, well._”

[  **There** ] is a legitimate gasp from him when his name is spoken. Had it been from a mortal he would’ve been overjoyed to hear it, but the tone and the horrible voice that spoke it made him stumble back.

Stumble.

He used his legs. He did not slide. He moved back like any normal human would, crumpling slightly into himself as if to show direct and obvious submission to something stronger than he was. His one hand gripped onto his broken ruler whilst the other held his claws outwards like he was about to defend himself.

The words themselves are.. Chilling. The Founder expected him to be trapped for longer. He wanted him imprisoned for longer.

  
  


“ **Founder, I.. I was.. I didn’t make a mistake. I was not at fault. The mortal deceived me. **I’m what you want now.**  I am perfect, please,  _please_ Founder.**”

His tone has entirely changed. He needs to beg. He can’t fight the Founder. He can’t destroy him. He can’t outrun him. He just needs to try, try futilely to reach any sort of sympathy or pity he can, or reason with someone infinitely reasonable.

 

* * *

 

Anonymous asked: Hi, Baldi. You're fucked.

  


[  **The** ] sinking realization dug its talons deep into him, causing his hands and own claws to tremble in a most human way. Both now clutch to his broken ruler as to keep him even slightly comforted.

It does not help at all.

 

Anonymous asked: I suppose now you’re like Principal. Begging for life, like a dog. You said it yourself.

  


“ **…** ”

[  **He** ] has to. He is a dog, but the difference is that he’s an obedient one. He followed commands from someone who looked and sounded exactly like his ‘owner’, it was not his fault for being confused.

It wasn’t his fault.

He didn’t make a mistake.

He’s perfect.

 

* * *

 

>   
> 
> 
>     Silence. The god hovered in place for a moment, looking the other up and down. The abomination hadn’t changed one bit. The fact that Baldimore looked more uncanny than even the oldest of gods was… Certainly something. But he was no god. The hedgehog tilted his head to the other side.
> 
>   “ _Ah. You forget about my hosts, Baldimore._ ” His arms made a jolted ‘shrugging’ movement.  _“At first, I felt like you knew it was me, in that mortal body. Many other people were fooled, though. The ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ of this world played along, interestingly enough. I saw through his eyes as you ate mortal dirt, lakes, and even buildings. You do know I’m not **merciful**  enough to offer you candy. You do know I would simply smite someone or thing that was in my way, not sick an  **inbred dog**  onto it.”_
> 
>  The god was suddenly right next to Baldimore, trying to put a harsh, gripping hand on the others shoulder. Baldimore’s disgusting corruption wouldn’t phase him.
> 
>   “ _Funny. How you can’t get out of a cell without the help of a rejected god. Then again, you are no god. **Gods are perfect, mortals strive to be perfect**._ ”

[  **Instinct** ] was something mortals had. Calmness in even the darkest situations was something only a god (upon birth) or a highly trained person could obtain. 

With the way he moved back and away from the Founder’s touch in an act of thoughtless action really cemented what he was. He could not keep calm, he could not keep himself collected in the face of the only thing stronger than him.

  
  


“ **Founder, I am a god..** ”

The denial was entirely meek in tone and weak in how it sounded. Because fear laced his features and guided his hands to squeeze onto what little defense he had left.

“ **It has been years, I just believed you’d changed because I do not question you. Please..** ”

 

>   Schoolhouse was normally a very casual god. Gifting knowledge upon those who wanted it. However, gods did not like any possible mistakes. They all tried to hide mistakes, ranging from small mistakes to very large ones. Schoolhouse was unfortunate to give a man too much knowledge, and the tumor that festered off of him…
> 
>   …Was standing right in front of him.
> 
>   “ _Twenty two years truly isn’t that long. At least for gods._ ” He waggled his finger, a trademark of the series he resembled. “ _However, if you truly came from my knowledge, you know that what you’ve done can harm mortals…  
>   …However, judging by the  **other founders**  reports, you sure do like tormenting mortals who get your questions wrong, don’t you?_”

[  **The** ] other founder.. The other founder was keeping an eye on him? Watching what he did in the school?

Also, when twenty two years was as long as he’d fucking  _existed_ for, it’s pretty long.

  
  


“ **..No.. I.. Do not torment them, I remove them from my facility through my ruler. The only torment I’d inflicted was upon the mortal that shared your skin, as to truly teach him what a mistake he’d made.** ”

He’d needed a perfect student. Even one mistake costed him potential freedom, and he simply could not have had that. He simply could not stay locked away any longer than he had, he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand the void outside the window being his only version of the outdoors.

“ **Please, Founder. Please. I just wish to serve you like I am supposed to. Please allow me to.** ”

He wanted to be free. He had to beg for it. He needed to be free. He  _needed_ to be free.

 

>  Something spiked from within at the others comment. The fool was lying. Lying to him? The reason he even existed? Disgusting. Deplorable. Even the mortals who spoke to him most recently knew that this fool was a disgusting teacher. The lowest of lows. Schoolhouse’s pupils widened, not unlike how Baldi’s could, as his voice became much deeper. Much  _godlier._
> 
>   “ **I watched upon you with my own eyes as you broke that man’s artificial legs. I heard what happened to those who touched you. They were all suffering, Baldimore. The fact that you have such a terrible reaction to your students getting a question ‘wrong’ is disgusting. You tell them to try again and be accepting.**
> 
> **You fail at being a god, and you fail at being a teacher.** ”

  
  


“ **…** ”

[  **Failed** ] . He failed. He’d tried, he conformed to laws strict to make him the way he was, and he’d failed because he was obedient. It didn’t make any sense. He’d done as what was required of him. 

Why. Why had he failed for doing everything properly. Why had he failed. It doesn’t make any sense. He’d tried cheating, he’d tried talking, he’d tried. He’d tried. 

For twenty two years.

He failed.

“ **I.. I thought that’s what you wanted. That that’s what I was supposed to do. I couldn’t do anything else..** ”

The Founder’s rage and dilated pupils frightens him further and he took another step back. No slide. Actual, legitimate movement. His voice came off much more like a guilty sounding child now, trying to stave off a lashing from a belt.

 

>   It was abrupt, but Schoolhouse turned back to ‘normal’, his pupils the size they should be, that smile returning to the side of his face, still unmoving as he spoke in his coy, childish voice.
> 
>   “ _Baldimore. Lets make this easier for both of us. I take you back to the schoolhouse. No other punishment is given. How about that? Doesn’t that sound nifty and simple? Just like simple addition!_ ”
> 
>  His change and tone was disturbing. Interesting, how he wanted to avoid conflict despite the fact that he basically started this conflict. Twenty two years ago. He had to make sure that this didn’t happen again. Schoolhouse was a respected god, his ego and his reputation would NOT be tainted by this abomination. A mortal with godly powers should not exist. Simple as that.

  
  


[  **Through** ] shaken voice, frightened demeanor, he had no reason to question the sudden change in mood. All he was present with was the question he was meant to answer.

“ **..No.** ”

Loss of freedom was the worst punishment of all. He could not have it.

So, of course, he bolted. He whipped from the sands and pulled towards the ocean with speed that split wind and left a telling trail behind him as he retreated as fast as he could.

A signifying bang as he crossed the sound barrier in mere seconds. 

Running is futile.

But he needs to cling to freedom for as long as he possibly could, no matter the cost to himself.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   He knew this would happen. A starving dog did not like its food being taken away from it once it has tasted meat.
> 
>  Part of the god wanted to toy with him, as he did with the hedgehog he temporarily inhabited. However, it was not wise. Despite being a disgusting abomination, Baldi still could not be hurt. Neither could Schoolhouse. Schoolhouse was much more powerful than Baldimore, though. He would make this simple.
> 
>  He gave Baldi a minute to run. To attempt to lap up more dirt or whatever. Then, he appeared, right on top of Baldis head, not affected by Baldi’s momentum whatsoever. Mortal laws did not bind either of them.
> 
> **_“Did you really just turn down my kindness? You really are like the worst of mortals.”_ **
> 
> His foot raised and attempted to stomp down on Baldi’s head, in an attempt to knock him forward into the ground and  **keep him there.**

[  **Oh** ] . Now he’s in a bunch of dirt. Like a person who just straight up fell like a vertical stick into a pool, he was surrounded by it. The instant he stopped caused him to actually skid forward through the dirt. The sheer force needed to go somewhere, after all.

  
  


He couldn’t stay in the ground. He had to keep running. So he picked up and squabbled from the dirt as fast as he could in an attempt to escape his attacker. He needed to be free.

Desperately.

He had to run. He couldn’t be kept here. But his precious moments spent recovering were ones easily spent by the force attempting to catch him.

 

>   He watched his struggles. Baldi was one of the very few that Schoolhouse hated deeply, so it brought him a bit of joy seeing him suffer, he hated to admit it. He was a god of knowledge. This… Being was nothing to him. He may have been spawned by his knowledge, but he would get zero sympathy. 
> 
>  Schoolhouse, effortlessly, was upon Baldi again, and harshly grabbed his little neck, squeezing it as if it was the bottom of a balloon. 
> 
>    “ _Now, now._ ” He hedgehog waggled his finger. “ _I’m going to make sure this never happens again. First–_ ”
> 
>  With his free hand, he snapped his fingers, and Eric just… Popped up right next to the hedgehog. He blinked, before yelping in shock when he saw what was going on.
> 
>   “W-W-What’s going on-!?” He stammered, stumbling back. “S-Sonic, y… How are you not turning into something weird, you’re touching him–!!!”
> 
>  “ _…Ah. The schoolhouse had changed you from your original form greatly, it seems. Figures, since you were a **weaker, unfinished**  god. Where is that antagonist of yours, anyways?_” Schoolhouse questioned.
> 
>  “…W… What?” Eric replied, obviously not understanding a word the god said.

[  **He** ] didn’t need his throat to breathe. Here, he finally let go of his ruler and grasped fully onto Sonic’s wrist with his claws in an attempts to free himself, struggling and wheezing from legitimate panic.

Eric was a god? He was a child. He was a child who freed him. Eric held value to him. He’d freed him. He garnered a level of respect from the man currently being held up by his neck. 

The words the Founder spoke, saying that he’d ensure this wouldn’t happen again..

“ **Eric, _run_.** ”

It’s fruitless, but the request is genuine in what it is meant to entail. Safety. 

 

>   Did Baldi… Just address him from his name? 
> 
>  Eric’s eyes lit up with a mixture of shock and fear. What? He was about to heed the others words, his short legs ready to run as fast as he could before he could lose stamina, but Schoolhouse was calculated. He was fast. Thankfully, Sonic was tucked away in his own mind, so he wouldn’t see this.
> 
>   “ _This may hurt! Get ready!_ ”
> 
>  With that, Schoolhouse placed a hand on Eric’s chest, and simply… Gently pushed. What happened next only happened for a full second.
> 
>  …But judging by that one second, Eric was in immeasurable pain as he seemingly ascended into somewhere that Baldi did not know of. He couldn’t even scream out in pain. He was just. Gone. Only Schoolhouse knew where he was. He casually turned back to Baldi, his smile only widening. 
> 
>   “ _You know. Feeling bad for him is a very mortal thing to do._ ”

  
  


“ **…** ”

[  **His** ] only passing student. Gone. Just.. Casually taken from him in a blaze of horrible glory. He’d transformed people himself before, but this particular one, just.. The sudden disappearance struck him as troubling.

He’d achieved freedom just as Baldi had. Now wherever he was, no doubt he’d be locked away in some sort of form. Forever. Or, perhaps, he’d just been annihilated entirely.

“ **He didn’t have any part in this. You have hurt a child who has done nothing except succeed. Yet you call me cruel..** ”

His voice was still obviously panicked. His struggling ceased and he hung more limp now, still gripped tight onto the Founder’s wrist. Like he was trying to cause nonexistent pain.

 

>   
> 
> 
>  That statement got to him.  **Really**. This abomination was lecturing him. For transporting one kid someplace. He wasn’t a kid anyways, he was an incomplete god. Schoolhouse would ask the others what they would do with him. But any sort of god, incomplete or not, should not be casually roaming the mortal realm. His grip somehow tightened more, as if it wasn’t tight enough.
> 
>   “ ** _Like you’re the one to judge. You are a disgusting mortal with godly power that you shouldn’t even have. Like you, he should not be roaming mortal ground. I sealed you away in that schoolhouse. Twenty two years. I gave you an entire week before I threw you into that place. You are a danger to everyone around you, and–_** ”
> 
>  The sound of a can opening was heard, as a large splotch of blue suddenly flung Baldi out of Schoolhouse’s hand. Schoolhouse’s mouth widened in rage as his head snapped towards the perpertrator, holding a now empty can of BSoda.
> 
>    “Hey. Maybe he is an asshole. How about you stop with the cryptic stuff and just tell him why you threw him in there, huh? Like. Other than the obvious reasons.”

[  **Oh**  ] , it’s… A girl. That one girl.

For once those sodas were useful. Actually pushed him out of the Founder’s grip. Even if it was.. Like.. Not hurting or killing him whatsoever. He eventually fell from the soda’s cloud, and collected himself as quickly as possible.

  
  


“ **..You never told me what I did wrong. Why you imprisoned me in a school for twenty two years. You just put me there and left.** ”

He’s in no position to be asking things. But he will anyways. Because today he’s been doing so many things against rules he set himself. He might as well.

“ **I.. Want to know why you hated me so much, Founder.** ”

 

>   
> 
> 
>   Schoolhouse stared at Baldimore for the longest time. Did he deserve an explanation? Feh. It’s not like he could even tell the other gods, so. Knowledge was power, he guessed that since this event totally wouldn’t happen again, he would grace him with an answer.
> 
>    _“Well. If you want it so bad. I gave knowledge to the other founder. From the founders head, you fell off. At first, I was shocked. This shouldn’t have happened. The other gods will be mad with me. But. I decided to give you a chance, Baldimore. After the other founder forced me to name you, I showed you around the worlds._
> 
>   _ **But all you did was eat. All you did was corrupt.**_
> 
> _I gave you a week. I thought it was just a temporary side effect of your creation, but I realized the danger you would cause to mortals. So, me and the other founder threw you into that schoolhouse. Where you were meant to stay forever. Now…_ ”
> 
>  He was suddenly in front of Emma. She let out a gasp, getting out another can of BSoda and spraying it at him, but of course, it had no effect. The hedgehog did what he did to Eric. Put a hand on her chest and push.
> 
>   Only she wasn’t graced with a warning of that one second of pure pain as she also ascended. Schoolhouse turned back towards Baldi, casually shrugging.
> 
>  “ _To put it simply. You aren’t supposed to exist._ ”

[  **Forever** ] was a long time. He did not want to stay in a prison forever. 

But this information, the way he was conceived, the way he was born, this shock and undermine to his existence as a whole told him something. Especially that one, last part. The explicit, blunt summation rang louder than any other thing the Founder had said.

“ **…** ”

And he was completely solemn from it.

 

>   
> 
> 
>   “ _Ignorance is not a blissful thing, Baldimore._ ” He said, as he began to approach the other again. He would not fall out of his grasp after this. He was done messing around. He had classes to teach, and gods to speak to.
> 
>  “ _Now that there are no more… Distractions, I’ll give you one last chance. Come with me back to the schoolhouse willingly. Make it easier for the both of us. Fighting is futile. We both know that._ ”
> 
>  One of his hands was casually put out. He would either hold his hand the whole way, or drag him with it.

  
  


“ **…** ”

[  **He** ] doesn’t want to be stripped again. Freedom was the only thing he’d ever valued other than absolute truth. He would do anything to keep it. He knew fighting was futile, he knew running was too.

But it’s better to struggle and scream than to go quietly into an all enrapturing, essentially permanent ‘death’. He’d just been killed anyways. He didn’t want to die further, not without squirming and making it as unpleasant as possible for the one who wished to restrain him.

The Founder didn’t care about him. An offered hand like that meant nothing but negative connotation to him. If he so much as touched it, pain like the one he endured for twenty two years would be delivered unto him for all eternity.

So he sped off again.

 

>  “…”
> 
>  He watched him speed off. Again. Even after his warnings and chances. Even after he had taken the two children away to his school, Baldi remained. He didn’t understand. Was this how mortals acted? Schoolhouse couldn’t be trapped. He couldn’t be contained. He was powerful.
> 
>   Was he feeling…. Remorse..? He wouldn’t say it. But Baldi was  **still** his creation…
> 
>   **No.**  This creature was a disgusting mistake on his perfect track record and would destroy everything if left unattended. He had every right to do this. Gods do not apologize for their harsh actions against the sinful.
> 
>    “ _Baldimore. If you were truly knowledgeable–_ ”
> 
>  Schoolhouse was upon him in an instant, attempting to grab Baldi by one of his thin legs.
> 
>    “ ** _–You’d know that running from a god is a fruitless endevour_**.”

[  **The** ] grasp ripped him from his acceleration to a zero as he slammed face-first into the ground before him. Removing his legs from under him like that caused the plant. Perhaps if he were fully mortal he would’ve felt pain. He was lucky not to.

A terrible, shocked gasp came from him as he twisted and squirmed in the other’s hold. The end. The end, this was the end. He was caught. He couldn’t come to terms with that.

“ **Father! Father _please_!! I knew, I just don’t want to be trapped again! Father it’s horrible, I can’t stand it in there, please don’t put me back!** ”

 

>   **Father.**
> 
>  That word rung through his head. **Father.** The word that made him spare Baldi for that first week.  **Father.**  That word that made him hesitate for a moment, twenty two years ago. Schoolhouse cared for children and their thriving minds, their curious eyes as they searched for answers. He would not hesitate. He would not think twice.
> 
>   He would not cry.
> 
> ##  _“I have no son.”_
> 
>  With that, he began to drag Baldi. Drag him b a c k to the prison that the founders created.

[  **The** ] drag was one through dimension. Through technicolor vomit that Baldi had once traversed himself as to move into the realm of mortals. Seeing it again, seeing it like this was the worst possible way to see it. It made him well up and the insides of his form squeeze in tension.

“ **No! No! NO!!** ”

As he was dragged by his leg through the short colors and into the prison realm’s ‘outdoors’ to the open school entrance, the man flailed more. His claws raked through the false grass, cutting through the facade and opening portals of his own.

He ripped through the void with his talons, trying to find some point in it that would hold him from his father’s pull. But his sharpness and deadliness worked against him, as he cut clean through the fabric of space and time. He was left no give.

Out of grief and outrage, out of everything he’d been through, of twenty two years of waiting just to be insulted, spat upon, then delivered back to more waiting, he thrashed in his father’s grasp until he twisted himself unnaturally around to face his warden. 

He pulled one hand from the ground which he’d left long marks upon and with pounding thought, he did what he desired most.

“ **I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME!! I’M IMPERFECT BECAUSE OF _YOU_!!** ”

He sliced at his superior with no abashment.

 

>  Like a cat being dragged across a rug unwillingly, Baldi caused damage to the mortal fabric. That would be very easy to fix when he was done. His screeching and futile attempts. He just wanted to get this done. He wouldn’t have to do this again for a while. He just wanted to go back to see the wonderful gods of edutainment again.  He wasn’t going to reply, but–
> 
>  He. He was sliced at.
> 
>  Rage. Internal rage swelled up within him. The attack did nothing, of course, it was like swiping at a hologram. Fruitless. Would accomplish nothing. If the Sonic of this world would’ve gotten attacked like that, his corpse would probably be seen throughout several of those disgusting portals Baldi created.
> 
> ##  _**“Summer’s over.”** _
> 
> As abrupt and as harsh as he had came, Schoolhouse slammed Baldi back into the school, the walls receding slightly at the presence of their creator. The walls didn’t complain, why did Baldi have to? Schoolhouse began to hover over Baldi again, tilting his head to the side.
> 
> **_“Tell me . What’s 22 x 2, Baldimore?”_ **

[  **Of** ] course it did nothing. But it felt so nice as to do it once. To know that he’d struck out, showed his true emotions, showed fury against someone he was taught to love but outright hated.

But he was in the school now. Albiet this one felt much.. Emptier. Like it’d been drained of the people who worked. Like it was a shell of itself, just the walls, him, and his creator.

  
  


“ **I hope pain delivers unto you in the only ways it can ever possibly reach you, Father. When, not if, it does, that will be me.** ”

Fuck your question.

 

   “I’d love to see you try to harm even the weakest of gods, Baldimore.”

 He was untouchable. Even in this host’s body. He doubted this would’ve gone so well if the host wasn’t a perfect fit. Schoolhouse knew his job was done. And he could return this mortal he inhabited back to where he belonged. He might erase a memory here and there for Sonic’s own sake.

  “ _It’s forty-four, Baldimore. For someone who abuses those who get answers wrong, you sure aren’t the smartest of noodles. So.  
         F **orty four more years in school for you.**  Hopefully more. I really hope I, and nobody else, has to deal with you again. You can rot for all anyone cares.  **Goodbye**_ **.** ”

 With that, he was gone. The doors locked. Everything was back to ‘normal’.  
     Silence. The silence was all that welcomed Baldi again.

 

* * *

 

  “ _My time here is over, mortals. It’s best to forget about what happened._  
   Don’t fret. Eric and Emma are okay. They’ll be my new students.  
    I’ll put Sonic back where he belongs.   
      Farewell. Don’t forget to do any summer homework!”

_…  
      …  **As he came, he was suddenly gone.**_

 

* * *

 

  “Whuh–”

 He blinks, as he’s suddenly on his usual chair in his usual spot, with his usual sunglasses. Did… Did he take a long nap? His head felt weird. But other than that, he seemed and felt fine.

  “Eh. Whatever.”

 

* * *

 

 “…”

 Blinks.

  “W… What was I doing? Where was I…”

 Looks down.

##    “Where are my legs?”

 

* * *

 

 

[  **…**  ]

The shock of what happened, his situation re-realized. Furrowed brow turned to lax and constricted eyes dared to attempt to dilate themselves with glassy numbness. That was the key, there, to try.

As he laid, then eventually sat, then stood, he broiled. Turmoil was clear to anyone who watched, but there was no one here anymore. No noise. No people. Only him.

He was completely and utterly alone, to him and his emotions he’d repressed well in the past. To forget mortality, to become perfect. When his ideals ran from him and pushed him back into hell, though, his foundation snapped as he was told of how absolutely wrong he was. How wrong his existence was, and how wrong he’d always be just by ‘living’.

His head craned down to look at the unchanged, basic floor. To his hands. His claws visibly shrunk down to what they had been a month or so ago. Frail and incapable as they were destroyed. Unfit to rip tears in even the weakest of dimensions.

It reminded him of what had just happened, what had been taken from him, and his features twisted.

He took on a look most fitting to his nature and vulnerable, not that it mattered much anymore. He need not hide himself if he was to be forever isolated. He need not beg for empathy from visitors nonexistant.

Not that anyone would sympathize with a bastardous mistake anyways.


	8. 9/16 - 10/18

[  **But** ] to be dead, that wasn’t of his sort. To not exist, that wasn’t his sort. To be mistaken, to be shunned, to be cast in impenetrable prison of material stronger than steel and harsher on the eyes, that’s what was his sort.

Was his sort. 

He knew better. He knew, he’d seen. He’d seen better, and his thoughts, his mortal mind allowed him to imagine, allowed him to think execrable ideals and execute them with precision and horror that no outside realm should ever be able to see.

Should and would are different.

Through his months, his months, small in comparison to his total sentence, he’d stood and caught himself in a whirlwind of inconstancy, allowing things to click in place and weaken him to the point where he himself wished there was some heavenly release. Some break from time in which he could hurl his entire being into a mindless void and be free of the things that kept him existing; because he was never meant to in the first place, and his creator had flung that curse upon him before leaving him, then only to come back and scorn him more for his inability to guide himself without directions.

It was labored unto him, the guilt, the remorse, the simple regret of not being what he was meant to be. He’d tried, he’d pulled work and he’d pushed through mortality to get to something entirely inhuman, which was himself, and he’d stayed there for twenty two years because the only tutor he’d really had were the walls that’d punish anything less. Not that they cared now, no, no one cared now, no one except for him.

He’d done nothing but what he was told, and even that wasn’t good enough. The game he’d played, the game which claimed him corrupt and ill-moral, it didn’t know what it was talking about. He was a god, one made of mistake and mortal seed, but still a god. He had power, he felt it still, trying to prick at him through his restraints.

A god didn’t deserve this. 

“ **I _deserve_  a happy ending.**”  
  


Anonymous asked: You’ve done it Baldi. You fucked up. Just forty four more years. And when, or if, you get out again, better not fuck it up again.

“ **…** ”

[  **He** ] would not tolerate this. He could not tolerate this. But he did, he withstood through what was blatant insult to his sorry state, a kick to a wobbling leg he’d barely used to keep himself up.

“ **I don’t know what is going to happen. Though I will attempt a more favorable outcome.** ”

Everything he knows is wrong, everything he’s been taught is wrong, he is wrong, and that fills him with vindictive spite and an enormous soft spotted ego that’d allowed three months to wordlessly damage him.

He will try.

Though trying’s never been enough.  
  


Anonymous asked: you’re stuck now. you can’t do anything. so don’t fight it.

“ **I am no one’s son. ****I am no one’s dog.**** Especially not yours. Give your commands elsewhere. I will fight until someone kills me. I will get my release, one way or another.**”

[  **After**  ] so long silent and sobbing, one wouldn’t expect such a defiant response from a mortal. But this one inparticular has sharpened himself through his torment, and brought himself to conclusions that wouldn’t be dissuaded with mere words.

He’d get what he wanted, regardless of the outcome.

He will win a perfect, flawless victory.  
  


Anonymous asked: You don't scare me, punk-ass bald bitch.

“ **I don’t scare people. I am not scary.** ”

“ **I do not go out of my ware to scare, but I will make one thing come to fear me.** ”

[  **To**  ] invoke deathly terror, to reap it from one person. One person, no, technically not a person. One monster, from one monster, that’s what he’d do. From one. Just one.   
  


Anonymous asked: What do you find most beautiful, Mr. Baldi?

“ **…** ”

[ He’d ] constructed himself, a world of what he’d thought was knowledge and perfection. Things that he thought were wonderful, things that he believed were amazing.

Perhaps, if he were still as he was before he’d been beaten senselessly into this self-inflicted pit of despair and hatred, he would’ve answered what the walls or Founders wanted him to answer.

“ **The outdoors.** ”

There was nothing more beautiful than freedom.  
  


Anonymous asked: What's the plan?

“ **…** ”

“ **…** ”

[  **He** ] doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know anything. He just wants something so desperately, so badly, but has no means and no thoughts as to how to construct it in reality. He’s guideless, lost in a swarm of independent thoughts he’s never had before, hopeless and ultimately draining to think.

Wandering in a dark maze with no light, simply putting his hand on the wall to try and find out where he’s going, only to go around in circles over and over again.  
  


Anonymous asked: I hope you can find happiness, Baldi. Stay strong.

 

[  **Through** ] his torment, such awful things pursed their lips and sung soft melodies of failure and heartache into ears most sensitive. They still hummed their hush sonnets to him, in notes one other than him couldn’t hear.

But perhaps, the talk of mortal was enough to drown it out, maybe even slightly, as he spoke back to them, his fingers physically struggling to regain the life and health they once had.

“ **Thank you,** ” he’d sounded more like he was pushing back tragic shivers in his voice rather than body betraying the normal cool he’d had for years, “ **I will.** ”  
  
<hr>  
  


“ **Misery, misery, soon to be truly twenty two years of misery. Soon to be twenty two. **My birthday..**** ”

[  **He’s**  ] talking to himself. Well, perhaps he wasn’t. He still had company, solemn any compared to what he’d had before, but tiny amounts nonetheless. He’d felt abandoned, and he was, but he still had short amounts of company in the form of selectively voiceless, massless individuals.

“ **I want to go back outside.** ”

It wasn’t a request, and it didn’t sound pitiful. It was a statement, a clear demand of what he so desired, first and foremost. So he lumbered. He did not slide, he used his legs like any normal human would, and walked to the front door.

Though they yelled at him to stop, he did not, and he made it all the way there to put his hands on the locked gateway to outside, raking thin excuses for digits against the non-texture of what blocked him.

“ **I will go outside. You are not going to stop me. The Founder can’t keep me here, I know better.** ”

His voice came as a hiss, shaking the walls with its blatant fury against them. The insides shudder to red as he pushed his mass against the door.

“ **You hold gods,** ” he’d said and continued, “ **you do not hold mortals. You strain for them. You will break for me.** ”

A loud, earpiercing screech, that of static which came not from his mouth echoed through empty prison halls.

 

“ **I will get out.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: It seems the walls don't have as much power over you as they once had...

 

“ **Or I am stronger. Or I am, I am stronger.** ”

[  **He** ] still pushes forward, still pushes against walls straining, straining to keep him in, or maybe to let him out. He’d push, he’d get out. For himself, for freedom and what he deserved. He deserved it.

Gods already are successful.

It is a mortal’s desire to strive towards their success through work.  
  


Anonymous asked: Oh man, Principal is gonna flip out.

 

[  **He** ] dug into the doors, he dug with nails brittle and horrid as he pushed against them with a body he’d refused to be contained. Or a body he’d refused to be contained in.

“ **I don’t care. Dogs like him bark at parked cars and cars heading straight for them all the same.** ”

He has things to worry about. He has things to think. He has things to prioritize. He had things far more reasonable, far more important, than thinking about someone so insignificant to him.  
  


Anonymous asked: Is there anyway... to make you stronger?

 

“ **My name.. My real name.. Say it to me, say it once, and then again when I ask you to do it again, it will make me stronger.** ”

[  **He** ] croaked. Futile and pointless, the explanation was. He’d seen the results of that happening before. He was as strong as he was going to get now, here, and right now.

“ **The walls, even though they strain against me, even if they’re distracted, they’ll still destroy you for trying. It’s useless unless I get out.** ”

How long would he need to keep up this strain, this strain that caused them to scream against him still, for who knows how much longer later? Would he ever get out, would they ever open up enough for something like him to leave?

He was hopeless, but it was better than sitting and sulking like he had been since he was put back. It was an action, something, something, something even nothing could partake in doing.  
  


Anonymous asked: Your Sonic has demonstrated the ability to possess. Might you be able to do the same?

 

“ **Even if I could, there’s no one to possess here. No one’s here. You don’t even count, you vanish after I stop talking to you.** ”

[  **It’s**  ] hopeless. It’s all hopeless. He can’t rely on anything else except for what he was doing right now. Even then it was nothing, this was all nothing. He was nothing, so he expected nothing. He wanted to be surprised, he wanted to see if he got anything from any of this. 

He didn’t want to sit. He didn’t want to rot. He didn’t want to. It was hopeless, he was hopeless, but he was bored. He was bored of sitting and rotting and waiting, and so he was going to do something.

This was all it was.  
  
<hr>  
  


[  **He** ] hadn’t counted the days.

But two days ago, it was his birthday.

He hadn’t noticed.

But he did notice when the doors collapsed and broke from his hands, and he was out. He stumbled out. 

He did not become stronger, there was no wave of power, there was simply.. Out.

“ **Oh Founder..** ”

He murmured and his claws dug into reality, tearing it at its seems with his simple movement of them. He knew what he was, half bred, a bastard, hellion child of mortal and god.

Mortal.

Mortal belief, mortal who did not reveer, mortal who was a heretic and hated god. Mortal who had far more, far more than anything, anyone before him, who soured on spite and pain to force himself to smile. Imperfect, strive to perfection, and nearly there but not quite.

The imperfect god.

The perfect tool to kill one.

“ **Your begging for my mercy will be my birthday present.** ”

 

And with that, he scratched a tear for him to enter. Not to the mortal plane, but to somewhere.. More fitting for his being.  
  


Anonymous asked: Before you confront the founder, allow us to help you regain your full strength. *Ahem* BALDIMORE.

 

[  **He’s**  ] travelling. He’s out. He’s going, going, and soon he’ll be there. Soon he’ll unleash wrath upon wraths, if he could. Or he’d die, if he could. He was not going back, there was  _no turning back_.

“ **Again. Say it again.** ”

He had opportunity, willing opportunity.  
  


Anonymous asked: Baldimore!

 

[  **There** ] was no theatrics, no special effects. Except, perhaps, the additional flesh he abruptly gained upon his fingers.

“ **I appreciate your help, thank you.** ”

His travel would be over soon. Soon, the lions den.  
  


> [@noturningbxck](https://tmblr.co/mdDJU62KWrCnhXdohiiFAtA)

[  **Growl** ] and hiss, corrode and corrupt. His travel stopped, his portal left him out at the promise land, the place he’d inherit. The vomit of colors he’d traversed through was all the same, maybe even it blended in with the world he’d now forced himself into.

He’d gone during the schooltime, and he was just outside the entrance. His body is stiff with anticipation, and his eyes are wide with excitement.

Death awaited. For whom, that was yet to be known.

“ _Oh, hi!_ ”

He’d stricken himself back to the voice walls loved to hear. It was ear-spliiting, like the equivalent of a yell because of the simple presence of it. He didn’t need to raise it, he knew he’d be heard.

“ _This sure seems like it’ll be tooooons of fun! Haha!_ ”

 

He could make himself sound happy, still, even when tormented with mental agony.  
  


Anonymous asked: Baldimore, tf are ya doin

 

“ **Meeting my maker.** ”  
  


>    “Mister Sonic?”
> 
>  A young polar bear – One of his many students, had appeared next to him and gently tapped his side. Schoolhouse’s head turned towards her with a small tilt, puzzled by her worried expression. 
> 
>  “T… There’s a weird man outside–”
> 
>   She was cut off by the sudden voice, which caused her to make a startled noise. Schoolhouse fell silent. There was a moment of silence, before Schoolhouse put a hand on the bear’s shoulder.
> 
>   “ALEX. Get the other students and put them in the classrooms. Robotnik has the keys to lock it.” The god said, in a firm yet somehow soothing tone. 
> 
>  “M-Mister Sonic– W… Okay.” She meekly replied, as she shuffled away.
> 
>  Schoolhouse, however, to put it bluntly, was livid. Not only had Baldi escaped, no. He had appeared in his domain. The hedgehog appeared as a glitchy blur for a moment, before angrily standing mere feet away from Baldi, the doors not even opening. They locked themselves as he left.
> 
>   “ **BALDI**.” His voice boomed, shaking the ground slightly. “ **WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE OF YOUR SCHOOLHOUSE? DO I NEED TO TEACH YOU _ANOTHER_ LESSON?**”

[  **He** ] was phased. He had instinctual fear, but he didn’t want to show it. Maybe if he were more mortal, he wouldn’t have been able to contain himself. Maybe if he weren’t so angry, he wouldn’t have been able to contain shrinking pupils. But he did.

The most he did in response was allow more tears to seep from him, but that seemed to be an ongoing problem he had ignored for the past couple of months now.

“ _Haha! Lets learn a lesson together,_ **Sonic** _!_ ”

He wasn’t worthy of title, any title. 

He wasn’t smart enough to attack last time, he wasn’t prepared to attack. But it was a mortal’s way to be imperfect then grow over time. So, instead of running, Baldi attacked. Immediately.

He was upon the god he hated so with claws sharpened with belief, cut with thousands of people knowing what he was, who he was, and what he was to do. And they aimed, and they sought to tore whatever they could grasp onto.

Purchase, godly flesh, he was mightier, he was mortal. A being who did not believe in one so holy such as Sonic the Hedgehog.  
  


>   Schoolhouse’s hands curled up into fists as he shook. The other hadn’t even been in that prison for nearly as long as before – What had gone wrong? Did Schoolhouse say too much about Baldi? Maybe he should’ve kept him in the dark for all eternity. He would’ve liked it if Baldi never existed, but that damn other founder. Why was he so different? Why was this thing a byproduct? 
> 
>   The god was only somewhat surprised by the immediate attack. He imagined the other as a sniveling, growling dog. Last time Baldi attacked him, it did nothing. It was a fruitless attempt. The god still leaned back out of instinct, and–
> 
>  …It wasn’t pain.   
>      But  _black liquid_ seeped out of the small  **wound**  that the other made in his right arm from the small swipe.
> 
> **“…”**
> 
>  No. No. Impossible. He stared at the injury with a mixture of pure shock and sheer anger. There was only a small pause, before the founder immediately tried to ‘spindash’ right into the others chest, which, unlike the actual Sonics, had a very ‘stilted’ movement. A mere mortal would probably pass out from the pain of it alone – It was like a sentient sawblade that wanted you  _ **dead.**_

[  **The**  ] sawblade sure enough connected, but he was not connected to pain. Gods were never meant to fight, and gods couldn’t fight properly. They couldn’t hurt eachother. Well, he isn’t a god. That doesn’t apply to him, and he could fight, and he would fight  _properly_.

The sawblade wracked against his body and pushed him, and pushed him. But it wasn’t enough, this wasn’t enough. It didn’t kill him, nor did it cut him. It refused. Maybe in the past it would’ve split him into pieces, but it didn’t.

His claws moved as to hold the sides of the ball, or at least try to. Well, ‘hold’ was a generous term, it was more like scrape into its sides as it rotated against him.

“ **If you kill me, you give me what I want. If you succumb to me, I’ll finally be truly happy. I will win, no matter what you do.** ”

 

It was promise. And he would try for the best outcome possible.  
  


> _Why?_
> 
>  Why was this happening? As more black liquid began to seep from the ball as the other scraped into his sides, Schoolhouse erratically moved back, new injuries adorning his back and sides. Schoolhouse twitched, his expression turning back into its ‘neutral’ state as his pupils shook. He wouldn’t accept this. He was god. The other was an abomination. 
> 
>   _“Wow, Baldi, you sure are acting silly!”_  His casual, child-like voice peeked through.  _“I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you an unlimited amount of students. Solvable problems. Unlimited schoolhouses. I am giving you this choice, and if you don’t accept it–”_  His form twitched erratically for a second, before the godly, anger filled voice returned –    
> 
> 
>    ** _“I will kill you. I am a god. I do not care if you win or not, I need to eliminate this threat that you’ve become.”_**

[  **Fear**  ] and terror ingrained itself deeper into him with the movements and the tone the ‘hedgehog’ took on. For someone such as he, who’d spent years revering and fearing god, it was an awful sight.

..A promise of solvable problems. He wasn’t ever meant to have people solve his problems? He had the game’s rules set against him, he was in a constant losing situation.

“ **I will not be trapped in a rigged cell again,** ” he hissed, “ **I refuse to be a whited-over grade on _your_  bad report card. I pick die. So kill me, Sonic.**”

The black oil dripping from the god was indication. It was lovely, lovely so much so that he could see injury. He could see a win condition. Like notebooks, like problems solved, a win condition that was apparent.

It was the difference between a true ending and a good ending.

 

So he’d sorted himself and braced for the next attack.  
  


>   Rage.
> 
>  It was something that softly burned within him. The other gods were so perfect. No mistakes. Everyone loved them. He was held up to standards, though. He was compared to the actual hedgehog that people loved so dearly, he was considered obsolete for making this terrible, terrible mortal mistake.
> 
>  He was going to undo it.
> 
>  Like an angry beetle shedding its cocoon, two long, thin white arms sprouted from the hedgehogs form, and he shuddered. Instead of spikes, wings spread from the back of its head and even its stomach, as a smirk turned into nothing, and its face was covered in several eyes. The god towered over Baldi, finally above his height by three entire feet. The outspread wings made it look larger. 
> 
>  It honestly looked like a moving sketch from a childs notebook. A child who liked godly imagery. A maw, angry and full of jagged lines, revealed itself, as the colorless creature spoke, its voice booming and was nothing like it was before.
> 
> _This is what Schoolhouse really was._
> 
> ##  **“Die, then.”**
> 
>  A large, clawed hand turned into a fist as it swung down at Baldi with a godly amount of force, aiming to force him into the ground and injure him, all of its eyes focusing on him.

Father like son, but one more of an abomination than the other, one would suppose. Of the horror Sonic held, his creation was steadfast in his resolute against the transformation, keeping his eyes glued and fish-like during it.

He held his arms against the crunch of the fist as it tried to force itself down upon his body. Which he shakily held against, defending from broken form.. If he could even break in the first place.

“ **Kill me is a challenge, not a _request_.** ”

The godless creature said, continuing to hold. His features distorted as his mouth opened, face going up.

“ _Haha! Wooow! This problem looks realllly hard, if you need help, just tell me!_ ”

And he tried to wrap his lips around the fist, to bring it into void like he’d done with so many other things. 

 

Lakes, streets, concrete, the meat of god; Sonic’s flesh. If it could even have been considered as skin in the first place, that was.  
  


>   The beast let out a terrible roar as it harshly put its own strength and weight into the fist as the other held against it. Its tongue angrily lashed out as its many pupils shook. It wanted Baldi dead. It wanted him to be nothing more than a neon colored mess on this holy ground. He didn’t care about holding up his appearance anymore, one word echoed throughout its mind.
> 
> **Kill**.
> 
>  Within its anger and its thoughts, it didn’t stop its momentum as its entire arm was suddenly plunged into the void of the beast, and a screech was let out as the creature tried to pull its arm and hand out of the void, struggling. No. No, this was bad. If Baldi consumed him, then–  
>  …No. No, that wouldn’t happen! He wouldn’t let him.
> 
> ##   “YOU ARE A FAILURE. YOU ARE A BEAST. YOU MUST NOT EXIST.”

“ **It’s not my fault it’s genetic.** ” 

As he talked, his mouth shut. Like a crocodile, his bite was enough to sever limbs. Which is exactly what he’d done. A push down, a close of lips, and the entire arm was gone into his void. 

“ _Wow, haha! That suuure is tasty! Always remember to say please and thank you when asking for seconds!_ ”

He knew he had not a reason to move out of the way. Just eat. His mouth expanded, the vacantness behind it doing so. Not an indication of blood or teeth, just the all-encompassing darkness of death that awaited behind closed eyes; closed lips.

 

He would swallow God.  
  


>   Eyes widened as he reeled back, clutching at the area where his arm once was with its remaining one. Scribbles that resembled liquid fell onto the ground as it stood there, watching the other in what could only be described as shock. As the other was going in for the very metaphorical kill, Schoolhouse did its best to fight back by keeping the others top lip open with its free arm, its knees buckling as it stared into nothingness, its voice softening as it spoke as a last ditch effort to stop the other.
> 
>  
> 
>   “ _Baldimore, please…_ ” It shuddered, its pupils as small as they would go and its form trying to fight back, “ _You don’t know what you’re doing._ ”

“ **To live or learn, you will learn.** ”

[  **His** ] voice was sadistic. The lack of mercy evident from his tone and sheer enthusiasm. Nothing would stop him, the fear of his creator was nothing but fuel for his ultimate unyielding fire.

 

“ **That’s all, class, you’re dismissed.** ”

 

Was what he said before snapping his jaws shut as harshly as possible and attempting to consume the one who breathed life into him in the first place.  
  


>  
> 
> A terrible, echoing noise resounded as its claw grasped at the light, only for the entire hand to fall off, and the god? Gone. It fell into the void of its own creation, leaving its domain, and its power, to this abomination. You couldn’t kill gods, but you could certainly do the second best thing.
> 
>   Take them.  _Consume_  their power, even in the literal sense.
> 
>  The old schoolhouse fell silent, as the remaining clawed hand on the ground writhed and twitched without anything to guide it. 
> 
>    **Baldi had succeeded.**

[  **And** ] with that success, his tears had stopped. Spite wiped them from his face and vengeance cooed soft, loving words to him, cupping his face and whispering of his victory.

 

“ _Five second rule!_ ”

Is what he shouted before expanding his mouth over the flailing arm. Snap, munch, gone. He shivered with power and jubilation, making a hellish distorted squeal as he looked over the land.

“ _I’m god! I’m god!_ ”

 

He would’ve jumped, but he was happy enough flailing his arms around madly.  
  


Anonymous asked: So, uh. Baldi. What are you gonna do now.

 

“ **…** ”

[  **He’s**  ] at a loss for words.

It seems like he hadn’t planned to get this far.  
  


Anonymous asked: Well...what's a god to someone who's virtues go against them?

 

“ **Food.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: There are more edutainment gods, right? Do you think Sonic's disappearance is gonna draw their attention?

 

“ **Sonic was a high god. I was second only to him before I realized what I was. Now I am first. It doesn’t matter if they notice, it’ll be their demise if they face me.** ”

[  **He** ] had no apprehension, no fear about being confronted.  
  


Anonymous asked: What determines a god's power? What's the difference between a high god and a low god?

 

“ **From what I remember, it’s what you specify in, how well you are capable of executing it, and how well you are known either as a being of knowledge or outside of it.** ”

[  **It**  ] had been explained to him once twenty two years ago, by someone he’d once respected.

“ **Math is on the highest in specifications, and the low end being things like psychological opinion pieces— ethics and morals. I specify in math, as did Sonic. I was told I was highly capable, and highly known. But considering how much I failed, I believe that first part was a lie.  
**

**Something makes me special. It may be my mortality that pushes me above normal gods of knowledge such as Sonic or Mario. Lower gods, I believe, are just forgotten and much more powerless and incapable than something like me. But I don’t know, I haven’t met any.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: Hey do you remember that Eric kid? The literal reason why you're out and about? Well, apparently he has his own school. Or something.

 

“ _Wooow! Good for him!_ ”

[  **It** ] seems like he doesn’t believe this is much of a concern.. Well, at least he thinks it’s good?  
  


Anonymous asked: I remember you mentioned a while ago that Schoolhouse Sonic and Typing Teacher Mario were "As far from being enemies as possible" or something. What exactly did you mean by that?

 

“ **I am the bastard child of a god married. That should tell you everything.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: This won't last, Baldi.

 

“ **I ate the only thing that could’ve stopped me. I am the highest. Nothing can challenge me. This is eternity.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: Everything removed from the equation leaves a variable in its place. Perhaps Sonic may return, or someone still more powerful than you will fill in that blank. Perhaps you truly did move into his spot, instead leaving a variable in the place you held before for a revenge plot to unfold just as yours did.

 

“ _Quite the analogy! Love the part about math! Haha!_ ”  
  


Anonymous asked: You may be strong, but they are many. It is as they say, "strength in numbers."

 

“ **That’s a good one.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: I guess now that you're out, this would be a good opportunity to just explore. Maybe go camping or something.

“ **I do love the outdoors. After I consume every single god and become the truest penultimate being of knowledge, I will.**

**Also after I see Eric.** ”  
  


Anonymous asked: And now, you'll launch an attack and ride it all the way into history. Am I right?

 

“ **History is written by the victors, after all.** ”

 

[kkazoooie](https://kkazoooie.tumblr.com/) asked: I believe in you Baldi!

“ _Woow! Thanks!_ ”

 

> [@noturningbxck](https://tmblr.co/mdDJU62KWrCnhXdohiiFAtA)

“ **Eric..** ”

[  **The** ] thing whispered, and his breath transferred to his nail. Which he tore, and tore, and tore more as the wails of dimension and hells let loose into the ear; a portal in the wake of their screams.

The trip was fast. Very fast.

He was outside Eric’s school house.

“ **Eric!!!** ”

 

He’s trying to get attention. Get Eric outside.  
  


>   There was a pause. He could’ve swore he heard something –
> 
> _And there it was._
> 
>  
> 
>   The voice he tried to erase from his mind echoed throughout the halls and into his classroom. His hands gripped at the desk as he slumped back in his chair a bit. Does he go outside, or does he let him in? He had to do something. He couldn’t just let this… **Thing** wander someplace else. He was technically the one who released him in the first place, but he had no idea that answering the questions right would do so.
> 
>  There was an awkward period of silence, before the blue entrance doors of the schoolhouse abruptly opened, yet there was nobody around who could’ve opened them.
> 
>  He rather have the danger come to him than to confront the danger on his own, apparently.

 

“ **Eric!!** ”

[  **He’d**  ] called out again, louder this time. He entered the lions den. He skid right through into the school, calling out for the other.

 

He’s looking through the rooms. Looking. Looking. A matter of time before he found you, Eric.  
  


>   “…”
> 
>  It was inevitable that the other would find the classroom. The school was very simplistic, everything labeled with signs on doors. He crossed his hands on his desk as he felt Baldi behind the door. He just knew he was there. Even as an adult, the thought of him. Tiny, young. Trying to get away from this man without breaking any rules.
> 
> **Still hurt him.**
> 
>  He couldn’t even look at the other, just. Staring at his desk, with that blue box off to the side.

[  **Baldi** ] opened the door by phasing through and having it open behind him. He saw Eric, then examined the classroom.

 

“ _Wooow!_ ” He’d stretched in his nasally tone, before locking eyes with the ‘teacher’ before him. Man, they looked so similar, the two of them.

“ _Good job on being a super smart stu- teacher!_ ”

He’d congratulated, and he actually sounded sincere.

..Maybe.  
  


>  
> 
>   “…”
> 
>  Eric manages to look up at the other, and shudders. He fearfully adjusts his glasses to make sure this wasn’t just some sort of trick his mind was playing on him. It wasn’t, sadly. He almost ignores the compliment, as he gets up from his chair, silent for a long moment. 
> 
>  Then, he manages to speak.
> 
>   “Lets get to the point.  **What did you do to founder?** ” He was doing an amazing job at not stammering, despite his fear.

 

 

 

“ **I ate him.** ”

[  **His** ] claws flex slightly, preemptively, expecting something. Even from his student, his passing student, he couldn’t not expect something with a question like that.

“ **Is there a problem? Would you like to solve it with me?** ”

As much as he legitimately respected Eric, he couldn’t trust him if he was showing concern for the hedgehog. No, not at all. It was broken right then and there, with that one simple question.

 

Talk about an easy betrayal.  
  


>  
> 
>   “…I would be disgusted, but honestly, coming from you, I’m not surprised.”
> 
>  There’s a sigh. He had no choice, then. No wiggle room for being nice. He literally ate a god, and that could cause trouble. He glances at the blue box for a moment, before sucking in some air through his teeth.
> 
>  “Baldi… Why did you come here? To thank me? Because I don’t want to hear that from you. Did you want to show off how much you got revenge on Schoolhouse? Whoo. You did it. You just kinda. Proved his point that you  _should_  be locked up and all.”
> 
>  Hoo. Going in hard, there.
> 
>  “I’m  **done**  being nice to you, Baldi. I was trapped in there for twenty-two years, too, and you don’t see me going around, eating gods and hurting people. I get it. You have complicated reasons for hating founder and all, but I’m sick of you using that as an excuse for your actions. If you have been using that as an excuse, even.”

 

[  **…**  ]

“ ** **I know I am a terrible, horrendous being, at least the way you think I am, and I revel in it.**  What did  _you_ hope to accomplish with this? Provoke me into consuming you like the abomination god you worship? Because if that’s what your motive behind your monologue is, I’m willing to indulge you. Maybe you’ll meet him inside the void of stomach acid I contain. Then you two can relax in there while I truly relish in eternal freedom and happiness.**”

 

Eternal freedom, eternal freedom. Beautiful freedom, beautiful life, beautiful happiness. Everything he’d want and more, it charmed him. It truly did, and he wanted to keep it for himself. If Eric wanted to even try to get in the way of that, he’d just eat him.  
  


>  
> 
>   “Actually, no, Baldi. I rather not be eaten by your dirt riddled mouth.” Eugh. It gave him the heebie-jeebies just thinking about that. He huffs. “I don’t worship Schoolhouse, Baldi. He helped me and Emma. He helped me become a teacher. He helped us to the best of his ability to get over the stuff you’ve done to us. I don’t see you doing any good wills to warrant me calling you a god, Baldi.”
> 
>  Eric rubs his temples.
> 
>  “Sorry, but from what I’ve seen? I can’t let you be free. I don’t want to deny happiness from anyone, but your happiness means suffering for others, so. Sorry about this. I’m not a violent person, but I guess I have to play the hero. For once.”
> 
>  With that, he opens the lid to the blue box, and out of all things– 
> 
> _Takes out a metal ruler._

[  **So** ] that’s how it is, then. A ruler. Tool of math, tool of holy crusade, to be turned against him. Metal.. Much more stable than the wooden one he had, and very shiny. He’ll have to restrain himself from eating the ruler with Eric. After he’s gotten a couple nice swipes in, of course.

Things bleeding, dripping, secreting material.. True show of pain. Of pain, shameless pain that couldn’t be denied. Yes, he’d love that. He would love that. He’ll do that.

 

“ **Irony at its finest with that ruler.** ”

 

And within seconds, Baldi’d traversed between the desks and was upon Eric, going to scratch.  
  


>   Terror gripped at him in that moment. Everything seemed to go in slowmotion. 
> 
>  He remembered. Every time that blast of static interrupted his senses as Baldi smacked that ruler against him, sending him into nothingness. Every time. Every single time. It all happened at once. He raised the ruler, holding it as if he didn’t even want to hold it, as he cried out, swiping at the other. Specifically, at the others chest.
> 
>  
> 
>   “ _G-Get away from me!_ ” He yelled, as he attacked.

[ Mutually ] assured destruction. His swipe hit, but so did Eric’s. Both cut just as deep as the other, but one maybe bled and the other didn’t. Inside of Baldi’s body was nothing. Blackness, just like his mouth.

And with Eric’s swipe against his form, the boy had torn a slight hole in that thing that was his form to peel away what waited to be never seen underneath. And he felt no pain, but he did heed Eric’s cry and get back. Simply to look at himself.

 

“ **You really don’t know how to use that thing. You’re very amateurish, Eric, but it’s a learning process. Hand it over, and I’ll show you how to really use it.** ”

 

Now he’s going to grab that ruler.  
  


>    Eric was not a fighter. It just wasn’t in his character.
> 
>  If he was Emma, he would’ve stabbed Baldi at least five times by now. Neon blue blood seeped out of the wound that was high up on his chest, as he grit his teeth. At the very least, he knew the ruler had some effect on him. 
> 
>  Those words though. That damn voice of Baldis. It simply angered him. So many times had he tried talking to Baldi, asking him why and how. So many simple questions only returned with a blank stare, and more pain and suffering for him and his best friend.
> 
>  He was done. He was done with being nice. He gripped the ruler, with angry tears in his eyes and blood dripping down his shirt. He wasn’t going to let Baldi have this. He wasn’t going to let Baldi do this to other people.
> 
>  
> 
>   “You hurt so many people –” A step back. “You hurt me, Emma, the Principal… And so many more people. There is no excuse for that, you only care for yourself.” His words had a very angry, violent edge to them. He was gripping the ruler so hard that it almost hurt him. “I-I’m going to stop this. I’m going to kill you, Baldi.  ** _I’m going to kill you_**.”
> 
>   With that, Eric went on an all out assault. He screamed in absolute rage as he tried to repeatedly smack and stab at Baldi with the ruler, a mixture of sadness and anger seen behind those glasses of his.

 

[  **He** ] just backed up from the assault, retreating his plan to grab the ruler until he could. Then Baldi went in, assuming he’d be fine when he believed Eric to have been slowing. Giving into mortal weakness.

But because Baldi was mortal..  He was bound to overstep.

To make a mistake.

Which he did.

 

And he’d been stabbed. 

 

This could work to his advantage, all he’d have to do was overpower Eric’s grip, rip it out of himself, and beat the child senselessly. Which he’d be doing, at least trying, starting now.  
  


>  
> 
>   “…”
> 
>  He seemed… Shocked when he actually stabbed the other. Like he snapped right out of that anger and realized what he had done.  _Oh god, what was he doing?_  Why did founder put all of his eggs into one basket like this? Was this another test? He was unsure, as he quickly did his best to fight back against the other, and actually plunge the ruler deeper into him.
> 
>  He was no longer a sniveling child who was too afraid to run in the halls, he was a  **man**.
> 
>    “You took away my happiness for twenty two years.” He said, through grit teeth. “You’re your own worst enemy, Baldi. You only did to others what Schoolhouse did to you, in a sense..”

 

“ **…** ”

[  **He**  ] was close enough to Eric like this. He had a complete disregard for himself. He felt no fear, no pain, and he was fully confident. Why would he doubt himself after what he’d eaten? What he’d consumed?

This was fun.

But it’s ending now.

 

So, he opened his mouth. Wider. Wider, to do unto Eric the same fate he’d given Schoolhouse.   
  


>  “A-A-Ah …” Was all that he managed to say as the other attempted to consume him. He couldn’t imagine what it was like for Schoolhouse. He didn’t want anyone else to have to go through such… A disgusting thing. Eric shut his eyes tight.
> 
>  
> 
>  “Baldi, you are–”
> 
>  With all of his might, he took the ruler that was stabbed through Baldi and sliced it upwards, in a very harsh attempt to cut the others lips in half. Wipe that stupid look off of his face, quite literally.
> 
> ##   “EXPELLED - - ! ! ! !”

[  **Oh** ] .

 

Color him surprised. Color him not even pale, not faltering as his lips were cut.. And his body was split into two pieces; the line differentiating them being vertical. His mouth was slashed alongside his body, and fell uselessly to the floor like two red ribbons. The monster didn’t feel it, he felt no pain, but he knew it was something he didn’t exactly prefer compared to what he had.

He knew he was part mortal, capable of death. And this seems like something that’d be capable of killing him.

So he’d stumbled aback for a moment. The line between his halves seemingly invisible for a moment before his right side flopped over, completely detaching itself and falling to the floor. The man seemed fine on his left side, still there standing up because the cut hadn’t been fully down as to seperate his legs as well.

Unequal, he stepped back, then collapsed, his shrunken pupil enlarging back to something more relaxed looking.

“ **Mh.** ”

 

The remnant of his split mouth tried to say something, but it came out as nothing.  
  


Anonymous asked: I believed you could change for the better, but you've only gone farther down the slippery slope. I've given up on you.

 

[  **…**  ]

“ **…** ”

He’s given up, too.  
  


> ## …
> 
>  What had he done. Oh god. Oh god, no. He stumbled back, the ruler still gripped in his hand as he watched the remains of Baldi collapse. He was still alive. Why was he still alive. He felt sick in more ways than one. He thought that some sort of revenge would feel good, but to him? This was terrible.
> 
>  He never wanted revenge. Just closure.
> 
>  “Oh- Oh my god, I…” His voice became meek again, as a few frightened tears fell down his face. “I…. I never wanted this, oh my god…” He’s half expecting the founder to crawl out of the remains once he was done, and he really didn’t want to see that. Regret fell upon Eric’s face. He didn’t feel bad for Baldi because, well. He hurt him and a few others for twenty-two years, but just. This whole situation, honestly. Maybe Baldi could’ve been a better person if Schoolhouse wasn’t so cold towards him. He hesitantly approached Baldi, staring at the pieces of him on the ground.
> 
>   “I…” He stares at the metal ruler. “I’m sorry, Baldi. I… I don’t like hurting people. I really don’t. I’m… I’m sorry that you couldn’t be happy. I…” He raises the ruler again to finish him off, but hesitates. “…Why. Why am I… No, I must. I have to kill you. God– God, why me? I just want to help people…”

 

“ **…** ”

[  **It** ] was so ungodly horrible. Why couldn’t have this happened earlier. It was nicer to never have something than to have it then get it taken away. He’d grasped onto true happiness for maybe one day. Even when he was free earlier this year, that was happiness with known limit and guilt.

The immoral mortal god didn’t bother to say anything, but by the way his one bigger half was still looking around, and then focusing and making eyecontact with Eric, he was still alive.

 

His eyes were disappointed and hollowly accepting. If he couldn’t have freedom in life, it was better that he just died. It was pointless to stay it off. He’d prefer it much more than to be thrown back into jail.  
  


>  
> 
>    He feels his cyan blood on his chest as he stares down at the others eyes. Those eyes that stared him down. Always. He felt like a knight, pitying the beast that had tormented it and those who it had loved. Was he still too soft? Even after all of this? He was unsure.
> 
>  He had to put Baldi out of his misery. He assumed that given time, Baldi might be able to put himself together, but that would just leave others suffering. So, he raised his ruler again.
> 
>  “I… I don’t know what happens after death. But I hope that happiness somehow finds you after it, Baldi. Goodbye. I’m sorry that I had to be the one to release you, then kill you.”
> 
>  With that, he smacked it against the others head, several times. To make sure he was dead. It made sense to him– Baldi did value knowledge, so that should be the thing that would lead to his death if it was gone.

[  **Release** ] him from prison. Both the one he’d stayed, and the body he’d lived in. His head crunched more and more in, and those eyes were eventually forced into rest.

He’d wanted happiness, and out of twenty two years of life, he’d gotten only eight days of it. Then, he was gone.

His body deteriorated as what was something, a mockery of life, stopped its clock and said that was enough for its run. He broke down, his greens and pale browns and blues to become something else. It drifted upwards and out through the ceiling.

 

 

And he was dead, leaving all the things he’d eaten behind.   
  


>  Hey remember when Baldi ate an entire lake. And dirt.
> 
>  Well, that was heading right towards him.
> 
>  There wasn’t a moment of a respite, as Eric was flung out of his classroom by the spurt of water and other objects as Eric eventually was spat right out of his school by the mixture of water and dirt, skidding on the grass as he passed out from all of it.
> 
>  
> 
>   “…”
> 
>  Silence filled the area as everything eventually settled down. Two red shoes eventually walked to Eric’s side, as there was a pause.
> 
> **“…You did it.”** Schoolhouse’s voice was devoid of emotion.  **“I’ll clean up this mess for you. You did great.”**
> 
>  With that, the damage was gone, along with Schoolhouse. He had to catch up on some teaching. Eric was put inside, slumped over on his chair with his glasses back on his desk.
> 
>  
> 
>     …Everything would be fine, now.


End file.
